Beauty in Brokenness

Hi! I’m really excited about this post….ready??

Things are going to start getting pretty busy. I’m ready!  All but one of the 5 targeted villages has been educated simply on what IA2 is and what exactly is involved in the discipleship groups. They have all also relayed back to us what days and times would work best for them to start meeting! In addition to those 5, we’ve decided to add one more, since they specifically asked us to come once they heard about it! So, 6 of the 7 loan group locations will be starting discipleship! Plus, the SE staff will begin a group as well as a separate group with the SE vocational students! In addition to that, there might be some “other” locations not associated with SE at all that I might venture to! I’ll tell you more about that later. Oh, and it’s been mentioned that we might start discipleship groups in the secondary school. So, we shall see.

So, if all goes as planned (ha!), here’s what this coming week will look like:
Monday:
Noon-1: IA2 with Vocational Students
1:30 – (these usually last the whole afternoon once you travel there, wait, wait, wait, get started, visit, and head back):IA2 Wudu (this is the largest group and am praying for discernment on how to handle the large numbers if the Lord decides to send them…this is the one that Moses from the Market place would be at, the 4 ladies I talked to the other day at the market, and the gentlemen I talked to who thought my name was Monica!)
Tuesday:
11 Educational Seminar in Jalimo (pretty far away) and the first IA2 group meeting. We decided to go ahead and jump in since they have already been informed by word of mouth and to prevent a huge lapse in time before hearing back from them as to when they would like to start.
IA2 with Vocational Students depending on time with Jalimo
Wednesday:
12-1: IA2 with Vocational Students
Thursday:
11 IA2 in Mondikolok (this is the village we decided to add last minute…will be my first time there!)
Friday:
8: IA2 with SE Staff
12 IA2 with Vocational Students
2 IA2 in Kiri Village
Saturday:
12 IA2 in Leikor Market
Sunday:
9 Church!
Rest? :) (Good chance I’ll be venturing out to a different village not too far to talk about starting a group (MAYBE Rapha group) after church sometime.

Exciting stuff, huh?! :)

So, I feel like a beauty pageant contestant with a full audience of children!! It’s so true! I’ve got the wave DOWN! It’s odd, because it just started when I began riding with Scovia on the motorbike everywhere this past week, but it seems like that kicked off every single child yelling, no matter how far they are from me, “Gelatat!! Gelatot!!! Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!! How are youuuuuuuu?!!!! Byyeeeeeeeeeeee!!” I smile, wave, respond, to which they bust out in laughter, shrieking, and giddy excitement. Gelatot. White person. Scovia told me it literally means clear skin, pure and white, without blemish. She said she loves hearing it, that it’s a positive thing. Think about that. She told me that as we were driving somewhere and I just sat there taking it in. Now, every single time I hear it, (and I hear it a lot, a whole lot) it’s as if God is reminding me how I am to be, how He sees me not because that’s who I am on my own, but because of His blood and cleansing power. Pure, without blemish. That precisely what I have been studying!!!...how as the Bride of Christ I am to be pure and holy and without blemish. How cool is our God to tie it all together??

Saturday. Saturday was the second time I was to meet in Leikor Market. I had been praying for the Lord to really do a work there this week. I had a bit of a negative attitude about last week’s meeting. It was just chaotic. That being said, God can use chaos in a heartbeat, and I fully trust He did. I just was begging the Lord for wisdom and discernment in how to make it “work” better. I prayed that He would bring the specific people he wanted there and to give them a desire to focus, participate, be all in. I knew He wanted me to start again at square one. He wanted me to make this meeting about getting to know each other’s stories.

So, Scovia calls and says she’s running a little late, so I told her I’d walk over there and meet her at the Market. I just couldn’t keep a smile off my face as I’m walking down the orange dirt road, my Bible in hand, behind a group of women with things piled high on their head. I mean, I stick out like a sore thumb, y’all!!! I was SO the white, Bible thumping gal, walking down the African road…and I LOVED IT! :) As I’m walking, I notice a gal from the vocational school. It’s not hard to miss her; she has to be 6’4, a whole head taller than most anyone. She is stunningly beautiful. She looked at me and with a puzzled look on her face asked where I was headed. So, I tell her the market. So was she! (Yet again, such a joy in KNOWING people) So, Jacqueline and I chatted and finished our walk to the market. I got there and Scovia hadn’t arrived yet. I figured this would be the case and fully expected to have a few awkward minutes of not being able to really converse with anyone and just stare at each other. I sweet older lady starts to just talk away to me as if I know every word she is saying. Funny thing is, I knew the jist of it. She was telling me about all of her physical pains. She had pounding pain in her back, her chest. Her legs ached. She felt weak. Amazing how communication is still possible without me knowing one actual word she was saying. They got me a stool, and I sat down right in the middle of the isle and the women in the market. I knew they were all talking about me. I was trying to just guess what they were saying. I know for a fact at one point they were talking about my tattoo on my foot. They tried SO hard not to stare at it, so I went ahead and just stuck my foot at to make it easier on them. :) My tattoo, it sure is a conversation piece here. Maybe I’ll talk about that some other time. I’m sitting there, praying, they are all chatting, and then I feel someone touch my arm. The sweet old lady was handing me something. It was a popo. It’s a fruit here, almost like a mango, but not. She was simply offering me a gift just because. Just because. Humbling. I didn’t dare refuse.

Scovia arrives and we talk about getting started. They ladies wanted to do it right there like last week. I knew it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. I just knew. So, I was pretty clear to Scovia that they would be very distracted, no one would really focus, and it needed to be outside of the main market area so we could actually interact as a group. She agreed. :) I was praying so hard that God would just allow it to all come together; I looked and pointed to a clear area just behind the main market area. Perfect. I’m telling you, I’m praying specifically for things, and then they would happen! I prayed that He would allow it to be a more intimate set up, even so much as a circle. The all grabbed their little stools…and ended up all in a circle. Thank you, Jesus! Everything felt so different than last week. There were a good 10 women focused and invested. Probably 5-8 more on the outskirts of the group listening as well. I thanked them for being there, I welcomed them, and I opened us up in prayer. I explained that we were going to share our stories. I began. Once I finished, I asked who would like to go next. There was literally only a few seconds of silence until one of the ladies raised her hand. We were off. I remember sitting there as I am listening and asking the Lord to please be there with us. Please show up, God. Please, move. Please reveal yourself. My whole body got goose bumps. He was there. I felt Him.

The first story, she was involved in witchcraft. A cross was literally scratched into her back. She ended up going to a church seeking help. She received the Lord, He healed her, she expressed that He is her BEST FRIEND and she clasped her hands together to express how close she is with Him. Beautiful.

Then there was a second story, and then a third. The third story was the sweet older women who gave me the gift. She was so precise when speaking. She knew what she wanted to share. She gave birth to 10 children and 9 of them died while in exile in a refugee camp in Uganda. The only child she has left is a drunk and will often make his way to her home and beat her. She is always in pain physically. She feels like her life is meant for suffering. That being said, she knew Jesus was with her. She knew He loved her. She knew that it is only because of Him that she can find any peace. He is her life. I almost lost it.

Scovia then shared her story and spoke a bit about some Scripture. I knew we weren’t done. I asked if there was anyone else who wanted to share. Silence. Silence. Silence. Then, to my left, I saw a hand go up. This woman had been noticeably listening. She had been making eye contact when anyone was speaking. God had made me aware of this. Her face was emotionless and her eyes seemed full of so much pain. She began her story. She was raised in a Christian home. She went to church and prayed because she knew she was supposed to. In 1994 she got married and it was a huge blessing. In 1995 she gave birth to her first child. At the same time a girl came to live with them to help this woman around her home, etc. Someone this girl became really sick and after a short amount of time died. This woman shared that she was devastated. The girl’s parents blamed this woman, saying it was her fault and because she had taken their daughter they deserved to have hers!! She went on to explain that her husband said no, and didn’t let that happen. She explained that her whole family, even her own mother, turned against her. She said that it wasn’t long after that she became angry and mean. She didn’t care about taking care of her children, she didn’t care about God, she didn’t care about anything. She stated she just didn’t know how God would ever be able to help her……and she broke down. I saw over 15 years of pain and heartache bleeding out in front of me...and the rest of the group. She was curled up; her head under her shall that was in her hands, weeping. I looked up, tears in my eyes, and almost every other person was crying with her. Jesus was there. I wanted to cradle her in my arms. God told me to get up and comfort her. I wasn’t really exactly sure how this would be taken in this culture. To be honest, I haven’t seen many Africans really go deep enough to share their true emotion. They’ve had to survive for so long that emotions are too much to deal with. It’s the same for any human being that’s been through traumatic events and has had to simply survive. But, I knew it was what I was supposed to do. I squatted down next to her and put my arm around her. Betty. Betty is her name. I expressed my love for Betty. I expressed how courageous she was to share. I shared with her the Truth that it is only God who can choose to bring life and take it away, and just how hard it must have been to carry that on her shoulders for so long. I shared Jesus with her. I shared Love. I shared forgiveness and redemption and how God is big enough to take all of her pain. I shared that God is a jealous God, and wants all of her. I almost forgot for a bit that there were 10 or so other women sitting around. All were listening. I was reminded of this when after I would share something with Betty, a gentle “Mmm” would follow it. Agreement. Amens. She cried the entire time. Scovia spoke with her, too. Betty didn’t want to surrender her life to Christ. It was all too much. I could see everything that was shared with her just swirling in her mind. I couldn’t help but smile when the sweet older Mama decided to share something with her, too. She meant serious business!

Now, I knew we were finished for the day. I reminded the group that I would be there every Saturday at noon. I emphasized the importance of commitment to the group if they really wanted to gain much from it. Purposely, to get more participation, I asked if there was anyone who would like to close us in prayer. No one said anything and I just figured I’d try out picking someone. So, I asked the older lady if she would please close us in prayer. She looked at me, looked at those beside her and got this look on her face. Then she said something. Scovia looked at me and told me she had said she didn’t know how to pray. I totally didn’t expect that. So, I smiled and explained to her what prayer was…simply talking to Jesus like she and I had been talking. I went a little further and could tell she was uncomfortable. She took it into her own hands and called a lady over to pray. I laughed. So, this random other lady that was in the market came and closed us with prayer. It was a beautiful, simple, heartfelt prayer….a perfect example.

Finished.

I could have done a cartwheel I was so ecstatic at how well it went!! I never cease to be amazed when He shows up!!

I was walking back home, just a singing to the Lord thanking him for everything. I look to my right and I see the beautiful mountains and trees. Just on the other side of them is Uganda. It really is pretty here. His beauty. I got back to my room and I glanced down and saw the card. My wonderful and thoughtful roommate, Jen, made me note cards for every single day I am here that include a scripture and some personal prayers for me from her! I just love them and wake up each morning excited to see what the card says for the day!! So, I glanced down and for Saturday the scripture was Isaiah 55:12 “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” I got to see this truth in action, beautifully.

I relaxed around the compound the rest of the day and was in my room that evening, reading. The door was open as usual, and up walked Jacqueline and Blessing (both from the vocational school). She greeted me and I was happy to see them! They asked me how things went today. (Remember I had met Jacqueline while I was walking there), so I told them. Then Blessing busts out with, “We are going with you next time!!” Jacqueline looks at her and was like Blessing!! As if to be shocked she got to the point so quick! haha I smiled, and told them they could join me ANY time they wanted to!! They shook my hand, and off they were!! How cool is that?!!! They want to join in! I am in a constant state of being humbled.

This morning was church. I was kinda blah about it today. I don’t really know why. I was the only American there. Everyone else had gone to the first service I assumed. They do things a bit opposite from America here. In America you don’t dare call out the visitors in church because that would draw way to much attention to them and might possibly embarrass them. No way, Jose. Here, they take PRIDE in the new visitors and the new visitors stand up, say who they are, where they come from, and what brought them there! I had already done this 2 weeks ago along with being called to the front to “share a bit” with the church. So, I sat there so thankful that part was over for me, I kind of of wanted to just be at church, not a special guest. Ha. That’s a funny thought. One of the visitors shared that he drank a lot (alcohol), did things against the Lord, and was told last night by the Lord to come to church this morning. He introduced himself as Simon. Of course, my attention is held the second I hear alcohol. I began praying, Lord, do your thing. I know you will. Rapha has been on my heart more the past few days and I have been praying for direction. So, the visitors get done and the pastor then announced how wonderful it is to have the special guest (yes, word for word…ironic? Never.) again….Jessica Page. He goes on to explain that I’m here to work with those who have been drunks and struggle with alcohol and that I will be talking with Simon for 10-20 minutes after the service and anyone else who wants to. I FORCED my eyes not to bugle out! I thought, “Really, God?!! This is what you have in mind?!!” as I smiled and nodded. My God sure does have a sense of humor. I think once He sees that I’m willing to step out in obedience He enjoys giving me a little shove every now and then knowing I can’t say no, that I’ve seen Him show up in the past and have no doubt He will continue to….forever. At the end of the service during the time of prayer and commitment time I was pleading to the Lord to draw Simon to Him…to save him. Simon stood up and walked to the front. I wanted to jump up and down yelling, “YES! YES! YES!” Another brother! Oh, I forgot to mention that in the middle of a daydream about who knows what I was called out from the pastor to read a scripture to the whole congregation. I think some people would literally keel over if that were to happen in church at home. This is Africa. :)

So, we finish, I head out the door, and Simon is walking up to me in his baby blue trousers and jacket set with his neon yellow socks. I love it. Scovia joins (for translation) us and we go to sit down under the tree to talk. He shares his story with me. God spoke to him in a dream last night. God specifically told him to go to First Baptist Wudu in the morning. He listened and came, even with his wife questioning him and telling him she didn’t actually believe he would make it. He’s struggled with drinking for 3 years now, so much so that his children don’t have money for school fees. He begins crying. He is grieved by his sin. He confirmed that he had in fact surrendered his life to Jesus today. He wanted to change. He knew it was possible with Christ. I counseling with him for a while, encouraging him, telling him it would likely be hard, but that nothing was impossible with Christ. I think Scovia and I are going to head to his village to seek out the opportunity to have him start a group there. I’m seeking guidance as to if it’s to specifically be a Rapha group, or an IA2 group…possibly both. We shall see. Will you please pray for this? Pray for Simon. Pray for protection now that he’s choosing Life. The enemy isn’t pleased. Simon said his biggest desire was to share all of this with his wife, to bring her to church next week. He said he wants his whole family to change, to live for Jesus. It’s that beautiful?! I pray it happens, and happens sooner than later!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4