I've never been much of a writer. Really, it's true. I know, you couldn't tell by the mass amounts of blogging, eh? What I HAVE always been much on is talking. :) Ahh that you can agree on! I enjoy people. I enjoy interacting. I enjoy watching them. All of that and more!
If you add all of the above together with the fact that I'm half way around the world from those that I usually share all of the lovely and not so lovely thoughts of mine with (verbally), you get me becoming the writer...who writes a lot.
Please know that I do understand if you are not able to "keep up" with my blogs. It in no way will stop me from keepin' on keepin' on with whatever the Lord allows to flow out these fingers of mine. That being said, I do love knowing that you are able to share in my life with me via words on a screen. It brings me so much joy to share my life with others. I love your responses, comments, and encouragement. It feeds my soul. So, if you feel led, keep 'em coming. :)
I’ve honestly been putting off writing up this blog, not because I don’t have things to share. Lord knows that is not the case, but because as long as it takes you to read these, it takes me longer to write them up! I’m usually putting them together over a few days and then I have to sit down and take the time to put it all together. Some days, I just don’t want to spend the energy doing so. After living it, to write it out is almost to live it again. Some days that’s draining. But, it never ceases to amaze me that when I finally do sit down, out flows what you read.
So, here I am. I’m sitting and the words are flowing. I have a few specific things I want to share with you. First, the IA2 discipleship groups are underway. Some groups have met once, some twice now, and a few are just getting up off the ground. I’m honestly here, there, and everywhere when it comes to these groups. One day I’ll be in the clouds, overjoyed with excitement about how a group went, and some days I’m struggling to maintain a positive attitude. Other days, I experience one right after another! That’s life, isn’t it? Regardless of how I feel, God is moving. He is accomplishing much!
Scovia and I sat down (at her request!!) to “schedule” out the groups. I think she was beginning to realize how chaotic things were…as I was getting used to it all. J So, each village now has their “set” day and I have my “set” schedule. I’ll just go ahead and admit that even if I know it’s not likely that it will actually follow this plan each week it brings me great joy to have sat down and been intentional about it. Here’s to hoping April’s calendar looks far less crazy than this months! (see picture on facebook)
So, before I get to the specific things I want to mention here’s a rolling list of random mentions:
I had my first “spill”, but not really, while riding on the motorbike. Damage: scuffed toenail polish on my big toe. Pretty awful, eh? J I literally praised God for seeing one of the cats being fed some fish the other night. I am picking up the language a *bit* more and had someone actually say a few sentences to me the other day and understood it!! (This does NOT mean I can speak that much) My scrapbook with personal letters and pictures, the notes written to me at my going away party, and my cards with scripture on them from both Jenn and Rach are God sends. Literally. This past Saturday was another HARD day. Oh, those hard days…they turn into bright, new mornings. J I got to enjoy the blessing of taking the Lord’s Supper (their first time) at a new church plant right across the road from me on Sunday. Wani walked in my room today, sat down on the floor next to me, and stared. Then, he picked up a beetle like bug, picked it apart, threw it randomly everywhere, and walked out. I couldn’t help but love every second of it. Boys. I had my fingernail polish out to repaint my toes and in walked Angel. She got her tiny 4 year old nails painted and giggled the whole time. Girls. There is a random person that keeps calling my Sudanese cell phone. Stinks for them when they realize they’ve got a white girl on the other end who doesn’t understand a lick of what they are saying…even if it is English. David Kaya has made the list of funniest people I know. The women here need so much love. The feel of the cool air first thing in the morning riding to the office on the motorbike is bliss. Lying awake at night under the mosquito net fanning myself is not. I do not like one bit that some assume because I have white skin that equates to me being able to give them money. I guess me being white also means I have extra washing soap? The drunken man who showed up on my door step seemed to think so. Funny thing is, I did! J God knew. Laughter heals, so does crying. I do both often here.
KuKu stories, anyone?
Friday night I was headed back across the road to the compound after talking with Mary and I hear my name called out by Peter. So, instead I detoured to headed over to the church that’s right there. He and William and a few other boys were ‘leveling the church grounds’. I hung out with them a bit and played with the kiddos. It was getting dark. On Friday and Saturday nights the disco clubs (dancing and drinking places) BLARE their music. I’m not exaggerating. I fall asleep and it’s as if I have a stereo booming in my room. So, it’s getting dark and I was about to head home and we all look and there is this tiny man stumbling and dancing his way down the road. They all start laughing and tell me he is drunk and is dancing to the music. He mumbles something and they tell me he’s saying he likes the song that’s on. Then, the song stops and changes. He stops, stands there, looks so disappointed, turns to us and starts talking. I’m told he’s saying he’s upset because they stopped playing his song. They start talking to him and I’m thinking, here we go (yet again I hear the all familiar voice saying…be prepared in and out of season..at all times…yes, even when you rather be on your way home)…He starts walking towards us. He was such a sweet older man, John. He brings up Jesus. He shares that he has a hard time seeing. He shares that he is going to stop drinking. He says he is a believer. I just listen and keep encouraging him. I asked if I could pray for him right then. So, I pray for his sight, I pray for the ability to give up drinking, I pray for God’s provision in His life. We got done and he said he was going to come to church on Sunday and stop drinking. He wanted to know if he would see me. So, I told him, yes, I would go to this church and expect to see him! I was skeptical, y’all. Many say this. Many. But, I truly had hoped and prayed he would follow though. I got to church a little late (imagine that!) on Sunday and as you know which church you sneak in and find a seat, not really paying attention to those around you. I walked in and we were praying so I was praying and asking the Lord to please bring John, please lead him to church. I open my eyes and he was sitting right in front of me!!! I squeezed his shoulder and he gave me the sweetest smile. He meant it. He came. Come to find out after church that William had seen him on Saturday evening and John made sure to tell him that he hadn’t drank at all that day and was still coming on Sunday!!! He was fully sober on Sunday morning. Please pray for John. Please pray that through God’s grace he will continue to be sober and continue to seek the Lord!! I just can’t get the picture out of my head of him dancing down the road, literally stopping in his tracks, turning the other direction, and walking towards us. Do you see it?? Do you see the spiritual significance of that? Repentance. Oh, I pray that is truly manifested in his life each day. I pray it’s manifested in my life each day!!
So, do you ever find out about something the Lord has accomplished totally out of your scope of sight and then you are reminded that 1. Where was your faith? 2. God is simply amazing! That was the case for me. I was informed yesterday of something that is just huge, y’all. Ahh! I’m just so excited about it. So remember the other day I shared with you about the first really hard day I had? I was struggling so bad. Well, that day, in the mix of the scheduling I ended up meeting with 3 people later than planned, but the meeting went well. God opened up doors for some serious Truth to be shared regarding one of the man’s struggles with feeling guilty and not good enough to turn back to God after marrying a second wife knowing it wasn’t God’s will. WELL, there was another man there in the building that wasn’t a part of the group, but listened to everything. It turns out his story is almost exactly the same of the man who shared. He took all of the truth and scripture shared and applied it to his life. He then went back to his village, talked to a few people about how hard it is having to travel so far to a church. So, they decided to start their own!! There is a pastor there who has left a certain denomination and they elected him to be their pastor and about 4 or 5 of them have started a Baptist church! THIS IS HUGE!! There I was struggling, just being there but not “fully” there, if you know what I mean, and God was accomplishing far greater things that I could have ever imagined!! Truly, it is not me accomplishing anything, but Him alone!! David reminded me the other night that our job is to preach the Word..share the truth…EVERYTHING else is God’s. It is so true. I am to open my mouth and from that God does miracles. MIRACLES.
I was also humbled beyond words yesterday. That same day, with that same group…there was potential for TONS of people to show up from Wudu. But, like I just said, 3 did. 4 of those TONS were the women I had personally met with in their shop. I mentioned this in a previous blog as well. Monica was one of the ladies. Anyways, they didn’t come. I was so hoping to see them. Well, she comes into the office yesterday. She sits down with Scovia and me and in the most sincere way possible apologizes for not coming. She shared how she was not going to make excuses, that she had to go to a place far away and knew she wouldn’t make it back with the bad weather (it rained hard all that morning). She said that she communicated to the other ladies to go on without her. She said when she got back and realized that NONE of them had come she felt so bad and it pained her to know they had given their word and not come. She kept apologizing. I almost broke down. I was so humbled. I had been frustrated people didn’t come. I had been. And here, in front of me, I have this woman who God was using to remind me that THIS IS LIFE. We are human. Things happen….and that people, even here, CAN feel bad for not following through. I didn’t want her to feel bad, of course, and I told her I forgave her. There was no need to keep apologizing, that I understood and thanked her for being honest and taking her time to come to apologize. It encouraged me more than she will ever know. I think God knew that I needed the confirmation that there were people who intended to follow through with their word. There are people that genuinely feel bad for not doing so. I needed to hear it. The truth is it is hard pouring out and being told time and time again that they will come, and then don’t. I just love how God knows when and how I need things….all so I can continue on in doing His work.
I went out to Kiri market on Friday as well. We were to have our very first group meeting! After sitting for an hour waiting for people to show, we had our meeting and it went really well!! The group meeting though isn’t specifically what I want to share about today though…I want to tell you about Yaba. My very first time out to Kiri I met Yaba, although I didn’t know his name then. I may or may not have mentioned him. It wasn’t hard to notice him. We had finished up and were standing around our motorbike saying bye to people and I saw him amongst the people. Then, the next thing I know he came up to me, grabbed my hand, and started saying something to me. It was hard to understand him; not because of the language but because his speech isn’t well. I could tell that Yaba had special needs. Then, as he kept squeezing my hand harder, and harder, I picked up that he was telling me to give him money! He was very set on this. There were other boys laughing in the background and I just kept saying, “I don’t have money. Please let go.” He was insistent on both asking for money and ensuring I wasn’t going anywhere by his grip. Ya know, my first instinct was to be a little anxious, simply because I had no idea what was about to happen. I didn’t know if he was violent, and by the grip he had on my hand and wrist, I wondered. But, looking into his face, I knew there was nothing to be scared of. So, I pulled my hand away and said so sorry, and got on the bike and off we went. I asked Scovia about him, and she said he always asks for money. She didn’t know much else about him. I prayed for him, and couldn’t seem to get him out of my mind. So, we go back to Kiri this past Friday and upon pulling up there’s Yaba. As we were waiting for people to show up I found myself watching Yaba. I don’t know that he had noticed me, or he would have been over by my side right then. It’s almost as if he wasn’t a part of everything, but watching, too. He was in his own world. I could feel my heart breaking right there, watching him. He was filthy, drool pouring out of his mouth. He had sweat pants on, the bottom of them covering over his feet so he stepped on his pants when he walked, pulling them down; so he would have to pull them up in the midst of his gate, sometimes after they had already fallen past his rear. I watched him wonder. I watched it all, asking the Lord what His will was. Did I have a role in Yaba’s life? A few people for the group showed up and came over and he noticed me. He came walking over and immediately they started telling him to go, in their own language. He kept coming and they got a switch and literally ran him off. He ran, the only way he knew how, making a very loud crying/screaming noise. I almost couldn’t stand it. Lord, is that a reaction? Is he really that upset? You created him, you know him. You know what he is and isn’t capable of. Lord, I want Him to know you. How is this going to happen? Is it even what you want of me? So, for a little while he stayed at a distance. Then, as someone was sharing their story, he made his way around a different way to where I knew he was about to be right behind me. One of the ladies noticed, and the same happened again. No one else made much of it at all, but I’m telling you, it was hard on me. He was literally run off. Now, please don’t get from this that I think what they are doing is necessarily wrong. They know him. It is their culture. That is something that I just have to accept. But, there was more. There was just something else tugging at me. Yaba came for the third time, and I saw him coming. I whispered to the lady that he could stay and sit and listen if he would. Maybe he was supposed to hear what we were talking about! Maybe that’s how God wanted to reach him! So, he came and she motioned for him to sit…and he did. He sat there quietly for the rest of the time on the muddy ground about 6 feet or so from me. My translator was sharing his story and it was all in KuKu so I was able to just pray for Yaba as I was watching him. He played in the mud, digging up the coke tops with his fingers that had been mushed into the mud…one…by….one…He looked up and me and we just stared at each other. I have no idea what he can or can’t understand. I have no idea if he took anything away from what he heard. But, I do believe that with Jesus anything is possible. So I hope that he took away far greater than I could ever imagine. We finished and everyone got up to say goodbye and such. I took the groups picture and then I asked the lady next to me what his name was. She didn’t even know. Ugh. So I ask the other lady and that’s why she told me his name was Yaba. I asked her where he lives. She told me he sleeps wherever he can, he has no home. So, I ask well, who takes care of him?? No one. How does he eat? He eats whatever he can find. It all clicked. He wants money. He wants money for food. So he can survive. I’m a mess just sitting here typing this. Do you see? His grip on my hand wasn’t one meant to harm, but of desperation. It’s all he knows to do, beg. Survive. I saw him making his way towards me. I was obvious the group members were trying to prevent him from coming straight up to me. He kept saying something over and over. We were walking to leave, and I stopped. I asked my translator what he was saying to me. So, he listened and said, “He wants his picture taken, too.” So, I told him that I could do!! I couldn’t give me a copy, as most ask, but I could take it and show him. I asked if that would be wise. So, my translator said sure! So, I hold up my camera and I’m telling you the biggest smile came across Yaba’s face. Huge. It blessed me so much. He was SO EXCITED to have his picture taken. I took two and showed him. He was giddy. That was it. That was what he wanted. I can’t do a whole lot, but I CAN take his picture.
The ride home I had so many things floating through my mind. So many scriptures.
James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
Proverbs 19:17 “He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done.”
Proverbs 31:20 “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”
Psalm 139: 13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
I got back and shared this with Scovia and she looked at me and said, “Jessica, he is a true beggar. He has nothing.”
I find comfort in the Truth of God’s Word. I rest in His promises. It’s the only way I can truly be at peace. Jesus loves Yaba. For all I know, Yaba may know that Jesus loves him! Will you please join me in prayer for him? Pray also for me, that I will be open to obeying WHATEVER Jesus tells me to do regarding Yaba. I will go back to Kiri every Friday, so I have no doubt I will also see Yaba every Friday. Oh, for the grace to hear and then do.
Also, a couple other prayer requests: Blessing, a sweet young lady in the vocational school group has Typhoid, Jacqueline, another young lady in the same group had to go to the doctor because of chest pains, and Ayama, one of the young boys here at the compound stayed home yesterday from school because he was having bad headaches. He said he has malaria.
Thank you for standing with me.
Jess
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