Coke Tops in the Mud

I've never been much of a writer.  Really, it's true.  I know, you couldn't tell by the mass amounts of blogging, eh?  What I HAVE always been much on is talking.  :) Ahh that you can agree on! I enjoy people.  I enjoy interacting. I enjoy watching them. All of that and more!

If you add all of the above together with the fact that I'm half way around the world from those that I usually share all of the lovely and not so lovely thoughts of mine with (verbally), you get me becoming the writer...who writes a lot. 

Please know that I do understand if you are not able to "keep up" with my blogs.  It in no way will stop me from keepin' on keepin' on with whatever the Lord allows to flow out these fingers of mine.  That being said, I do love knowing that you are able to share in my life with me via words on a screen.  It brings me so much joy to share my life with others.  I love your responses, comments, and encouragement.  It feeds my soul. So, if you feel led, keep 'em coming. :)

I’ve honestly been putting off writing up this blog, not because I don’t have things to share.  Lord knows that is not the case, but because as long as it takes you to read these, it takes me longer to write them up! I’m usually putting them together over a few days and then I have to sit down and take the time to put it all together.  Some days, I just don’t want to spend the energy doing so.  After living it, to write it out is almost to live it again.  Some days that’s draining. But, it never ceases to amaze me that when I finally do sit down, out flows what you read.

So, here I am.  I’m sitting and the words are flowing. I have a few specific things I want to share with you.  First, the IA2 discipleship groups are underway.  Some groups have met once, some twice now, and a few are just getting up off the ground. I’m honestly here, there, and everywhere when it comes to these groups.  One day I’ll be in the clouds, overjoyed with excitement about how a group went, and some days I’m struggling to maintain a positive attitude.  Other days, I experience one right after another!  That’s life, isn’t it? Regardless of how I feel, God is moving. He is accomplishing much!

Scovia and I sat down (at her request!!) to “schedule” out the groups.  I think she was beginning to realize how chaotic things were…as I was getting used to it all. J  So, each village now has their “set” day and I have my “set” schedule.  I’ll just go ahead and admit that even if I know it’s not likely that it will actually follow this plan each week it brings me great joy to have sat down and been intentional about it.  Here’s to hoping April’s calendar looks far less crazy than this months! (see picture on facebook)

So, before I get to the specific things I want to mention here’s a rolling list of random mentions:

I had my first “spill”, but not really, while riding on the motorbike.  Damage: scuffed toenail polish on my big toe.  Pretty awful, eh? J I literally praised God for seeing one of the cats being fed some fish the other night.  I am picking up the language a *bit* more and had someone actually say a few sentences to me the other day and understood it!! (This does NOT mean I can speak that much) My scrapbook with personal letters and pictures, the notes written to me at my going away party, and my cards with scripture on them from both Jenn and Rach are God sends.  Literally. This past Saturday was another HARD day.  Oh, those hard days…they turn into bright, new mornings. J I got to enjoy the blessing of taking the Lord’s Supper (their first time) at a new church plant right across the road from me on Sunday.  Wani walked in my room today, sat down on the floor next to me, and stared.  Then, he picked up a beetle like bug, picked it apart, threw it randomly everywhere, and walked out.  I couldn’t help but love every second of it. Boys. I had my fingernail polish out to repaint my toes and in walked Angel. She got her tiny 4 year old nails painted and giggled the whole time. Girls. There is a random person that keeps calling my Sudanese cell phone.  Stinks for them when they realize they’ve got a white girl on the other end who doesn’t understand a lick of what they are saying…even if it is English.  David Kaya has made the list of funniest people I know.  The women here need so much love.  The feel of the cool air first thing in the morning riding to the office on the motorbike is bliss.  Lying awake at night under the mosquito net fanning myself is not.  I do not like one bit that some assume because I have white skin that equates to me being able to give them money.  I guess me being white also means I have extra washing soap?  The drunken man who showed up on my door step seemed to think so.  Funny thing is, I did! J God knew.  Laughter heals, so does crying. I do both often here.

KuKu stories, anyone?

Friday night I was headed back across the road to the compound after talking with Mary and I hear my name called out by Peter.  So, instead I detoured to headed over to the church that’s right there.  He and William and a few other boys were ‘leveling the church grounds’.  I hung out with them a bit and played with the kiddos.  It was getting dark.  On Friday and Saturday nights the disco clubs (dancing and drinking places) BLARE their music.  I’m not exaggerating.  I fall asleep and it’s as if I have a stereo booming in my room.  So, it’s getting dark and I was about to head home and we all look and there is this tiny man stumbling and dancing his way down the road.  They all start laughing and tell me he is drunk and is dancing to the music. He mumbles something and they tell me he’s saying he likes the song that’s on.  Then, the song stops and changes.  He stops, stands there, looks so disappointed, turns to us and starts talking. I’m told he’s saying he’s upset because they stopped playing his song.  They start talking to him and I’m thinking, here we go (yet again I hear the all familiar voice saying…be prepared in and out of season..at all times…yes, even when you rather be on your way home)…He starts walking towards us.  He was such a sweet older man, John. He brings up Jesus.  He shares that he has a hard time seeing.  He shares that he is going to stop drinking.  He says he is a believer.  I just listen and keep encouraging him.  I asked if I could pray for him right then.  So, I pray for his sight, I pray for the ability to give up drinking, I pray for God’s provision in His life.  We got done and he said he was going to come to church on Sunday and stop drinking.  He wanted to know if he would see me.  So, I told him, yes, I would go to this church and expect to see him!  I was skeptical, y’all. Many say this.  Many.  But, I truly had hoped and prayed he would follow though.  I got to church a little late (imagine that!) on Sunday and as you know which church you sneak in and find a seat, not really paying attention to those around you.  I walked in and we were praying so I was praying and asking the Lord to please bring John, please lead him to church.  I open my eyes and he was sitting right in front of me!!!  I squeezed his shoulder and he gave me the sweetest smile.  He meant it.  He came.  Come to find out after church that William had seen him on Saturday evening and John made sure to tell him that he hadn’t drank at all that day and was still coming on Sunday!!! He was fully sober on Sunday morning.  Please pray for John.  Please pray that through God’s grace he will continue to be sober and continue to seek the Lord!!  I just can’t get the picture out of my head of him dancing down the road, literally stopping in his tracks, turning the other direction, and walking towards us.  Do you see it?? Do you see the spiritual significance of that?  Repentance.  Oh, I pray that is truly manifested in his life each day.  I pray it’s manifested in my life each day!!

So, do you ever find out about something the Lord has accomplished totally out of your scope of sight and then you are reminded that 1. Where was your faith?  2. God is simply amazing! That was the case for me.  I was informed yesterday of something that is just huge, y’all.  Ahh! I’m just so excited about it. So remember the other day I shared with you about the first really hard day I had? I was struggling so bad.  Well, that day, in the mix of the scheduling I ended up meeting with 3 people later than planned, but the meeting went well.  God opened up doors for some serious Truth to be shared regarding one of the man’s struggles with feeling guilty and not good enough to turn back to God after marrying a second wife knowing it wasn’t God’s will. WELL, there was another man there in the building that wasn’t a part of the group, but listened to everything.  It turns out his story is almost exactly the same of the man who shared.  He took all of the truth and scripture shared and applied it to his life.  He then went back to his village, talked to a few people about how hard it is having to travel so far to a church.  So, they decided to start their own!!  There is a pastor there who has left a certain denomination and they elected him to be their pastor and about 4 or 5 of them have started a Baptist church! THIS IS HUGE!! There I was struggling, just being there but not “fully” there, if you know what I mean, and God was accomplishing far greater things that I could have ever imagined!! Truly, it is not me accomplishing anything, but Him alone!! David reminded me the other night that our job is to preach the Word..share the truth…EVERYTHING else is God’s.  It is so true.  I am to open my mouth and from that God does miracles.  MIRACLES.

I was also humbled beyond words yesterday.  That same day, with that same group…there was potential for TONS of people to show up from Wudu.  But, like I just said, 3 did.   4 of those TONS were the women I had personally met with in their shop.  I mentioned this in a previous blog as well. Monica was one of the ladies. Anyways, they didn’t come.  I was so hoping to see them.  Well, she comes into the office yesterday.  She sits down with Scovia and me and in the most sincere way possible apologizes for not coming. She shared how she was not going to make excuses, that she had to go to a place far away and knew she wouldn’t make it back with the bad weather (it rained hard all that morning).  She said that she communicated to the other ladies to go on without her.  She said when she got back and realized that NONE of them had come she felt so bad and it pained her to know they had given their word and not come.  She kept apologizing.  I almost broke down.  I was so humbled.  I had been frustrated people didn’t come.  I had been.  And here, in front of me, I have this woman who God was using to remind me that THIS IS LIFE.  We are human.  Things happen….and that people, even here, CAN feel bad for not following through.  I didn’t want her to feel bad, of course, and I told her I forgave her.  There was no need to keep apologizing, that I understood and thanked her for being honest and taking her time to come to apologize.  It encouraged me more than she will ever know.  I think God knew that I needed the confirmation that there were people who intended to follow through with their word.  There are people that genuinely feel bad for not doing so.  I needed to hear it.  The truth is it is hard pouring out and being told time and time again that they will come, and then don’t.  I just love how God knows when and how I need things….all so I can continue on in doing His work.

I went out to Kiri market on Friday as well.  We were to have our very first group meeting! After sitting for an hour waiting for people to show, we had our meeting and it went really well!! The group meeting though isn’t specifically what I want to share about today though…I want to tell you about Yaba.  My very first time out to Kiri I met Yaba, although I didn’t know his name then.  I may or may not have mentioned him. It wasn’t hard to notice him.  We had finished up and were standing around our motorbike saying bye to people and I saw him amongst the people.  Then, the next thing I know he came up to me, grabbed my hand, and started saying something to me.  It was hard to understand him; not because of the language but because his speech isn’t well.  I could tell that Yaba had special needs.  Then, as he kept squeezing my hand harder, and harder, I picked up that he was telling me to give him money! He was very set on this.  There were other boys laughing in the background and I just kept saying, “I don’t have money. Please let go.” He was insistent on both asking for money and ensuring I wasn’t going anywhere by his grip.  Ya know, my first instinct was to be a little anxious, simply because I had no idea what was about to happen.  I didn’t know if he was violent, and by the grip he had on my hand and wrist, I wondered.  But, looking into his face, I knew there was nothing to be scared of.  So, I pulled my hand away and said so sorry, and got on the bike and off we went.  I asked Scovia about him, and she said he always asks for money.  She didn’t know much else about him.  I prayed for him, and couldn’t seem to get him out of my mind.  So, we go back to Kiri this past Friday and upon pulling up there’s Yaba.  As we were waiting for people to show up I found myself watching Yaba.  I don’t know that he had noticed me, or he would have been over by my side right then.  It’s almost as if he wasn’t a part of everything, but watching, too.  He was in his own world.  I could feel my heart breaking right there, watching him.  He was filthy, drool pouring out of his mouth.  He had sweat pants on, the bottom of them covering over his feet so he stepped on his pants when he walked, pulling them down; so he would have to pull them up in the midst of his gate, sometimes after they had already fallen past his rear. I watched him wonder.  I watched it all, asking the Lord what His will was.  Did I have a role in Yaba’s life?  A few people for the group showed up and came over and he noticed me.  He came walking over and immediately they started telling him to go, in their own language.  He kept coming and they got a switch and literally ran him off.  He ran, the only way he knew how, making a very loud crying/screaming noise.  I almost couldn’t stand it.  Lord, is that a reaction? Is he really that upset? You created him, you know him.  You know what he is and isn’t capable of.  Lord, I want Him to know you.  How is this going to happen? Is it even what you want of me? So, for a little while he stayed at a distance.  Then, as someone was sharing their story, he made his way around a different way to where I knew he was about to be right behind me. One of the ladies noticed, and the same happened again.  No one else made much of it at all, but I’m telling you, it was hard on me. He was literally run off.  Now, please don’t get from this that I think what they are doing is necessarily wrong.  They know him.  It is their culture. That is something that I just have to accept.  But, there was more.  There was just something else tugging at me.  Yaba came for the third time, and I saw him coming.  I whispered to the lady that he could stay and sit and listen if he would.  Maybe he was supposed to hear what we were talking about! Maybe that’s how God wanted to reach him! So, he came and she motioned for him to sit…and he did.  He sat there quietly for the rest of the time on the muddy ground about 6 feet or so from me.  My translator was sharing his story and it was all in KuKu so I was able to just pray for Yaba as I was watching him.  He played in the mud, digging up the coke tops with his fingers that had been mushed into the mud…one…by….one…He looked up and me and we just stared at each other.  I have no idea what he can or can’t understand.  I have no idea if he took anything away from what he heard.  But, I do believe that with Jesus anything is possible.  So I hope that he took away far greater than I could ever imagine.  We finished and everyone got up to say goodbye and such.  I took the groups picture and then I asked the lady next to me what his name was.  She didn’t even know.  Ugh.  So I ask the other lady and that’s why she told me his name was Yaba.  I asked her where he lives.  She told me he sleeps wherever he can, he has no home.  So, I ask well, who takes care of him??  No one.  How does he eat? He eats whatever he can find.  It all clicked. He wants money.  He wants money for food.  So he can survive.  I’m a mess just sitting here typing this.  Do you see?  His grip on my hand wasn’t one meant to harm, but of desperation.  It’s all he knows to do, beg. Survive.  I saw him making his way towards me.  I was obvious the group members were trying to prevent him from coming straight up to me.  He kept saying something over and over.  We were walking to leave, and I stopped.  I asked my translator what he was saying to me.  So, he listened and said, “He wants his picture taken, too.” So, I told him that I could do!! I couldn’t give me a copy, as most ask, but I could take it and show him. I asked if that would be wise.  So, my translator said sure!  So, I hold up my camera and I’m telling you the biggest smile came across Yaba’s face.  Huge.  It blessed me so much.  He was SO EXCITED to have his picture taken.  I took two and showed him.  He was giddy.  That was it.  That was what he wanted.  I can’t do a whole lot, but I CAN take his picture.

The ride home I had so many things floating through my mind.  So many scriptures.

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Proverbs 19:17 “He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done.”

Proverbs 31:20 “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

Psalm 139: 13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

I got back and shared this with Scovia and she looked at me and said, “Jessica, he is a true beggar. He has nothing.” 

I find comfort in the Truth of God’s Word.  I rest in His promises.  It’s the only way I can truly be at peace.  Jesus loves Yaba.  For all I know, Yaba may know that Jesus loves him! Will you please join me in prayer for him? Pray also for me, that I will be open to obeying WHATEVER Jesus tells me to do regarding Yaba.  I will go back to Kiri every Friday, so I have no doubt I will also see Yaba every Friday.  Oh, for the grace to hear and then do. 

Also, a couple other prayer requests: Blessing, a sweet young lady in the vocational school group has Typhoid, Jacqueline, another young lady in the same group had to go to the doctor because of chest pains, and Ayama, one of the young boys here at the compound stayed home yesterday from school because he was having bad headaches.  He said he has malaria.   

Thank you for standing with me.

Jess

The bigger picture...

So, let's step back for a second and see the bigger picture, shall we?

Click here and allow a few seconds to load:

http://www.porelamor.org/files/2011Q1SudanNewsLetter.pdf

(MUCH thanks to my friend Erik for doing what I can't, and making it a link so I could share! :) )


I am so blessed to be a part of such a wonderful ministry!!

Blessings,
Jess

oNe MonTh

One month.

Can you remember what you did one month ago today? I hugged and kissed my family and friends (and cat and dogsJ) goodbye and boarded a plane. It was so hard. It was exciting. It was freeing. It was a literal step of faith. I was overwhelmed with all of the possibilities and still so, so certain I was doing exactly what God wanted.

I can still remember the night I heard Him tell me I was going to Sudan like it was yesterday. Life seemed a bit chaotic with lots of changes at work. Nothing was for sure. My position was ending and I still had no idea what my new one would be, if there would be one. I walked into my room one evening. I got out the sheet of paper that I had felt led to write out the night before. It was a literal list of options…possibilities. The very last option at the bottom of the sheet was long(er) term missions in Africa. I stood there in the middle of my room, looked down at my paper, and began praying. Within seconds I was weeping. I was taken aback. Why was I crying like this, Lord? You, my child, are grieving all of the things you are going to be leaving, He told me. I knew right then. I was going to Africa for an amount of time I didn’t quite know then, but knew it was longer than my 2 week trips in the past. Boy, did I grieve.

I sit here now, one month into this journey He has set out before me. Most days I still get hit with the fact that I live here, in Sudan. It’s still surreal. I wonder if that will eventually wear off. I feel like I’ve been here longer than a month to tell the truth. One day can hold so much that it seems to be enough for a whole week! Time isn’t really the same here. When you don’t have the meticulous schedule, it all just flows.

I’ve learned so much, yet know it’s nothing compared to what is ahead. I’m being broken. It’s a beautiful mess. Have you ever known the privilege to hurt as He hurts for his people? It’s ridiculously painful and sanctifying. It forces me to my knees calling out to the only One who can comfort, heal, change, save.

I’m trying to patiently learn what it looks like to simply dwell in His presence. To be fully satisfied being still. To fully be “His gal” as I was gently reminded not to overlook by a sweet friend of mine. There are so many things I’m still trying to figure out and learn. By His grace I trust He will teach me.

Today I went to Jalimo village for the first time. It’s a 30 minute ride out there on a motor bike. I really do enjoy the rides out to the villages (most of the ride, anyways). I’ve always loved riding with my dad on his motorcycle. There’s just something freeing about the wind in your face. Of course, there’s added dynamics to riding a little motor bike in Sudan on the gravel roads (if you’re lucky) or more likely, the obstacle course that is known as Africa. I was also made very aware of the fact that bugs hitting your face while going a decent speed feels alllllllmost the same as getting a shot with a beebee. I had the privilege of experiencing that a few times. I suppose I should be thankful, it’s likely I got the good end of the interaction between myself and the bugs. J I find myself just taking in the scenery on the journey. I’m working up the guts to actually have my camera around my neck and snap a few shots while in motion. Until then, my eyelids are my camera. Trust me; I take hundreds of pictures along the way. It’s one of those things that you just want to share with those you love.

About half way through the ride, I was praying and had a sweet reminder of God’s presence. When I go on motorcycle rides with my dad he will reach back and squeeze or pat my knee affectionately. I’ve always taken it as his way of reminding me he loves me and is glad I’m there with him. It’s one of those small things that mean a lot. It’s as if my Abba did that today for me. Just a sweet little reminder that He loves me and is glad I was there.

Things went well in Jalimo and the clients there were introduced to the IA2 groups. They want me to come back on Thursday to begin the group. Oh, and this is totally random, but I had to laugh at myself because of it. One of the ladies in Jalimo today was pregnant, beautifully so. You can tell she is due any time now. Bless her heart; you could see how uncomfortable she was. I thought to myself as I was off in lala land because Scovia was discussing things in KuKu and I have about an hour to myself sitting there in front of everyone…I would LOVE it if she went into labor right NOW!! I’ve seen many births in the states (because of my previous job), but not one in AFRICA! I’ll be honest; I played it all out in my head. It would have been awesome. I know, random.

Okay, so do you want in on something?........I’m human. AHH!

I was reminded of that loud and clear yesterday. Yesterday was the first day I can honestly say was all in all hard for me. Now, before I go on. Please understand something. When I say it was hard for me that does not necessarily mean it was a bad day. It FELT like a bad day, but even in my frustrations I know that those days are often the ones I am stretched to rely even more so on Him. So, that being said, outside of my emotions and how it felt, it was actually a wonderful day of growth. (Isn’t it funny how God works that way? I so desperately want growth for those I’m serving and He’s accomplishing just that in me!)

The honest to goodness truth is though there was many times I just wanted to go away. I know myself. I know when I get to a certain point it’s really hard for me to get in the right mindset. Lord knows I wear every last bit of emotion on my sleeve (further proven when at least 3 people at the office asked if I was tired or missing my ‘mommy’), so it’s not like I could do even a fair job of brushing it to the side. Boy, I sure did try though! I pretty much forced myself not to cry on and off all day. That is a task in and of itself for me!

I kept trying to ask myself WHY I was annoyed. WHY did I want to cry? Why? What’s the root of all this?

There were many answers, but after spending some much needed time alone (ironically in the middle of my room…crying, where it all began) with the Lord I came to a couple main ones.

1. I am impatient. Yeah, that didn’t feel good.

2. I feel like a broken record. Not heard. Not understood. Replaying over and over and over.

I want to see results. I want these groups to form, for there to be consistency, accountability, for those participating to be thoroughly blessed by them and in turn to GROW! Those are amazing hopes and goals, yet I find myself getting wrapped up in reaching a goal, that I think I’m risking overlooking the process in getting there. I’m trying to find the balance.

I found myself yesterday realizing that since I’ve been here, I have been tirelessly repeating the same thing over and over and over in each attempt to meet with a group. I’ve yet to have the same group of people meeting twice. I was annoyed that I felt like I was just saying words over and over again, and starting to feel that I’m not even really expressing my heart. It’s hard when you keep at something, just hoping for an inkling of anything that shows you they “get” it.

For the first time I had the thought, what if I get back to the states and there’s no evidence that anything has been accomplished?! Immediately, I knew that thought was not of God. First off, this…any of this… has nothing to do with me!! Second, what a statement full of fear and NOT of the God I serve!

It was just a constant battle in my head yesterday. Back and forth.

So hard. Stretching. Necessary for growth.

Would you please pray that I will be refreshed with an abundance of joy? Pray that I will be given a determined spirit, not for anything of myself, but for the works of the Lord to be accomplished in and through me. Please pray that God will continue to work on the hearts of those He wants to touch through these discipleship groups. Please pray that ANY selfishness or agenda that I may have will be replaced with a completely understanding and patient spirit as I am guided by the Holy Spirit. Please pray that I will continue to choose Truth over any lies or emotions the enemy wants me to believe.

Today’s post is a bit raw. All of the above being said, I am still so enormously grateful that I get to do this. I get to serve the Lord in a place that He gave me a passion for. It is an enormous privilege, one that I am constantly thanking Him for. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. I am so thankful for each and every one of you and feel the abundance of prayers often!! God has used YOU as a means to help make all of this happen. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I will now leave you with a lesson learned from Sudan: jumping up and down to pump the water rather than not, is the way to go. From day one I watched how the women and children pumped the water. They didn’t just move the lever up and down, but literally used their whole body and jumped up and down. I get it now. Once the team left, I went to pump my own water for my room. I did 3 jerry cans full before Alice came to me and took the lever from me, saying, “You are tired!” I looked at her; I had thought I was doing pretty well!!! Haha So, I just let her. There’s not much arguing when they step in and serve you. So, a few days ago I needed to fill up my jerry cans again. I have 6 of them that I keep in the bathroom for when I bathe, wash my hair, and fill the tank to flush the toilet. I line them up like they do along the well. A few of the kiddos were at the well. (There’s always someone there) I can’t do much around here, but I CAN help pump their water!! So, I pumped 2 or 3 Jerry can’s full of the kiddo’s water for them. Each Jerry Can is 10 liters. It takes quite a bit of pumping to get one full. I felt good though! I was proud of myself. So, I kept going with mine. I did 3 more and I was feeling it. My arms were wanting nothing more to do with it! Haha So, I thought….hmmm, with the risk of looking silly I’m going to try and jump. IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER! I mean, it’s simple logic, but I’m stubborn. I was able to use my body weight instead of just my arms! J I pumped all but one of my cans, and Alice came over and started laughing. I was beet red and sweating like a man. No lie. She looked at me and took over. Once she and I had lugged the cans to my room (they are heavy, I might rethink my goal of trying to carry it on my head by the time I leave) I felt like I had a full work out!! Seriously. Oh, the joys of Africa…. :)

Beauty in Brokenness

Hi! I’m really excited about this post….ready??

Things are going to start getting pretty busy. I’m ready!  All but one of the 5 targeted villages has been educated simply on what IA2 is and what exactly is involved in the discipleship groups. They have all also relayed back to us what days and times would work best for them to start meeting! In addition to those 5, we’ve decided to add one more, since they specifically asked us to come once they heard about it! So, 6 of the 7 loan group locations will be starting discipleship! Plus, the SE staff will begin a group as well as a separate group with the SE vocational students! In addition to that, there might be some “other” locations not associated with SE at all that I might venture to! I’ll tell you more about that later. Oh, and it’s been mentioned that we might start discipleship groups in the secondary school. So, we shall see.

So, if all goes as planned (ha!), here’s what this coming week will look like:
Monday:
Noon-1: IA2 with Vocational Students
1:30 – (these usually last the whole afternoon once you travel there, wait, wait, wait, get started, visit, and head back):IA2 Wudu (this is the largest group and am praying for discernment on how to handle the large numbers if the Lord decides to send them…this is the one that Moses from the Market place would be at, the 4 ladies I talked to the other day at the market, and the gentlemen I talked to who thought my name was Monica!)
Tuesday:
11 Educational Seminar in Jalimo (pretty far away) and the first IA2 group meeting. We decided to go ahead and jump in since they have already been informed by word of mouth and to prevent a huge lapse in time before hearing back from them as to when they would like to start.
IA2 with Vocational Students depending on time with Jalimo
Wednesday:
12-1: IA2 with Vocational Students
Thursday:
11 IA2 in Mondikolok (this is the village we decided to add last minute…will be my first time there!)
Friday:
8: IA2 with SE Staff
12 IA2 with Vocational Students
2 IA2 in Kiri Village
Saturday:
12 IA2 in Leikor Market
Sunday:
9 Church!
Rest? :) (Good chance I’ll be venturing out to a different village not too far to talk about starting a group (MAYBE Rapha group) after church sometime.

Exciting stuff, huh?! :)

So, I feel like a beauty pageant contestant with a full audience of children!! It’s so true! I’ve got the wave DOWN! It’s odd, because it just started when I began riding with Scovia on the motorbike everywhere this past week, but it seems like that kicked off every single child yelling, no matter how far they are from me, “Gelatat!! Gelatot!!! Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!! How are youuuuuuuu?!!!! Byyeeeeeeeeeeee!!” I smile, wave, respond, to which they bust out in laughter, shrieking, and giddy excitement. Gelatot. White person. Scovia told me it literally means clear skin, pure and white, without blemish. She said she loves hearing it, that it’s a positive thing. Think about that. She told me that as we were driving somewhere and I just sat there taking it in. Now, every single time I hear it, (and I hear it a lot, a whole lot) it’s as if God is reminding me how I am to be, how He sees me not because that’s who I am on my own, but because of His blood and cleansing power. Pure, without blemish. That precisely what I have been studying!!!...how as the Bride of Christ I am to be pure and holy and without blemish. How cool is our God to tie it all together??

Saturday. Saturday was the second time I was to meet in Leikor Market. I had been praying for the Lord to really do a work there this week. I had a bit of a negative attitude about last week’s meeting. It was just chaotic. That being said, God can use chaos in a heartbeat, and I fully trust He did. I just was begging the Lord for wisdom and discernment in how to make it “work” better. I prayed that He would bring the specific people he wanted there and to give them a desire to focus, participate, be all in. I knew He wanted me to start again at square one. He wanted me to make this meeting about getting to know each other’s stories.

So, Scovia calls and says she’s running a little late, so I told her I’d walk over there and meet her at the Market. I just couldn’t keep a smile off my face as I’m walking down the orange dirt road, my Bible in hand, behind a group of women with things piled high on their head. I mean, I stick out like a sore thumb, y’all!!! I was SO the white, Bible thumping gal, walking down the African road…and I LOVED IT! :) As I’m walking, I notice a gal from the vocational school. It’s not hard to miss her; she has to be 6’4, a whole head taller than most anyone. She is stunningly beautiful. She looked at me and with a puzzled look on her face asked where I was headed. So, I tell her the market. So was she! (Yet again, such a joy in KNOWING people) So, Jacqueline and I chatted and finished our walk to the market. I got there and Scovia hadn’t arrived yet. I figured this would be the case and fully expected to have a few awkward minutes of not being able to really converse with anyone and just stare at each other. I sweet older lady starts to just talk away to me as if I know every word she is saying. Funny thing is, I knew the jist of it. She was telling me about all of her physical pains. She had pounding pain in her back, her chest. Her legs ached. She felt weak. Amazing how communication is still possible without me knowing one actual word she was saying. They got me a stool, and I sat down right in the middle of the isle and the women in the market. I knew they were all talking about me. I was trying to just guess what they were saying. I know for a fact at one point they were talking about my tattoo on my foot. They tried SO hard not to stare at it, so I went ahead and just stuck my foot at to make it easier on them. :) My tattoo, it sure is a conversation piece here. Maybe I’ll talk about that some other time. I’m sitting there, praying, they are all chatting, and then I feel someone touch my arm. The sweet old lady was handing me something. It was a popo. It’s a fruit here, almost like a mango, but not. She was simply offering me a gift just because. Just because. Humbling. I didn’t dare refuse.

Scovia arrives and we talk about getting started. They ladies wanted to do it right there like last week. I knew it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. I just knew. So, I was pretty clear to Scovia that they would be very distracted, no one would really focus, and it needed to be outside of the main market area so we could actually interact as a group. She agreed. :) I was praying so hard that God would just allow it to all come together; I looked and pointed to a clear area just behind the main market area. Perfect. I’m telling you, I’m praying specifically for things, and then they would happen! I prayed that He would allow it to be a more intimate set up, even so much as a circle. The all grabbed their little stools…and ended up all in a circle. Thank you, Jesus! Everything felt so different than last week. There were a good 10 women focused and invested. Probably 5-8 more on the outskirts of the group listening as well. I thanked them for being there, I welcomed them, and I opened us up in prayer. I explained that we were going to share our stories. I began. Once I finished, I asked who would like to go next. There was literally only a few seconds of silence until one of the ladies raised her hand. We were off. I remember sitting there as I am listening and asking the Lord to please be there with us. Please show up, God. Please, move. Please reveal yourself. My whole body got goose bumps. He was there. I felt Him.

The first story, she was involved in witchcraft. A cross was literally scratched into her back. She ended up going to a church seeking help. She received the Lord, He healed her, she expressed that He is her BEST FRIEND and she clasped her hands together to express how close she is with Him. Beautiful.

Then there was a second story, and then a third. The third story was the sweet older women who gave me the gift. She was so precise when speaking. She knew what she wanted to share. She gave birth to 10 children and 9 of them died while in exile in a refugee camp in Uganda. The only child she has left is a drunk and will often make his way to her home and beat her. She is always in pain physically. She feels like her life is meant for suffering. That being said, she knew Jesus was with her. She knew He loved her. She knew that it is only because of Him that she can find any peace. He is her life. I almost lost it.

Scovia then shared her story and spoke a bit about some Scripture. I knew we weren’t done. I asked if there was anyone else who wanted to share. Silence. Silence. Silence. Then, to my left, I saw a hand go up. This woman had been noticeably listening. She had been making eye contact when anyone was speaking. God had made me aware of this. Her face was emotionless and her eyes seemed full of so much pain. She began her story. She was raised in a Christian home. She went to church and prayed because she knew she was supposed to. In 1994 she got married and it was a huge blessing. In 1995 she gave birth to her first child. At the same time a girl came to live with them to help this woman around her home, etc. Someone this girl became really sick and after a short amount of time died. This woman shared that she was devastated. The girl’s parents blamed this woman, saying it was her fault and because she had taken their daughter they deserved to have hers!! She went on to explain that her husband said no, and didn’t let that happen. She explained that her whole family, even her own mother, turned against her. She said that it wasn’t long after that she became angry and mean. She didn’t care about taking care of her children, she didn’t care about God, she didn’t care about anything. She stated she just didn’t know how God would ever be able to help her……and she broke down. I saw over 15 years of pain and heartache bleeding out in front of me...and the rest of the group. She was curled up; her head under her shall that was in her hands, weeping. I looked up, tears in my eyes, and almost every other person was crying with her. Jesus was there. I wanted to cradle her in my arms. God told me to get up and comfort her. I wasn’t really exactly sure how this would be taken in this culture. To be honest, I haven’t seen many Africans really go deep enough to share their true emotion. They’ve had to survive for so long that emotions are too much to deal with. It’s the same for any human being that’s been through traumatic events and has had to simply survive. But, I knew it was what I was supposed to do. I squatted down next to her and put my arm around her. Betty. Betty is her name. I expressed my love for Betty. I expressed how courageous she was to share. I shared with her the Truth that it is only God who can choose to bring life and take it away, and just how hard it must have been to carry that on her shoulders for so long. I shared Jesus with her. I shared Love. I shared forgiveness and redemption and how God is big enough to take all of her pain. I shared that God is a jealous God, and wants all of her. I almost forgot for a bit that there were 10 or so other women sitting around. All were listening. I was reminded of this when after I would share something with Betty, a gentle “Mmm” would follow it. Agreement. Amens. She cried the entire time. Scovia spoke with her, too. Betty didn’t want to surrender her life to Christ. It was all too much. I could see everything that was shared with her just swirling in her mind. I couldn’t help but smile when the sweet older Mama decided to share something with her, too. She meant serious business!

Now, I knew we were finished for the day. I reminded the group that I would be there every Saturday at noon. I emphasized the importance of commitment to the group if they really wanted to gain much from it. Purposely, to get more participation, I asked if there was anyone who would like to close us in prayer. No one said anything and I just figured I’d try out picking someone. So, I asked the older lady if she would please close us in prayer. She looked at me, looked at those beside her and got this look on her face. Then she said something. Scovia looked at me and told me she had said she didn’t know how to pray. I totally didn’t expect that. So, I smiled and explained to her what prayer was…simply talking to Jesus like she and I had been talking. I went a little further and could tell she was uncomfortable. She took it into her own hands and called a lady over to pray. I laughed. So, this random other lady that was in the market came and closed us with prayer. It was a beautiful, simple, heartfelt prayer….a perfect example.

Finished.

I could have done a cartwheel I was so ecstatic at how well it went!! I never cease to be amazed when He shows up!!

I was walking back home, just a singing to the Lord thanking him for everything. I look to my right and I see the beautiful mountains and trees. Just on the other side of them is Uganda. It really is pretty here. His beauty. I got back to my room and I glanced down and saw the card. My wonderful and thoughtful roommate, Jen, made me note cards for every single day I am here that include a scripture and some personal prayers for me from her! I just love them and wake up each morning excited to see what the card says for the day!! So, I glanced down and for Saturday the scripture was Isaiah 55:12 “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” I got to see this truth in action, beautifully.

I relaxed around the compound the rest of the day and was in my room that evening, reading. The door was open as usual, and up walked Jacqueline and Blessing (both from the vocational school). She greeted me and I was happy to see them! They asked me how things went today. (Remember I had met Jacqueline while I was walking there), so I told them. Then Blessing busts out with, “We are going with you next time!!” Jacqueline looks at her and was like Blessing!! As if to be shocked she got to the point so quick! haha I smiled, and told them they could join me ANY time they wanted to!! They shook my hand, and off they were!! How cool is that?!!! They want to join in! I am in a constant state of being humbled.

This morning was church. I was kinda blah about it today. I don’t really know why. I was the only American there. Everyone else had gone to the first service I assumed. They do things a bit opposite from America here. In America you don’t dare call out the visitors in church because that would draw way to much attention to them and might possibly embarrass them. No way, Jose. Here, they take PRIDE in the new visitors and the new visitors stand up, say who they are, where they come from, and what brought them there! I had already done this 2 weeks ago along with being called to the front to “share a bit” with the church. So, I sat there so thankful that part was over for me, I kind of of wanted to just be at church, not a special guest. Ha. That’s a funny thought. One of the visitors shared that he drank a lot (alcohol), did things against the Lord, and was told last night by the Lord to come to church this morning. He introduced himself as Simon. Of course, my attention is held the second I hear alcohol. I began praying, Lord, do your thing. I know you will. Rapha has been on my heart more the past few days and I have been praying for direction. So, the visitors get done and the pastor then announced how wonderful it is to have the special guest (yes, word for word…ironic? Never.) again….Jessica Page. He goes on to explain that I’m here to work with those who have been drunks and struggle with alcohol and that I will be talking with Simon for 10-20 minutes after the service and anyone else who wants to. I FORCED my eyes not to bugle out! I thought, “Really, God?!! This is what you have in mind?!!” as I smiled and nodded. My God sure does have a sense of humor. I think once He sees that I’m willing to step out in obedience He enjoys giving me a little shove every now and then knowing I can’t say no, that I’ve seen Him show up in the past and have no doubt He will continue to….forever. At the end of the service during the time of prayer and commitment time I was pleading to the Lord to draw Simon to Him…to save him. Simon stood up and walked to the front. I wanted to jump up and down yelling, “YES! YES! YES!” Another brother! Oh, I forgot to mention that in the middle of a daydream about who knows what I was called out from the pastor to read a scripture to the whole congregation. I think some people would literally keel over if that were to happen in church at home. This is Africa. :)

So, we finish, I head out the door, and Simon is walking up to me in his baby blue trousers and jacket set with his neon yellow socks. I love it. Scovia joins (for translation) us and we go to sit down under the tree to talk. He shares his story with me. God spoke to him in a dream last night. God specifically told him to go to First Baptist Wudu in the morning. He listened and came, even with his wife questioning him and telling him she didn’t actually believe he would make it. He’s struggled with drinking for 3 years now, so much so that his children don’t have money for school fees. He begins crying. He is grieved by his sin. He confirmed that he had in fact surrendered his life to Jesus today. He wanted to change. He knew it was possible with Christ. I counseling with him for a while, encouraging him, telling him it would likely be hard, but that nothing was impossible with Christ. I think Scovia and I are going to head to his village to seek out the opportunity to have him start a group there. I’m seeking guidance as to if it’s to specifically be a Rapha group, or an IA2 group…possibly both. We shall see. Will you please pray for this? Pray for Simon. Pray for protection now that he’s choosing Life. The enemy isn’t pleased. Simon said his biggest desire was to share all of this with his wife, to bring her to church next week. He said he wants his whole family to change, to live for Jesus. It’s that beautiful?! I pray it happens, and happens sooner than later!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4

What's in a Name?

I heard the familiar sound of a motor bike pull into the compound on Monday. Since I was the only one on the compound, or probably one of two people, I had an inkling of who it could be. The oh, so familiar prayer for the Lord to give me His words and direct the conversation was upon my lips again as I sat in my room waiting….ah, there it is. “Jeska? Hello. Jeska!”

Innocent.

Last time he was looking for Kaya, and I think found himself in an in depth conversation with me about the Lord. This time, he didn’t ask where Kaya was. He asked if I was able to get him the Bible I had mentioned I would try and get for him. I was honestly a bit surprised! I hadn’t talked to anyone about getting it yet, and told him so. Of course, then started all of the questioning about why I hadn’t. Did I not have time, was it not important, did I just say I would and not intend to, etc. to which I had to remind him to sloooowwww down, and listen for my answer! I can’t help but smile each time he starts going as I’m waiting for him to get it all out so I can ask him if he’s ready for me to answer.

My conversations with Innocent leave me feeling drained at the end. It’s not a bad drained, but drained none-the-less. They take all of me. They require so much patience and much, much discernment in what to say, when. When I heard him drive up, I let out a deep breath. Do you ever simply just not want to talk? I mean, you know when you talk to someone it’s not going to be quick and simple? Well, I do. I was sort of feeling that way as he drove up. I know it may not be the “top of the line Christian thing” to admit, but its real life for ya. I praise God that I didn’t allow the way I “felt” let me miss out on this conversation. I’ve had to ask for forgiveness many times in the past for passing up opportunities the Lord put specifically in my way. It’s simply a matter of obedience. Oh, how I desire to obey and to obey joyfully.

So, Innocent takes a seat on the rocks right outside my door, under the tree. After a few minutes, I pull up a few rocks myself. Haha. Innocent and I discussed a lot of the same things, just in different contexts this time. There was a funeral up the road that TONS of people were going to. It’s a 3-7 day affair here after the burial. God used this to bring up death and the reality that we go SOMEWHERE when we die. I just love how he orchestrates conversation that way. He always does. So, then Innocent looks at me and innocently (no pun intended) looks at me and says, “Jeska, you know for sure where you are going when you die?” Oh, man with a confidence only Christ offers, I gleefully said, “Oh, yes I do.” To which he says, “For sure, for sure?!!” which was a bit out of disbelief. I think I used all of the solid, affirming, confident words in my vocabulary to express just how sure I was! Christ swung the door wide open and now it was time to allow His Truth to flood out. He was told again WHY I was absolutely positive I would be with Jesus in Heaven for eternity. We discussed forgiveness…who it’s for, the purpose, what it means if we don’t, etc. Come to find out, Innocent’s father was murdered and he had a child that was kidnapped and killed also. Try to talk about forgiveness with those circumstances. It’s hard. My heart just ached for him. We discussed what exactly a relationship is. What does a relationship actually LOOK like tangibly?! That then got us into reading the Word, and going to church, and praying. Of course, we kept coming back to simple faith and receiving the gift of salvation that Christ offers. Towards the end of our hour and a half conversation Innocent looked at me with a grin on his face and asked me if I thought he was born again. So, I just returned it with a smile and asked him if he thought he was born again. I knew he wanted to hear MY answer. So, I reminded him what the Bible says it means to be born again. I wanted nothing of ME to be what he leaves with. We had discussed already his reliance on what his priests tell him and him having to be told the hard truth by me (so not politically correct) that some of the things he says he’s been told simply are lies. So, I wanted him to have NO reliance upon me, but on what the Word of God says.

From where we left things, I still don’t think Innocent gets it. He’s still very stubborn to his life changing. But, friends, I do believe it’s a matter of time. He said he’ll be back by in a couple weeks. I intend to have a Bible for him. Continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will work on his heart and that it will please the Lord to allow all of these seeds to sprout!!

I went to bed on Monday night and it was SO MUCH cooler than it has been. I just laid there in bed thanking the Lord for this and fully savoring the fact that I was simply comfortable! I tell you, it was heaven on earth, friends!!

Each night as I lay down the day’s events scroll through my head. I find myself overflowing with thanks here. For some reason it’s easier to see all of the blessings throughout the day. I think it’s because nothing is taken for granted here, not for the most part. Nothing is ever promised, but here that is a reality. They don’t always have the “things” to distract from that hard truth. So, the fact that I have a bed to lie in, I am thankful. The fact that I eat beans every single day, most days twice, I am thankful. Most don’t have that luxury. You can go on and on and on. I laid there thinking about how I was talking with Sam earlier that night. He’s a guy from Sierra Leon staying here for a couple weeks as he is doing his children’s ministry in the area. I didn’t have anything out in the markets or the office on Monday, so it was another day to read, spend significant time with the Lord, help Alice out in the kitchen, etc. He always asks how my day was and I told him about my convo with Innocent and his response is, “Wow!! You had an amazingly productive day!! Praise the Lord!”

Perspective. There is so much in perspective. Many would assume that not much was accomplished since I didn’t check of a large to-do list. I mean, I didn’t even leave the compound! But, Sam beautifully reminded me that often the most important things accomplished are not seen. Much was accomplished today in my conversation with Innocent. Heavenly accomplishments. Oh, for more grace to have His perspective all of the time!

Guess what?!!! I woke up on Tuesday morning, opened my eyes, and realized I HAD SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE NIGHT!!!!! I may or may not have given a little “woohoo!!” sitting there under my mosquito net. J

I was refreshed. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Everything was so different that the previous days. I am amazed at how you don’t really realize what you are lacking sometimes until it is there again! While I was having good days, genuinely enjoying them and the people around me, there was a joy that had been missing…lightheartedness, really. I felt so much “lighter” as I was up and getting ready for the day.

Tuesday was simply a beautiful, filling day.

I started my day out by heading up to the SE office to do an IA2 group with the staff. I really was just so excited to do this with them! It ended up being a few of the staff and the rest those that are in the vocational school. There were around 15 of us total! It went so well and I was immensely encouraged. I was able to watch and see, too, that it isn’t just me that has to pull teeth to get group interaction and input. I saw how the SE staff also had to encourage and say over and over that opinions and comments were wanted, please communicate, etc. So, can you please be praying that God will really move in the hearts of those in these groups and give them a boldness to share openly and not be intimidated or fearful of being “wrong”. I can see how the enemy would just love to hinder in that way. Also, please pray that I will be given wisdom in knowing how to make it easier and more comfortable for them. I can’t change this white skin of mine, but I’m willing to pretty much do anything else! All in all, though, it was a major success!! Now, success is tricky…how are we to measure success? When I say success what I mean is that growth occurred. Plain and simple. There were a number of times that when directly asked or encouraged to share some awesome insight was given on the Scripture and there were at least 2 solid questions asked from women who didn’t understand certain things about the scripture. We went over Phil 3:3-9 and one lady was bold enough (after I made eye contact with her because I could tell her mind was just a working) to say that she didn’t understand what it meant by saying “we who are the circumcision”…what did that mean? I mean, that is a solid question! Before I could even open my mouth, one of the SE staffers explained it beautifully using other scripture references to explain the importance and significance of that. I’m pretty sure I was sitting there with a cheesy grin on my face watching it all happen before me. Growth.

Then, Scovia grabbed me and said we were headed to Wudu market. I really do find myself so excited to see all the Lord has in store. It VERY unpredictable and always so interestingly fun! Off we went. Can I share with you one of the many things that bless me so? As Scovia and I are walking we just talk away about anything and everything and we’ll joke and laugh and she’ll grab my hand and swing it back and forth as we walk. It’s one of those moments that the lens focuses out and I get a bird’s eye view of my life. It’s simply beautiful and amazingly humbling. I love it.

Come to find out we were there to help out a loan officer and do a loan repayment meeting. Sounded good to me! I was happy to get to actually see what it all looked like. I wish I could do justice in explaining how the market place is. There are so many bright colors, people here and there, bargaining, buying, talking, and visiting. For a people watcher like me, it was right up my alley! We stopped at one of the clients places (I’m at a loss for words as to what to call it..not really a store, but a tiny space with her products). I recognized her!!! I’ll mention more about my revelation of recognizing people in a bit. So, I got to visit with Milly and her daughter Rose as Scovia went off to do more business elsewhere in the market. I actually felt like I blended in a bit. Imagine that! I was watching and learning.

Scovia came back and told me that there were some ladies that wanted to meet me! Still, my first reaction is, “Me?? Who would want to meet me?!” But then, it clicks and I remember that people have been told about me coming. It’s a bit strange and I’m sure there is a significant spiritual tie I could bring into it. So, I’m taken over to an actual store front where 4 women warmly greet me. Scovia says, Okay, I’ll leave you here to visit and share about IA2 and heads off. Just writing that puts a smile to my face, because I just picture myself standing there. Sometimes I really do just laugh out loud at how God orchestrates everything. It’s just humorous sometimes. So, I walk in under the awning and take a seat. I was praising God that it was a seat just like theirs, a tiny wooden stool about 5 inches off the ground. I just don’t like always being given the nice chair and sitting above everyone. Sitting with them just feels so much better and right. So, right off the bat I was comforted to learn that Monica, one of the SE clients, knew English really well. Can I just say again how nice it is to be able to communicate one on one? So, there I was, getting to know these 4 beautiful ladies, all in a SE loan group. Come to find out, one of the original ones. I got to learn a bit about each of their stories, their families, and their progress and growth because of SE. Monica would translate for the other ladies after she and I would talk for a bit. I talked to them about the IA2 groups and they genuinely seemed excited. I was taking it all in and my heart was so full. I feel the most alive when I am interacting and with the people. Right then, right there…that’s what it is all about. Learning, laughing, loving. All was well with my soul. So, after a while we finished up, prayed, and I went back to Milly’s area. Scovia was finished as well so we started our way out of the market. As we were walking down the road I was trying to refresh my memory of all the names I had just learned. I desperately try and remember all that I can. So, Scovia is reminding me one of the women’s names was Monica. She said it a few times. Then, all of a sudden clue into the fact that I hear a man’s voice saying, “Monica!” I didn’t really put much to it. Then again, “Monica! Monica! Monica!” I look at Scovia and we both turn our heads to the area it was coming from and it all clicked. He heard her tell me the name Monica and assumed it was my name! He was calling me!! Scovia and I both laughed and she looked at me and said, “Let’s go!” So, we turn around and go towards the man (men) sitting there at the store front. I wondered what the Lord had in store this time. He wanted to know why I was here, wanted to talk to me. I don’t know that I can sufficiently express how surreal, yet awesome it is to be able to be pull up a chair and say to someone (who has asked!), “I have come here for a purpose. It’s not just to visit with you and the Sudanese, but to share the Truth of Jesus Christ. I come in His name and His name alone.” I mean, literally I say that word for words sometimes. And get this, they LISTEN!! Now, I just have to trust Jesus to do His thing and work on his heart. He put down the alcohol upon us walking up, and I could smell it on his breath. He was told about the IA2 group meeting on Monday by the church. He told me he would do everything he could to be there. Here’s to praying this happens!!!

Scovia and I began our walk back to the office quietly. Then she says, “You just can’t afford to pass up those opportunities!” I was thinking the same thing. I mean, I am often asked to share about Jesus here. I am called over to people and the door is opened WIDE. I looked at her and said, “I belong with the drunks. I really do!” She smiled. I came here thinking I was going to specifically work with Rapha, the alcohol recovery ministry that was started here, and Lord willing He has in in His plans for that to still happen!! But, I’ve come to realize that I am actively participating in this ministry almost every day as the Lord brings these men and women to me. Most everyone I’ve personally talk to one on one has been drunk, or at least has been drinking to some extent. God loves them. In fact, He adores them. My heart also aches for them to know the all surpassing love of my Savior. Oh, for them to fill that enormous void with Christ.

I realized something on Tuesday. I am starting to recognize people as I’m out and out. And, it’s not just recognizing, but actually knowing people! This is HUGE for me. If you know me at all, you know that I am a people person through and through. You may or may not know this but I put purposeful effort into remembering people’s names. One too many times I had the experience of feeling what it was like in college to literally have met someone like 6 times and yet they would come up to me and say, “Hi, I’m so and so. What’s your name?” So, I would smile and say, “Oh, I’m Jessica…I’m pretty sure we’ve met before” if I was feeling bold. If not, I’d just re-introduce myself again. And I could remember almost each and every time we had met, the conversation we had, etc. Now, that being said, I think I’ve just been given that type of memory. All of that being said, names are so important. They are in essence who we are. So, being placed in an environment where I meet someone but can’t even understand what they are saying to me much less their name is hard for me! So, it clicked for me. I was driving to the office on the motorbike and passed like 3 people who I knew by name and greeted as we drove by! We were walking to the market and we passed by a SE client that I recognized and was able to genuinely greet! We were driving by on the motor bike to head out to a village and I hear my name called. It was Moses from last week, who surrendered His life to the Lord! He had a huge grin on his face and I yelled “Doparana!!” as we went by. Oh, my joy. When we went to the market, I recognized Milly and Rose from the Education Seminar. This is huge! When you know people and they know you, it helps wherever you are to feel more like home.

I got back to the compound that evening just bubbling with joy.

I slept soundly that night.

All was right.