My Everything

I’m literally sitting here, my computer in front of me, the wind gracefully brushing my face as the temperatures are simply beautiful today, ADELE singing in my earphones, wondering how exactly these buttons beneath my fingers need to be pushed and in what order.  Let’s see….

I’ll start here:  So, I’ve had a few people ask if I’m “okay” because my tone in my blogs of recent…sometimes it’s hard to see that for myself because well, I’m living it.  Then again, I’m living it so I am experiencing it firsthand.  I do realize that most often when I share on here a lot of it is the day to day living. (Dad, that just made me think of your album ‘day to day giving’…random, I know). While I’m an open book (you’d have to be crazy not to realize that by now), I do see how I share a lot of the facts relating to other people and the events that are going on here.  That’s good.  It’s tangible. 

What is hard is putting to words what’s going on not around me, but IN me.  I’m a processor.  Sometimes it takes LOTS of processing for me to know up from down.  Often, I feel crazy along the way.   

That is what has been going on the past 2 weeks or so.  A lot has been going on within me and some days trying to process it was just too much so I was sitting in it.  Some good, some bad.  So, yes, I am okay.  Actually, I’m doing wonderfully.  I have some hard days…some really hard days (way more wonderful days in comparison), but even so, none of the circumstances  from day to day change my state of being enormously blessed, privileged, and swimming in God’s grace.  Actually, I’m drowning.

I’m drowning in God’s grace. 

So, as I mentioned, so much has been on my heart and mind.  On your mark, get set, here I go….

Desires.

As believers in Jesus Christ we learn that our first desire should be God.  He should be the heart of anything and everything we do.  We should want Him.  The truth is we all have a problem desiring God.  We often choose things that are far less than what we are offered through Christ, completely ignoring the joy we have right before us- a joy that is freely ours. We chose the slum when paradise is right around the corner.

Where am I going with this? Well, insert women.  Insert me.  Genesis 3:16 teaches that such misplaced desires are core to the struggles women in particular will face. Eve was created in the image of God to be a strong helper to Adam. But Adam and Eve sinned, resulting in the curse. The curse is bleak for men. Their work to provide is wearisome toil.  The curse is bleak for women. Childbirth will be painful, the man will rule over her, and yet, she still desires him.

I’ve read that the word for desire in Genesis 3:16 is strong, more like a craving or addiction.  Being a single, almost 27 year old gal myself, I get this.  That longing is there.  Boy is it there. At times, if I were to be completely honest, that longing has at times defined how I thought about myself, how I fixed my hair, how I dressed, where I hung out, and who I hung out with.  It has influenced how I have interacted with and treated my guy friends. 

I praise God that He has decided, in His sovereign grace, to protect me from much in my life, especially in this arena.  He has seemed to always remind me, when I find myself living out what I mentioned above, that I wanted (am wanting) something that they simply couldn’t give.  As Genesis 3:16 predicts, I was (am) desiring “him” (him being THE guy) and looking to “him” to meet my needs in my heart that only God is supposed to meet…only God CAN meet.

You may be reading this thinking, “Wait. So, you are telling me, Jess, that you are in Sudan, Africa, serving the Lord, sharing the Gospel, loving on many people, outside of your culture, filled with an ENORMOUS amount of joy while doing all of the above, and you are STILL struggling with THIS?!” My answer is um, yes and amen.  In many ways, I feel as if it’s intensified.  I mean, I am doing what I am passionate about with people whom I dearly love. When you are away from the things that often distract and you are made raw, everything seems intensified. I feel like a cliché phrase like “you can take the girl out of her country, but can’t take….should fit in here somewhere.  Surprise, I’m human.  The personal Bible study I’ve been doing while here is called “Preparing to be the Bride of Christ-A call to Holiness” It has been just SO GOOD and challenging and encouraging.  I really do think that a lot of the weight I’ve been feeling (that’s the best way I know how to describe it sometimes) is simply Satan trying his hardest to take what I’m learning about my relationship with Christ and tweaking it by the distraction of my fleshly desire for a husband.   

I’m a fan of blogs, and will check in on a few of my favorites every now and then.  I came across this one and man, it is exactly what I needed to read.  CLICK HERE!  It will likely challenge you, too. I can always use the reminder that I have someone after my joy.  I have someone after my relationship with Christ.  I have someone lurking, just waiting for the opportunity to deceive.

I go in and out of seasons with this, but here lately God has been working on my heart on this issue.  I think being outside of my “comfort zone” and literally not having any of the typical distractions somehow made it so much easier to cling to the comfort of my heart’s desire—a helpmate, a partner in ministry, a God fearing, Truth proclaiming, like-minded husband.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my desire for a husband is in no way wrong.  I fully believe it is placed there by God, and for God. Allowing that desire to replace what God has for me is, it leading me to be discontent, and distracting me in what He has for me right NOW is.

Honesty.
I’ve been listening to Matt Chandler’s sermon series on Habakkuk the past week or so.  Man, so good.  Matt chandler talks about just how stinking honest Habakkuk is with God.  He just shares it like it is.  I love that.  I’m a straight shooter most of the time.  I don’t typically like to beat around bushes.  I thought I was being honest with God the past few weeks.  Really, what I was doing was going through the motions and suppressing all of the above.  I mean, I know what I should want, what I should be doing, what I should take to the Lord.  I would share with Him the bare minimum and off to the next thing.  Or, share this bit, and off to bed.  Well, Matt chandler (rather God via MC) shook me of that.  I was reminded that when you “suffer silently” all of your energy will go into subduing, hiding, and/or overcoming your sin and you end up forgetting completely about the cross. You become issue driven versus cross driven.  Here I was listening to this the day before Easter. It stung. My sweet Savior died for my sin.  He died for it all.  In no way do I want to dwell (intentionally or not) in the nastiness I was feeling as a result of not being able to “shake” the fact that I knew I was gravitating towards not being content. Okay, not being content period.  Either you are or you aren’t.   I was gently reminded that I AM GOING TO FALL SHORT. And, without the cross being the center of everything, I will try to muster up more strength.  My own strength.

Jesus died for me while I was at my worst.

Chandler talked about a very popular song that says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.” How does sin lose its power? By mustering up strength on our own? No.  Sin loses its power by marveling at the gift of mercy and grace and looking AT Jesus.  Jesus becomes more lovely and attractive than the sin.  Sin loses its power.  Oh, the wonderful truth that god DELIGHTS in showing mercy to those who don’t deserve it.

God is my portion.

He has lavished his grace on me so that I am equipped to do every good work he has for me. He loves me unconditionally. I have free access to Him where I can boldly bring my needs and receive grace and mercy. I have a longing, and he alone is able to satisfy it. God is the gospel, and the good news of all I have in union with him dwarfs any good news and affirmation I'm hoping to get from a man.

Content and Joyous.

When fully resting in the truths above, I can genuinely say that I am joyous.  I have a joy that comes from none other than sweet Jesus.  What is joy? Joy is the result of a life marked by a complete trust, faith, rest, hope, and comfort in who God says that He is, and who He declares us to be in Him. Joy isn't defined by circumstances.  Paul says it wonderfully in Philippians 4: 11-13, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”  So many, myself included, fail to realize that this very popular verse is talking about doing everything with contentment through Him who gives us strength.  It’s possible! Thank you, Jesus.

Now, (letting out a deep breath) here’s some specific updates from this past week or so. 

Monday’s group with the vocational school just didn’t “click” as it usually does.  I literally told them in a very casual way that I felt like I was talking to myself, to which they laughed and said “no, no…we are here!”  They simply didn’t want to talk for some reason!  Then, on Tuesday Scovia and I headed out to Kinyiba.  We were supposed to accomplish doing both the education seminar and the IA2 group this time.  Well, we get there and literally maybe 3 or 4 clients are there.  Anyone want to take a lucky guess where everyone was?!! ……You get 10 points if you guessed a funeral.   So, long story short, we ended up not doing the education seminar because you um, kind of need clients to do it, but I told Scovia there was no reason why we shouldn’t still do the IA2 group.  It is for anyone, and we had already driven 45 minutes out there, so the show must go on! J I am oh, so glad we did!! The group started off with Mr. Peter introducing himself to me.  He is a little man that used every bit of his body as he spoke.  He was funny, too!  Yes, again, this precious man was extremely drunk.  He was who God sent for our group this day.  This is going to sound odd, but I tell you what, I am so serious when I tell you that the groups where the Lord chooses to send the one drunken person to them turn out so beautiful.  There is honesty.  There is openness. There is humor.  There is interaction.  Because of the fact that their inhibitions are gone, they talk.  They share.  They encourage everyone else to talk, unashamedly.  I absolutely love it.  Peter was no different.  Come to find out he had gone to a Bible school. He knew a good bit of the Word and he was in the place where he wanted to share it!! Haha…we discussed the call of Matthew.  Peter got everyone to talk and interact.  Towards the end when we discussed how we were all going to be changed from what we read and talked about that day Peter was the first one to speak up.  He wanted to be very clear that he struggled with sin.  He shared that he knew he needed to change.  He shared that his struggles were with drinking, smoking, and womanizing.  He was confessing.  The beautiful thing is that he didn’t have to put the words out there for us to know that.  It was obvious, but he personally needed to confess it out loud.  People snickered out of awkwardness, because really, how often do we find ourselves (anywhere in the world) openly confessing our sin struggles?  I thanked Peter for being so honest and open.  He then turned to the group and told them they ALL needed to share where they struggled so they could change! I was sitting there quietly beaming, allowing God to do His thing via Peter.  No one else did quite to the extent as Peter, but one older man confessed he needed to recommit his life to Jesus, that he had been lazy about it, another woman shared that she needed to read the Word more.  Do you see….one person opens up and its fuel to the wonderful fire of growth.  Peter continued at one point saying he wanted to be DONE with drinking and that he was going to tell all of his drunken friends about this group so they too could be free!! He went so far to say that he was going to tell anyone, even the ones that had defecated on themselves!!! Everyone laughed, and I simply smiled and told him that Christ’s freedom was just as much for his friends as for anyone else!!  Never in my life did I think the mental picture that Peter drew for me would bring me so much joy!! J 

I was reminded yet again that He came for us while we were at our worst. Our absolute worst.

We finished up, I prayed specifically for Peter to be set free from his alcoholism, smoking, and womanizing.  Oh, God, how I pray and hope Peter can be a mighty took for the Kingdom!!

Man, Wednesday was a day of UP and DOWN emotions.  Thomas, a guy around my age, who went through the Bible school here, came with me to translate since Scovia had to head off to another village for an education seminar. The first group in wudu almost had me pulling at my hair.  I am not exxaturing at ALL when I tell you that I would ask a question and NO ONE would saying anything, much less even make eye contact.  So, I’d rephrase it.  Then, I’d trying and saying something light hearted.  Then I decided maybe actually reading out of the Bible itself was intimidating so I storied the scripture.  Then, I flat out asked what I could to do make them more comfortable in sharing.  NOTHING. Ahhh!!!  I got satisfaction out of the fact that not even Thomas could really get them to share.  It was the longest hour ever.  Not to mention that the bar that we are meeting at is like a Sauna.  So, your energy is literally zapped out of you upon entering the place.  So, the second group comes and it was a much needed breathe of fresh air.  I hardly talk at all.  It’s wonderful! J AND, major prayer request: Celina, a SE client and one of the group members who is Muslim came excited to share something with me.  She is really thinking and praying about surrendering her life to Christ.  She explained that she was praying and found herself praying in the name of Jesus.  She also shared that all of her children are born again and she has watched them and wants a Bible, wants to start going to church, and is really thinking about following Christ.  I liked to fly out of my chair to hug her.  J So, please be praying.  She was given a Bible and I pray soon and very soon she becomes my sister in Christ

Drew headed home Thursday afternoon.  It was a bit sad for me to see him go simply because the company is always nice! I fully expected that though, so it wasn’t a shocker.  It was such a blessing having him around.  Physically having someone here who was likeminded that I didn’t have to change the way I say or think about things when I was talking was blissful! Haha He was such an encouragement.

Mondikalok called Wednesday saying not to come on Thursday because of a funeral. At first I was frustrated, but with the help of Drew, realized how HUGE that was. I mean, they respected me enough to save me the time of driving out there.  It’s all about persective. I didn’t meet in Mere either because of transportation.  So, Thursday was a non-eventful day as far as the groups were concerned and that led me to being off for Good Friday.

All of what I spilled out above hit its peak on Friday, really.  I went to a good Friday church service at 10 and then headed over to the water harvest compound to hang out with the everyone (Grant, John, Stephen and Ester, Stephen’s girlfriend, who was visiting from Italy!)  I ended up hanging out there all day.  It was MUCH needed.  I struggled with feeling like a burden and an inconvenience at one point (not because of anyone or anything really…goes back to all that I was dealing with personally) and Grant was a loving brother in Christ to remind me that it simply wasn’t the truth.  We hung out, ate together, played Nerts (it had been WAY too long!!).  It was just such a refreshing and fun day for me.   

That evening a sunset/night service had been planned.  It got dark and we headed out to the field where John had worked on making a beautiful cross.  The dark clouds had rolled in and the lightening was in full force.  I find myself continually saying here ,”Now THIS is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” I’ve never seen lightening like this before.  It was literally out of this world.  We began and I found myself standing among 30 or so African men and women singing praises loudly to our creator and Savior of the world!  The wind had picked up, the lightening was flashing above me and I could hardly stand from the weight of the power of my God.  I can’t explain it.  It was extraordinary.  John shared a powerful message from his heart.  I sat there, tears gently rolling down my cheeks at the beauty of what we were celebrating….his power over death.  His power over my damnation to Hell.  His power to set me FREE! As John was finishing up the floodgates opened.  At first it was a drizzle, then a normal rain, and as we were given nails to go and lay at the foot of the cross, symbolizing all we needed to lay at His feet, the DOWNPOUR came upon us! It was so awesome!  After a few minutes Grant and I decided t was time to get out of dodge!! We ran back to the compound.   We were both drenched by the time we got into the vehicle.   We made a stop to pick up 2 people that were staying at Kaya’s compound too, and by the time all of that was accomplished Grant looked like he had simply taken a shower with his clothes on, 5 times over. It was hilarious. We both decided we felt like we were on a rescue mission.  So, we got back to the compound, I got in my room, shut the door, and found myself just standing in the middle of my room sopping wet, in awe of my God. 

Saturday included all of the stuff in the beginning being all processed and worked out between the Lord and I and Sunday was EASTER!!! I had a great day just spending time here at the compound enjoying just “being”.  Some very sad news was given on Sunday as well.  David’s wife, Gloria found out that her younger brother had died from appendicitis.  Please be praying for comfort for their family during this hard time. ..

You coming is proof...

Monday turned out to be a day of catching up on “life back home”.  My gals in the vocational school are taking exams and come to find out they all went home early when finished with their exams.  Going home early=no group.  I was a little bummed because I enjoy our time, and hoped they would understand the whole “we meet EVERY Monday at noon” thing by now, but was fully grateful to get some time to catch up with my sister and a couple good friends. 

I headed out to Kinyiba on Tuesday.  I had been praying for and wondering if Esther would make an appearance.  She didn’t, but just about everyone else did! I was SO ENCOURAGED to find out that one of the men that came last week had called Scovia (she didn’t go with me this time because of schedule conflicts with an education seminar)  as Kaya (SE Kaya not David Kaya) and I were on our way out there asking where we were! We were about 15 minutes late (which is actually early here ha) and they were calling asking where we were!!!!  They were awaiting our arrival, chairs set up and everything.  I tell you, this speaks volumes and is water to my soul considering I feel most days I am fighting a losing battle with consistency and commitment to the groups.  There were about 20 or so people that showed up.  7 or 8 of them were men!! This is something else that brought me so much joy.  Most of the groups MIGHT have 1 male in them.  So, this village seems to have men that are stronger in their faith, or at least willing to show up for an opportunity to grow in their walk with the Lord.  Our discussion went really well.  They have some awesome questions regarding the Scripture we covered.

I was so very hopeful for the “newly” 2 new groups in Wudu market in the new meeting place (the bar).

This is the status I put up on my facebook for Wednesday-it about sums it up:  Well, I successfully dwnloaded a min and a half video in 1 1/2 hrs, I successfully *attempted* to teach my translator for the day how to play bejeweled on my ipod as we successfully waited for over 2 hours for someone, anyone to show up for 2 groups scheduled for today, and I'm pretty sure I have successfully sweat more today than I ever have in a sauna. Success: all about perspective. TIA.

Mondikalok and Mere were in store for Thursday.  Y’all, I had such a genuine joy for what the Lord choose to do in Mondikalok on Thursday.  It started out with me having a bit of a pity party.  We got to Mondikalok and Scovia went to go park the bike and “mobilize”.  I was asked to sit.  So, I sat.  As I was sitting, I was thinking about how sometimes I get tired of sitting.  Waiting. Sitting. Waiting. My desire for comfort rears its head every now and then.  I just wanted people to actual DO what they say they are going to DO! My flesh just wanted to scream “It’s not that hard to remember that the group meets the SAME day at the SAME time EVERY week.  It’s not that hard to follow though.  It’s not that hard to live up to your word.” I’m tired.  I just had to pray to the Lord while sitting there, telling Him that I’m just tired.  I’m giving all that I can, and I’m tired, Lord.  I see a very tall, lanky, not completely clothed man walking towards me and I was tired just thinking about how yet again I knew I was going to be asked for something.  Isn’t it a beauty that God never gets tired of us asking things of Him? I mean, think about it.  Well, come to find out he doesn’t even say a word, just walks up, stares at me, and rubs his fingers together cleverly asking for money without saying a word.  I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh and tell him I don’t have money to give him, but he is more than welcome to join the group that was about to meet.  He wasn’t interested.  Just like that he was on his way again.  I confessed to God that I just wanted to be invisible.  Yep, it’s true.  I wanted to disappear…just for a little bit.  I give and give and give and the honest to goodness truth is I wanted to be invisible.  Everyone is gathered after 25 minutes or so, and we begin.  Even with being tired and wanting to be invisible, I push on.  There’s not an option not to.  I know what I am here to do, and I know God’s grace is sufficient, so I push on.  He always shows up.  He always reminds me. He always provides. He always encourages.  I just have to push through all the junk and weariness.  So, as he always does, I was quickly encouraged to see 2 of the 3 men from last week show up!! Specifically Simon, who openly was rejecting the Gospel when I shared it with him last week.  He came this week along with another guy who literally said 2 words last week.  He’s not a believer, either.  So, we’re going through the Scripture and things are going pretty well and I’m telling you what seems out of NOWHERE a man BURST through the 5 foot door leading to the little area we were meeting at.  If I were in front of you right now I would be showing you what it looked like.  It’s as if Jesus shoved him through the door and he landed in a place he was completely unaware of! He was talking VERY loud as he burst in, turns, sees all of us just starting at him, and immediately takes of his hat and says, “oh, so sorry. You’re meeting!” Scovia and I both laughed a little and she told him he was more than welcome to join us! So, he sits down and joins us! Thus began the many, many, many questions of Wani.  He was a bit inebriated, he slurred a bit of his speech, but I tell you what, it’s as if he found himself in a place that he could ask the MILLION questions he seemed to have stored up in that mind of his.  The beautiful thing is he was willing to bring up and ask all the questions regarding the Scripture that the other group members were not! Yet again, this one was for the benefit all of the rest!  Come to find out that Wani is a Jehovah’s Witness.  SO MANY non-truths saturated Wani’s life.  We finished up the group and had to tell Wani it was then we could finish answering all the questions he had.  The sad thing is he had no ears to hear.  It was as if he was literally deaf.  He would ask a solid question, Scovia or I would answer, and before we could even finish he was asking the exact same question again!!! This went on for a good 30 minutes or so (through our lunch). It got to a point that Scovia and I just sat back, looked at each other, and started laughing.  He was wearing us out.  I tell you what, I feel like I’m living in literal Bible times some days here.  I felt like I was sitting and talking to a Pharisee, who knew the law and just couldn’t see past it.  Scovia literally stopped at one point and simply and gently asked him, “Do you love Jesus?”  He didn’t answer the question but began saying something else.  She stopped him and asked again, “Do you love JESUS?” She asked a third time. (Bible story anyone??J) It didn’t click.  It just goes to show that unless the eyes and ears are opened by the Lord, you just can’t force someone to understand.  I really do hope that all the Truth that was shared with him will sprout.  I also pray he comes back next week.      

The whole ride from Mondikalok to Mere Scovia just laughed about it all.  See? God always encourages me.  I start sharing His truth and His love, and I forget about ME!  It’s never about me. 

Oh, I forgot to mention, on the drive out to Mondikalok Scovia shared with me that she ran in to Phoebe the other day in the market and Phoebe shared with her that she had decided she was leaving her husband.  My heart sank upon hearing this.  I asked Scovia if she felt that was a good decision and we were talking about it and all of a sudden we look and there is Phoebe walking up the road! (NEVER a coincidence!) So, we stopped and chatted for a second and she said it would only be her today, as the other group members left to go to a funeral.  Perfect.  I knew God wanted us to have some solid time with Phoebe.  She was softened to a point where she was seeking the advice, comfort, and truth.  So, we get there and meet up with her.  Well, ends up a new man decided to come.  He said he had heard people talking about a group that met to study the Word and decided this week he wanted to come to learn what it was about.  He is not a believer.  I find myself surprised, even now, when I hear how all of these non-believers simply want to come to learn the Word! It’s odd.  It’s beautiful.  God draws them to Him.  Most surrender.  Some don’t.  God is powerful.  That’s all there is to it.  Anyways, so we go through a powerful Scripture and in complete opposition to Wani in Mandikalok this man LISTENED and seemed to soak in all the answers to the questions He had about Jesus.  He didn’t surrender his life, but he definitely seemed to be effected by all that he learned.  We got deep in the Word and talked about so many things.  Religion is bunk.  It’s annoying.  It distracts.  I consider it such a huge privilege to be the vessel to say those exact things to these beautiful people.  Okay, I don’t exactly say bunk, but pretty close to it! J So, Phoebe asked after we were finished if Scovia and I could stay because she wanted to talk to us separately.  She shared her desperation.  She shared that she in fact has begun already moving back to her parents. She shared that she is just tired.  She shared that she has no help with her oldest son who has epilepsy.  She shared how her husband doesn’t love her.  My heart broke as I sat there watching this astoundingly beautiful young lady desperately seeking what Christ can only offer her.  I was heartbroken for her, but KNEW it was a place she needed to be at.  After listening to her, I pulled my chair up close to her and through my tears I told her how sorry I was that she was hurting so bad.  We both sat there and cried.  I affirmed her in the fact that she is precious to the Lord, she is beautiful, she is WORTHY, she is special.  I reminded her, as I’ve been telling her for weeks, that Jesus is the only one that can give her what she is seeking…even in her husband.  How often do we seek things from humans that they simply can’t offer us?  So often.   Jesus is the Love she needed.  She shared more about her son, and the circumstances of the other wife of her husband.  I knew then we were to pray for her son.  I was waiting for the opportunity and the Lord didn’t wait long to bring it.  The next thing I knew Phoebe was getting up and left to go get her 4 year old son who has what they have been told is epilepsy.  I’m fully convinced it’s completely spiritual.  There is a lot that has happened in Phoebe’s marriage and the marriage of her husband with the other wife that seems to have invited Satan to have a hay day.  Her 4 year old son was the center of a lot of drama.  As she was gone Scovia and I prayed for what the Lord was about to do.  She came back with this sweet boy.  He was terrified of me.  I am pretty scary. J We talked some more to Phoebe and she shared that she was ready to surrender he life to God.  It was exactly what Scovia and I had JUST PRAYED FOR.  We prayed that this would be Phoebe’s day to become a child of the King.  We prayed that she would be broken enough to know her need of a Savior.  We prayed that through our pleading on behalf of her son for healing, that God would confirm to her that he is in fact, our Mighty Healer!  We prayed with her as she confessed that she needed Jesus.  She prayed that she couldn’t do it on her own, she needed Him.  She asked for forgiveness and committed to do her best to live a life pleasing Him from this point on.  My joy was just too much to contain, tears streaming down my face. He is just so faithful.  So, so faithful.  So, then we prayed specifically for her son as she held him in her lap.  We prayed the blood of Christ over his little body, rebuking ANY power that was causing him to seize.  I do believe he was healed that day.  There was nothing to physically show for it, but I believe it.  I really have no doubt when we go to Mere this week Phoebe will be able to tell us that he has not had even one seizure.  

It was a powerful few hours.  I think Phoebe is still planning on moving to her parents.  Please be praying for her.  Much growth is yet to happen with my sweet friend.      

Group in Leikor on Saturday went well. There’s a pretty consistent group of women that are there, which is a blessing!  I’m challenging them a lot.  They can handle it. I told them that, too.  J

Okay, so this is what I’m REALLY excited to share about!!!  Remember what I wrote about a few posts back about getting the flat tire and ending up in Kangapo?  I met with a bunch of drunks and a man named James who has been sober for 7 years and I talked to him about starting a group there.  It was also the village of a man named Simon who had surrendered his life to the Lord a while back, said he was going to stop drinking, and wanted me to come to his village for a group.  So, we told James we could come visit him again to talk to him about what it would look like to equip him to begin a group. 

Well, Scovia and I decided that we could go to Kagapo on Saturday afternoon after meeting with the Leikor group.  I was looking forward to it.  We pull up and there are a group of men laying and sitting around.  We passed by one man I recognized from the last time and he turned around and came back to where we were.  They were so excited we were there to visit.   Come to find out James wasn’t there so we visited for a bit with the men that were sitting around there for a bit.  Then I asked about Simon.  One of the men, Friday, said he would take us to his home, it wasn’t very far at all.  So, he and Joseph (the man that came back after seeing us show up) led the way through the grass to his place.  I was praying as we were on our way that Simon would be home.  It had been a month since I had told him I would come to visit him in his village.  We walk up and THERE WAS SIMON!! He had a HUGE SMILE on his face upon seeing me.  Most people here are huge on welcoming guests, so next thing I knew there were chairs brought out and I was asked to sit.  So, we got to sit and visit.  I asked Simon how he was doing.  Guess what?! He’s been sober since the day he surrendered his life to the Lord a month ago!! His wife came and introduced herself.   Simon was especially burdened for his family the day I talked to him, and shared that he wanted his whole family to know Jesus.  I invited her to sit with us, and she began sharing her side of the story.  It was beautiful.  She shared from her perspective what life was like when Simon was drinking.  She shared that he began saying he was doing to Wudu to church, but she didn’t believe him.  She didn’t believe that he was actually going to pray, but probably to get alcohol.  But that she couldn’t deny that she saw a change in him.  She said she noticed that he was gentler, he didn’t argue, he was humble.  She said that by us coming it proved to her that he did in fact tell the truth about going to church on Sundays and that it must be Jesus that has changed him!  She herself wasn’t born again.  The men, Friday and Joseph, were sitting with us listening, too.   I knew I was supposed to visit Simon, but I didn’t know THIS is what God had in mind! How neat!!  So, we visited, at cassava and mangos, laughed, and thoroughly had a great time.  Somewhere in there Joseph decided I was supposed to marry him.  Of course.  He was funny.  Really funny.  I wanted to get a picture of Simon and his wife.  Joseph decided he wanted in on the picture as well.  You can see these pictures on my facebook.  So, we finished up with Simon at his home and headed back to the main market area where the other men were.  We sat back down with them as they were waiting for us to get back.  So, pretty much the Gospel was shared with a number of men, including a young man named Albert, a teacher named Bennett, along with Friday and Joseph, and probably 4 or 5 other men, young and old.  We explained what the IA2 group was, it’s purpose.  They were all REALLY excited to have that for them.  They shared some of their stories, welcoming anything that would help them to change.  Perfect.  This whole “thing” with Kangapo is simply beautiful to me.  It is undeniably God-ordained.

So, we were getting ready to head out after spending a number of hours there and Friday said that he was going to come to church in Wudu with Simon in the morning.  I encouraged him to in fact do so!  Joseph said he would, too. 

I left Kangapo so filled with joy, I was bubbling! I loved every single minute of it.

Sunday was a wonderfully relaxing day.  I go to the church right across the street from me, so I didn’t know if Friday and Joseph actually came with Simon or not to First Baptist in Wudu.  So, I get to the office first thing on Monday and Scovia comes up to me with a huge smile. 

Simon brought his wife to church with him.  She surrendered her life to the Lord!!!!!  Friday came to church with Simon.  He surrendered his life to the Lord!!!! Joseph didn’t come, but there is most definitely still time! J I literally jumped up and down out of excitement upon hearing this!!!!! I love it.  I just love it! Friday expressed wanting Scovia and I to come visit his family next.  It is a done deal; I will be visiting with Friday and his family next visit! I’m telling you…if I have anything to do with it, this whole village will be surrendered to Christ….one family at a time! J

This past week has been a week of ups and downs.  I’m so grateful for both.  In it all Jesus continues to show Himself not only faithful, but so gentle and loving.  I just love Him so.  I have loved Jesus for a long time now, but I really do find myself completely smitten with Him.  It is only Him that would/could sweep me off my feet, take me to Africa, and continue His steadfast pursuit of me.  He never stops.  He is constantly seeking after my heart, my soul.  He has it.  He has it all.  To know that I am fully embraced in the arms of my Redeemer is beyond words.  There truly is no sweeter name than the name of Jesus.   

He came to set us FREE!!

So, after getting back from Bible Study on Saturday late afternoon, I pulled up a chair and sat with all of those here at the compound that were just enjoying spending time “hanging out” in the shade.  I don’t understand 98% of what is being said, but it’s fun to try and figure it out by all of the context clues! So, after a few minutes Nicholas joins us.  Allow me introduce Nicholas Butti to you.  I met Nicholas about 2 or so weeks ago as he came and stood in the doorway of my room one morning.  He was a bit hard to understand, but I quickly realized he was asking me for money.  The alcohol on his breath lingered as he spoke to me.  He settled for me saying I wasn’t going to give him money and explained he was a construction worker that was going to start working on the project right next to my room.  He also shared that he was a soldier from Uganda. I knew I’d be seeing much of Nicholas.  So, each morning and evening I made sure to greet Nicholas and ask how he was doing and just about each of those times Nicholas has something to ask me for.  If it wasn’t money, it was medicine.  If it wasn’t medicine, it was a new work uniform.  If it wasn’t a new work uniform, it was a Bible.  Now, we were getting somewhere. J There was more than a few times Nicholas had heard me explaining what I was here to do.  He knew I was all about Jesus. I don’t know that there was one time I talked with Nicholas that I didn’t smell the alcohol on his breath.  It was apparent what he spent all of his money on.  I tried sharing with the other construction workers, especially the lead one named Volo, and he wasn’t having it.  He didn’t want to go there.  After praying, I felt that I needed to back off a bit.  Peter, who is so extremely gracious, spends a lot of time with them.  We both agreed that it was probably best for him to really minister to them through building a relationship and communicating with them in a way that they wouldn’t make them want to close off.  So, I kept on loving them by letting them know they were important to me through greeting them and chit chatting when I could.  Greetings here are HUGE. 

So, I’m sitting there with about 6 or 7 others and Nicholas walks up. He pulls up a chair next to me and asks me for medicine for his head.  So, as I have many times before, I explain that his head is hurting because of the alcohol he drinks in addition to being in the sun all day without drinking water.  I pretty much have a repeat button when it comes to this.  So, then I could tell that everyone else was giving him a hard time in KuKu.  Come to find out he was saying he wants to marry Alice.  Sweet, Godly Alice.  He didn’t know what he had coming when he asked what I thought about that.  I laughed and said, “No, absolutely not.” I’m pretty sure I heard an amen or two. Haha…I went on to express that Alice was a Godly woman, God’s prized jewel and that she deserved nothing but the best, God’s standard for her.  I’m pretty sure someone said something about his drinking.  I confirmed that his drinking was not only not in her best interest, but his either.  So, then all of a sudden it seemed to turn into a “let’s bash Nicholas” session.  I know for a fact everyone else did not expect the way the conversation took a turn.  I just felt this overwhelming feeling that God was about to make much of Himself, and yet again, I was to push through what was likely about to be a tough situation.  So, someone mentions that Nicholas is useless.  That was all I needed.  I hate that word.  Everything about it is against the redeeming power of the Jesus I serve.  So, I very clearly spoke up that we are no different from Nicholas, but for the grace of God.  I pointed to each of them, including myself emphasizing that we ALL of things in our life that we struggle with, that Nicholas’ struggle was just easier seen.  Each time God reminds me of this truth I have a flash back to the precious birth mom’s I worked with as an adoption case worker.  Many times did I express this truth to them as they sat in front of me, their pregnant bellies there for all to see.  It’s often the sins that others can’t see that are more dangerous. 

I had everyone’s attention.  So, then I turn to talk specifically to Nicholas.  I knew everyone was listening, even if they didn’t want it to be noticeable that they were.  Past the man consumed with alcohol is a person with so much pain in need of the ONE thing that can fill the void he tries to satisfy with the drink.  I sat there talking to him about how he has the choice to walk away, but that is his choice alone.  We talked about God’s ability to change him.  I asked Nicholas if he knew what Jesus did for him.  Nope.  Well, today was the day.  I was sitting there looking in his eyes as he was trying to process it all and I just really felt that there were so many things he’d seen and done as a soldier that he was so desperately trying to get away from.  I mean, isn’t that what we all do?  Pick your drug of choice…alcohol, drugs, relationships, food, attention, etc. etc.  I could go on and on.  We use them to numb us.  Now, add the circumstances of a life lived where they have had to survive for decades.  Not live, but survive.  Now, once you’ve got that, go one step further by adding the dynamic of being a solider and all that includes.  Who’s to say I wouldn’t be doing exactly what Nicholas is doing with his life if I weren’t in his shoes? 

I told him so.  I told him I could not possibly imagine the things he’s seen and done.  I understood he was in pain.  I told him I didn’t blame him for wanting to get away from that pain, but he was only causing more pain with the alcohol.  Jesus has been waiting for him to give ALL his pain to Him.  One tear….two….

Brokenness is honestly one of the most beautiful things to me.  It’s so hard.  It hurts.  It’s absolutely necessary.  It’s freeing. It’s healing.

I was explaining to Nicholas an example of what Christ wants us to do in calling out to Him for forgiveness and healing and ultimately salvation.  I literally put my hands out and said, “He is just waiting for us to call out saying, “ Jesus I NEED you!”” Nicholas lifted his hands out and repeated exactly that.  I looked at him and smiled and asked him if he wanted to receive Jesus.  He said yes! As if to say, “Um, that’s what I was just doing before you interrupted me!” haha So, I said, “Amen, let’s pray.” 

Immediately everyone who was still sitting around who had been all talking amongst themselves immediately stopped talking and everyone bowed their heads!!  I wanted to chuckle.  Of course. 

So, I led Nicholas in a prayer.  He received Jesus as his Savior.  He received Him as his Healer. He asked Jesus to help him stop drinking so that he could follow Him fully.  I don’t have Bibles to hand out (but boy do I wish I did), but I did remember that I had some wonderful scripture cards that my friend Rachel made for me while here.  I went to my room and grabbed  the one that had scripture referring to Christ’s power and being led by the Holy Spirit.  I gave it to Nicholas so he could have some Truth with him at all times, as a reminder.  I told Nicholas that now it was time to learn to walk with the Lord.  I asked him who he was going to share his decision with.  He said he was going to testify in church on Sunday!  I was so excited.  He told me he would go to church with me.  So, I told him what time to come.  We finished up and someone mumbled that he wasn’t going to change, that he was going to come back drunk like he always is. 

Insert: Righteous anger. I’ll just leave it at that.

So, I made sure Nicholas looked at me, knowing he heard them, and told him to prove them wrong.  PROVE THEM WRONG!!! It’s Jesus you serve, no one else.

Oh, how I prayed that evening that Nicholas would be sober in the morning when he came for church.  Drew had a good point that he just prayed he showed up at all.  Just show up.  So often that’s what Jesus asks of us. Show up and He is the one to change us. 

So, I woke up the next morning, got ready, and Drew and I were eating breakfast.  I look up and walking up is Nicholas! THANK YOU, JESUS!! Unfortunately I could smell the alcohol on his breath.  But, he came.  So, we walked to church and he stayed for the whole service (despite seeing him get up and tell Peter he wanted to leave).  As custom at church, he stood and introduced himself as a first time guest. I was proud of him.  The message was really good for him to hear.

So, please, please be praying for Nicholas.  How wonderful would it be for him to set FREE from his addiction and be used as a LIGHT to the construction crew and everyone else around the compound?!!    

Sometimes all you need is a flat tire...

So, this past Monday was the IA2 group with the SE Vocational School students.  This group is “clicking”.  It really is so refreshing to have this group dynamic.  Establishing and actually seeing these groups in full effect is hard.  It took me a little while before I could admit this.  But, it’s the truth.  It’s hard here.  I am having a WAY easier time figuring out what doesn’t work.  I realize how easy it is to overlook the significance in that.  That, my friends, is success.  So, things have been VERY successful!!! Haha… God gave me a way to facilitate this specific group that is working just so great.  We stay all together (like 20-25 of us) for the review of their commitments from the prior week.  I have seen that when I am taken out of the picture, things run MUCH better and actually seem to have more of an impact.  That is exactly how it is supposed to be! So, I ask them to pick someone from their small group they met with the time before and state what that person said they committed to and the person they said they would share with and then ask that person if they obeyed in doing so.  They seem to have a lot of fun with it.  It gives them a way to “pick” on each other, so it makes it less scary.  So, we do that until at least half of the group has shared.  Know what I love? They are honest.  If they didn’t obey, they say they didn’t obey.  Then, I challenge them. J Now that I think of it I’m not sure I’ve had someone share 2 weeks in a row that they didn’t follow through.  So, then we begin with the story in scripture for that day all together as the group.  I am always overjoyed with the depth of some of the questions and observations.   Even more than that, the simplicity and sincerity of the childlike faith is always just so humbling to me.  Then, when we get to the part where we are to discuss how they are going to be changed and who they are going to share with, they split up into 4 or 5 smaller groups.  They get at it.  I walk around just smiling at listening to them process through all we just talked about.  It works.  This simply works for this specific group.  So, on Monday we discussed a passage of Scripture that talked about Christ’s sufferings leading up to the cross.  We also studied a different scripture that talked about when Jesus had been resurrected and showed himself to Peter and then the disciples and then 500 others.  Man, it was such a good discussion.  So, the groups were meeting and I sat in on one of them.  They had a few questions for me, so we sat there and talked while we waited for everyone else to finish.  They had some really solid questions for me.  We talked about the saving grace of God.  We talked about how there is not one reason why we should wait to surrender to God. That’s when quiet Victoria spoke up.  I can’t even remember exactly what she said, but it led me to ask her if she was waiting to surrender to Christ.  She said that she loved God with all of her heart, but she was waiting for the right time to completely surrender her life to Him.  Of course, I looked at her and said, “What? What are you waiting for??”  She shyly smiled, looking down.  She said, “I don’t know, the Bible says He will come like a thief in the night.” “EXACTLY!”, I emphasized.  She looked up at me and with the sweetest look on her face said, “I want to now.  I’m ready.” So, we prayed and Victoria made the decision to FULLY surrender her life to Christ.  We finished praying and I literally let out a loud “WOOOHOOO!!!” She laughed. I’m pretty sure I embarrassed her. Haha. Everyone looked and laughed at me.  I mean, when the joy comes, I just can’t contain it sometimes!! J  So, we have yet another sister in Christ! I just love how Christ softens heats.  His Truth saves. 

Tuesday morning Drew arrived! He works with Seed Effect, and is here to look at the operations and lots of other things related to the ministry.  He’ll be here for 2 weeks. It’s been good to have a friendly face around here.  We headed up to the office and then that afternoon I headed out to a new village with Scovia.  We introduced the IA2 groups to the loan members the other day at the office so, as always, there was no telling what the Lord had in store for Kinyiba. 

It ended up being about 15 or so men and women sitting around by the time we started, and the group went really well.  As usual for the first meeting, we all shared and talked about “our stories”. There were some hard things shared.  We were finishing up and I looked over to see a woman staggering down the road talking to herself.  For those of you who have been reading along, can you guess what comes next?? …..Yep.  She stops in her tracks, turns towards us, and stumbles her way over.  She asks what we are doing so I told her and before I could even finish she plops herself down in the middle of the circle.  She tells me her name is Esther.  Everyone is sitting around watching.  She is going in and out of making any sense, but manages to tell me that she is a born again believer, goes to a Baptist church there, and has a women’s Bible Study at her house every 3^rd Friday of the month.  She tells me that she tries and will live as she should but always finds herself going back.  Scovia actually told me that the words she used were “she’s like a pig always going back to the trash and slop”. She compared herself to a pig.  I told her I would like to pray for  her and she swung her head up, looking at me with eyes that were so full of hurt, and simply asked, “why would you want to pray for ME?!”  I paused.  How exactly should I respond? I found the words, “Because I love you, Esther” coming out.  To which she asks, “Why would you love ME?!”  So, I tell her that I have been loved in a way that I can’t help but share that love with others, and that love comes from Jesus Christ.  She looks at me and says, “I know you.”  I’m pretty sure it was Jesus she was referring to.  It truly was Him conveying His love to her via me.  I just felt she needed to hear that she was loved. I began praying for her, and in the middle of my prayer I hear her start weeping.  Yes, I imagine some in part from the alcohol, but I do believe she was breaking down at the weight of Christ’s love for her…the reminder that she is not forgotten.  Sweet, Esther.  We finished up with praying for the group. 

I am convinced of something; something that seems to be confirmed over and over for me here recently.  It’s not just about the individual person, whoever they are.  It could be Esther, or Yaba, or Nicholas (I’ll share about him in a minute) and yes, God does/plans to do a mighty thing with them individually, but it’s often more about all of the “others” watching.  Each time God draws a drunk to a group, or gives me direction to go specifically pay attention to another, there are people watching.  They are watching Jesus’ love for this “outcast”, the “useless” person, the “crippled”, the one that “distracts”.  Me loving them is often me loving the others by showing them Jesus through my actions.  They look at me like I’m crazy. They just don’t get it.  But, Jesus knows that.  He wants them to SEE him lived out.  I am constantly reminded of this truth as I find myself in the situation where it is completely awkward, and “not easy.” Jesus is seen not only in words, but often more so in actions.  Oh, how I pray that people see Him through my actions to love the unlovable.

So, we head out of Kinyia.  It ended up being about at 45 minute drive on the motorbike.  That’s pretty long on those things.  I enjoyed though especially since I hadn’t been out there before.  It’s always fun getting to “explore”.  J So, we get about 2/3 of the way home and I noticed that the back tire (um, aka where I was sitting) seemed to be sliding.  At first I thought it was just the road since we were driving on quite a bit of sand.  Then, it did it again and Scovia asked if there was something wrong with the tire.  I had a feeling what it was.  I hopped off and sure enough…completely flat.  Awesome. There are so many “little” things that were HUGE “God things”!! Ready???

We were simply 20 feet or so away from a mechanic who fixes bikes. God allowed it to happen right there in the town versus 5 minutes prior when we would have literally been in the jungle with no one around.  It started raining 5 minutes after getting there.  We would have been out in the boonies, in the pouring rain, pushing a motorbike. I just love Jesus.  Scovia drove it to him, and I quickly realize what the Lord has brought us upon.  Guess??......drunks. A circle of men were sitting there under the tree just a drinking and it was apparent had been for a while.  I mean, thanks God for setting up the group for me before getting there!! J Immediately I have one of them asking me for money.  Of course. They pull out chairs for us and we join them in their circle.  There was one man, James, who was not drunk.  He was very sweet and quickly I found out he was born again.  So, I start conversing with them.  James is helping translate (which I loved because he willing did so without me even asking).  Scovia and I just exchanged glances every now and then knowing we both were saying.  She knew I was saying, “Told you I belong with the drunks!” haha So, then Scovia asks where exactly we were..what the town was called. Kangapo. Immediately Scovia and I looked at each other, our mouths open, in awe of God.  Here’s the back story. A number of weeks ago I shared about Simon.  He’s the one who surrendered his life to Christ at church and I talked to about recovering from alcoholism and wanted me to come to his village….Kangapo….to talk about starting a group with the alcoholics. Because of the weather and transportation I wasn’t able to go out when I said I would, and things are just so busy it hasn’t happened.  I had JUST prayed bout it the night before, knowing I didn’t want to just forget about Simon or his village’s need, especially since the Lord allowed our path’s to cross.  So, there we were in Kangapo.  God took care of it. I mean, just too cool.  Come to find out that Simon’s home was literally right behind us, but he wasn’t home.

So, the next thing I know the men are talking about me and how I should stay there with them in their village. Right.  I joke around (you don’t know what a God-send humor is when it comes to interacting in situations when it would otherwise be totally uncomfortable) with them about how I was perfectly happy to stay there with them while the bike was getting fixed! Then, the next thing I know two of the guys are going back and forth about why I would be a better match for them. Lord, have mercy!! It went from, “I have nicer clothes” to, “But I speak English better”.  My oh my….it provided a great opportunity to share Christ’s love and that Christ doesn’t look at things on the outside, but the heart.  I was VERY clear that I was not marriage material for either of them. (of course, in a joking, yet firm way J)

So, Jesus’ love was shared in the best way possible for the circumstances with these guys.  It was actually a lot of fun.  Then it started raining really hard (to which God displayed a HUGE rainbow) so we moved under the covering of a store vs. sitting under the tree.  There, it was just Scovia and I along with James.  I got to find out his story.  He is a recovered alcoholic.  7 years sober and counting.  Yet again, a God thing.  I just knew.  So, I talked to him in depth about not only IA2 groups but also Rapha.  He has everything that would be needed to start it up there in his (and Simon’s) village!  Our tire was repaired and we drove off.  Both Scovia and I were in completely awe of our God.   

So, please be praying for this; for God to open up the time to go back out to Kangapo in the midst of the schedule of other groups so I can “train” James on leading a group.  I want him to be fully confident in his ability to do the Lord’s work there in his village, and do it well!!   

So, Wednesday brought a conversation I didn’t expect to have!  We went to Wudu for our group meeting (which was decided to turn into two now). Guess where the group members asked if it could be held…..a BAR! They were really hesitant to even ask if it could be there and my response…that’s PERFECT! I was pumped.  I mean, perfect.  So, as Scovia, Drew, and I are walking to the market area I wanted to make a stop at a group of men I’ve asked to come before, who haven’t.  There we met Johnson.  He’s in the seminary here on the church compound! He said he’d come join us for the group.  That was music to my ears and wonderful in so many ways!  So, we get there and sit for a while (as usual) and I’m chatting with Johnson, getting to know him a bit.  Come to find out, Johnson is from Kiri!! Kiri is where Yaba is!  So, I’m asking him a million questions and man, was I educated.  Come to find out, Yaba is actually 21 years old!!!!! Y’all, I would have NEVER guessed this!!  AND his parents are “landlords” of the village.  From my understanding this means they kind of “run things”. Anyways, it was confirmed there’s a ton of evil stuff involved.  Slowly but surely things are being unraveled…

Johnston might join us on Thursdays in Kiri. That’s going to be a huge blessing if so!!

Thursday went well.  I shared with a totally new group in Mondikalok.  The Gospel was shared.  One guy specifically was extremely hardened to it.  I’m praying God will use the Truth shared to break him.  We went out to Mede afterwards to meet with my sweet ladies. As always, it was a great group. There was lots and lots of sharing…leading one step closer to Phoebe surrendering to the Lord.  We went to leave and surprise, surprise the bike had a flat tire.  The same tire that was “fixed” 2 days before.  I may have caught a ride back to the office with someone driving by the Scovia knew (don’t freak out dad).  You just never know what’s next here!   

Let’s just say that Friday was tough.  I hit some serious resistance and it was tough. I came to the realization that I’m a little “grouped-out”. 

(Um, someone’s phone just went off and literally said, “Excuse me boss, someone has sent you a text message.” Awesome.)

It’s hard.  It’s tiring.  I can be draining.  All of that, yet I still love it.  But, the truth is I’m a bit grouped-out.  When you do something day in and day out, most of the time the EXACT same thing, just with different people…it’ll wear on ya.  It felt good just to admit that.  That’s really 99% of it.  I lay it out there, and then God proves He’s faithful to provide what I need. He provides the rest.  He provides the strength. He provides the joy. He provides the perseverance.  He provides the desire to push on so many can come to know Him and grow in their relationships with Him. He provides it ALL.

So, I saw Yaba on Friday.  I went and grabbed him and we walked to go buy some bread.  He was so excited.  I just love seeing the smile on his face.  I am also reminded that providing him the earthly needs is only the path to providing him what he needs spiritually.  Not many were interseted in joining the group today.  I knew today I was going to "take it a step further" with Yaba.  He was going to be my personal friend.  Others were going to see this.  So, after a lady chased him away from me when I was buying bread and I tried telling her I ASKED him to stand right by me, we went to find a place to sit for the group. (Yes, sometimes I struggle with what I just typed...and then I'm reminded that they need to SEE Jesus in my words and actions...to keep on keepin' on) So, I sit on a small bench, only big enough for 3.  I tell Yaba to come sit right next to me...on the bench.  This is NOT what Yaba does. He's always sitting on the ground while everyone else is sitting on a bench or a grass mat.  He looks at me almost as if to say, "You want me to do WHAT?" haha. So, he sits and almost immediately a man comes up and says ,"WHY is he sitting there?" So, I gently said, "because I asked him to. I invited him".  So, then I get, "But why is HE sitting there." I smiled.  I looked at Yaba, listening, and said, "HE is sitting here because he is my friend and I invited him to come join us just like everyone else." He was dumbfounded.  He just shook his head and walked off.  I consider this a HUGE success!! :) They noticed.  YES! So, group pretty much consited of Abuba Peresi (the sweet old lady), Yaba, and a random man that I have never seen before.  Oh, and the random lady who walked up, asked why I was there, found out, and walked off.  More resistance lately.  Anyways, so Yaba sat by me the entire time.  It was wonderful.  He just sat there and ate his bread, occasionally touching my arm or grabbing my hand, wanting my attention.  When it was time to go, he didn't want me to as usual.  I reassured him i'd see him next week.  The love I have for Yaba truly is one that could only come from God....

I just love how God loves me.  Saturday’s group at Leikor went SO GOOD.  There were a number of women that really expressed their growth.  There was one specific older woman who specifically wanted me to know how great it was that I was coming to them with the Word.  She told me that she was so thankful that I allowed them to give their input and thought.  She was so thankful I didn’t come just to tell them what the Word said, but to allow them to work through it themselves.  She said how great it was that they could have a chance to go out and be changed and them come back and share about their lives and how they changed.  I mean, all of the things I plead the Lord about/for.  He knew I needed encouraging.  He provided it in a beautiful way.  Everything she said is exactly what I hope is accomplished through these IA2 groups.  Exactly.  Yet again, He knew.

We went through Ruth Chapter 1 at the Women’s Bible Study from my church later that afternoon.  It was a very small showing, but went really well.  I just love the book of Ruth.

I’ll have to share more about Saturday evening and Sunday on the next blog…I want to at least get this up for you!

LOVE!

Jess