There are times I find myself stopping dead in my tracks and looking at my life and pondering. Literally, it's like something hits me and the Lord grabs my attention. Different life circumstances tend to make me take a step back and think upon specific situations I've been in, attitudes I've had or haven't had, and emotions I've battled or embraced. The bitter sweet things in life are the most intriguing to me. The fact that a person can feel two of the most opposite emotions at one time, regarding a situation or person just blows my mind. Only God could create such a being. Only God could love such a being the way He does! As I was stirring the big pot of marshmallows and margarine tonight, or should I say a huge gob of sugary mess, the Lord reminded me of His sweet, sweet truth. Ironic? I think not. I stared at the creamy white fluff and got lost in one of his many beautiful stories, my life. Where am I at in the story of my life right now? Well, I find myself in a place where I've never been stretched quite like I have in the past 3 months or so--specifically in the precise ways He's decided to stretch me this time. My job isn't really a job at all. Yes, I accomplish "work"..whatever that means anyways, but it truly is an opportunity to serve the Lord in many ways. It's my opportunity. It's my ministry. I am in a constant battle of the flesh--my selfishness, my wants, my feelings, etc. and reminded with an urgency that those have to be thrown (not placed) out the door if I'm to love others as He loves me. If I am to impact as He desires me to impact, for His glory, then I am to truly live His life, not mine. I am to give of my time, exhaust my patience, pour out my love, lavish grace, and exude in joy. You see, none of that is even mine to give, but His from the beginning so who am I to keep it to myself? There are more nights than not these past few months that I lay my head down and I am exhausted in every sense of the word. I don't have one more encouraging word, one ounce of patience left, or the energy to go up one flight of sitars. At least, that's how I feel. Truly though, should it be any other way?? Should I have anything left? Shouldn't I have poured out everything to those the Lord placed in my life that day in order to be filled back up by Him for another day? I often hear the words "in your weaknesses, I am strong" over and over and over in my head as I answer the phone again, get in my car again, console again. What a privilege!! What an honor to serve those He loves, adores, cherishes, created!
I came across a blog that truly spoke the teachings I hadn't put into words quite yet. Yet again, His perfect timing. It is titled EGRs . Here's a glimpse..
One category of "widows and orphans" that's easy to overlook is the socially poor. In one of my former circles, we referred to them as EGRs—extra grace required. I look back on that now and cringe. What made us think that we weren't EGRs ourselves? ......We all know such people (maybe you and I are among them), and they are among those whom God calls needy. They are typically very lonely people because sooner or later they alienate everyone around them. Such people aren’t in need of our money or anything material, which is why we often fail to recognize them as “widows and orphans.” What they need is our friendship. What they often get, if anything, is merely our pity, and after a polite word or two, we are quick to move away.To care for this sort of "widow and orphan" is sometimes nothing more than being willing to listen—again. It is to offer encouragement—again. It is to steer them along a godly path—again. It is to stay alongside them when every fiber of our being yearns to be anywhere but in their company. Gritting our teeth and doing it isn’t enough. They might be unable to tell the difference between politeness and genuine caring, but God can tell. Yet the only way we can do it without gritted teeth is by means of God’s grace. If we ask him for the ability to love the EGRs around us, he will give it to us. After all, he has only EGRs to love.
God has purposed me to be where I am right now. I am single and able to pour out to the college age Bible study that I help with-give rides, buy meals, and pray whole heatedly, I am able to stay at work late listening to a confused and broken heart, I am able to stay up way past bed time making rice crispy treats for the post-college life group I'm in and enjoy the smiles on the guys faces while eating them knowing they would most likely never make them themselves (I'm assuming, we'll see if it comes true tomorrow night :), I can drive to Dallas on a work night and stay out late when a friend needs me, I can go to Uganda and be changed from the inside out, I can serve my God and call to Him as my ultimate companion, comforter and all in all, knowing that He is truly all I need. I do pray one day, Lord willing, I will have a like minded partner to serve with. (Trust me, He hears many of these prayers!) If it's tomorrow He sends him my way, praise God! If it's way off in the future, I still praise you Father and ask for patience! haha...But for now, for today, truly I am so grateful for my life and the fact that it is full of making Rice Crispy Treats!!!
"Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient, with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:12-18
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