It amazes me. I am amazed at how God works. As I sit here right now I am so tired--physically and emotionally. I could lay my head down right now and be out in mere minutes and honestly, I don't even want to type this all out. But, it's because of that I feel for some reason this time I should. What amazes me is how the Lord knows each and every intricate detail of what I need and when I need it. It also amazes me how He faithfully fills me up in His perfect timing knowing that trials and such will come my way so that I have a wealth of His love, encouragement, and purpose to draw from. This past weekend was so refreshing. I was able to go to Arizona for my cousin's wedding. Can I say that it was absolutely beautiful and I was blessed by it. I took a ton of pictures and enjoyed each and every one of them! I was given opportunities to share the Good News and share the Good News is what I did! It is literally one of the greatest joys in my life. It energizes me, encourages me, sanctifies me, and challenges me each and every time I am afforded the opportunity to have something as pure and beautiful as the Gospel grace my lips and into some one's ears. It's as if everything around me disappears but me and the person I'm talking to. I suppose that's because nothing else at that moment comes close to being as important as the message I am called to share. If only that were how I treated each and every moment--insignificant if not used in a way to share Christ in one way or another. I am rejuvenated and I fall more in love with my Redeemer when I am asked to tell about Him. I love that about my Love. I love that I can share about what He accomplished and what that means for the person I'm talking to--knowing what that means for me--knowing that it's coming from one depraved, sinful soul desperately in need of God's grace to another needing just the same with a sincere and desperate desire to see others have the joy, peace, and trust that Christ provides to those who surrender their live in obedience to the will of the Father.
So, from this weekend, I'm pumped, filled, and plain full of joy. I get to work today, faithfully deal with the plate that the Lord served, and I sit here now-just getting home about 30 minutes ago-and I'm drained. I am so disappointed in some circumstances--scratch that...choices, rather. If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times--life is all about choices. Then, the consequences to those choices, good or bad. Disappointment is an interesting thing. It's almost like it hits you like a load of bricks when you don't expect it. I got hit right in the stomach with a load of bricks today. I think what makes it so real is how I see myself even in being disappointed in someone else who is making bad choices that will effect her life and others that she cares about years down the road. I am reminded how I treat the Lord too often and how I make bad choices that don't always please the Lord too often and how I willingly disobey the Lord to follow my own selfish desires too often. It grieves me to know what I feel is how I make the Lord feel...even IF it were just once! Lord knows, it's more than that though. The desire to beg and plead and SHAKE a person into the right path, to MAKE them see what they are doing is only hurting themselves, to tell them you love them, support them, and only want what's best for them enough that they'll go on the path of righteousness is overwhelming. I thank God that He knows what we need and that He allows us to be broken so He can fix us. I thank God for forgiveness when we sin. I thank God for grace when we don't deserve diddly-squat. I thank God for love when we feel unlovable. I thank God for a warm embrace when we feel vulnerable. I thank God for friends when we feel alone. I thank God for being the ONLY thing that can completely and wholeheartedly satisfy the void we have--the void created precisely for Him! I've been reminded by a friend that if we stay grieved every time someone makes a bad decision we would never have any joy and that is not what God wants for us. Our part is to faithfully pray for them and still be joyful. So hard, but I wouldn't want to displease the Lord by lacking in joy when I have so much to be bursting from the seams with joy about! (My weekend, for instance!).
I can't help but feel like a disappointed parent today. I've said many times that I just don't know how I'll cope with parenthood! My heart breaks for those that aren't my blood, much less a child created by my own DNA (Lord willing one day)! My hats off to those who the Lord has entrusted little guys and gals to..who grow up to be men and women. It is an investment that no price can be put on. I just looked at my mini-devotion calender thingy on my desk and read this...
"And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and
sacrificed them as food to the idols. Was your prostitution not
enough? You slaughtered my children and sacrificed them to the
idols." Ezekiel 16: 20-21
Parenting requires undergirding our children with prayer, enveloping them
with love, and overshadowing them with consistent spiritual nurture. It
requires training through lifestyle and faithful instruction. --Dorothy
Patterson
I think I'd be safe to say this could apply to believers living as an example to anyone and everyone. Yet again, God's perfect timing to speak Truth to me.
I sin. I disappoint. He forgives. He provides.
I owe Him my life. He willingly gave me His.
I am saved! Hallelujah!!!
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