I should definitely be asleep right now. Who was I kidding telling myself I'd get a good night's rest the night before I leave for Africa?! Yeah, right. Plus, the hour and a half nap I took today doesn't help much. After my millionth trip to Wal-mart ( I could do without going there again for a looong time) I am completely packed and ready to go! Yeahhh! You should have seen my mom and I today...squeezing, stuffing, folding, zipping, me tripping as I was trying to hurry across the room and flying across the room straight into my mom. I gave her a left shoulder straight into her gut like I was trying out for O-line. You had to be there, it was HILARIOUS. :) (Once I realized my toe was still attached and my mom could breathe) It's definitely one of those things I will think about at a later date and laugh just as hard.
So...to finish up my pre-Africa story.
After college Africa and the need of those precious people would come up every now and then. Whether it was the testimony of someone who had been there, something at church, or personally looking stuff up, it didn't completely leave my mind...or my heart.
The summer of 07 came around and my good friend Jon told me he had decided to go to Ethiopia pretty last minute and that the Lord had provided what he needed! I was so privileged to be a prayer warrior for him and his trip while he was gone. I found it odd how passionate I was to pray for Ethiopia as a country and the people that would be touched by Jon and the others in his group. Never-the-less I faithfully prayed and through my prayer I began to question my desire to actually want to BE there. I found the thought of actually going to Africa didn't make my stomach twist with anxiety and I for the first time I didn't push the thought to the side and ignore it completely. I began praying for the Lord to reveal his will to me..whatever that may be. All I knew is something was different.
After a month or so, I was pretty convinced the Lord was asking me what it was I was scared of. I knew it was a matter of obedience to His will and not my fears. I didn't mention anything to anyone because I didn't want to jump the gun until I was FOR SURE I knew what the Lord wanted. I think deep down I knew at this point there would be a time the Lord would open a door that would deal somehow with Africa. I prayed specifically that the Lord would provide me with ways to know His will and would put people in my life that He would use to speak to me.
Then, the college group bible study started up at my pastor's house in August. The VERY first bible study my pastor had one of the guys speak about his summer. He opened up his mouth and I knew. He had spent all summer in Africa. He had ministered in Uganda and a few other places through out the summer and as he was telling us all of his experiences and the AMAZING works of the Lord I was hanging on every last word. I couldn't get enough. I think I might have even said "I want to do that". Then, I thought "Holy cow, I WANT to do that...I have a desire to actually go to Africa!" I talked to him after bible study and he encouraged me to go if the Lord provided a way. It wasn't soon after that I began telling people I was going to Africa...My exact words would be "I don't know when. I don't know how. I don't know exactly where, but I'm going."
I couldn't tell you how many times I repeated that phrase. I was so humbled to see the Lord actively change my desires. I was in awe that He would allow me to see clearly His will and answer my prayers to the tee. Now, he continuously asked me "Do you trust me? Do you really trust me?"
November of 07 rolls around and I'm doing my thing...I had been working at the Baptist Home for just about a year and still truckin' along in grad school as well as being involved in church stuff. The idea of starting up an international adoption program and floated around a couple of times over the past few months but nothing serious what-so-ever. Then, around November my boss had mentioned to me that she was researching what it would take to actually start one up just to get some information and I began reading things, etc. For some reason Ethiopia adoptions kept popping up in our research and my boss had mentioned it to me a couple of times. One day I remember sitting at my desk and was hit with a thought. "Oh, man. What if WORK is the way the Lord plans on sending me to Africa!?!!" I was beyond myself and couldn't help but to laugh because leave it up to the Lord to plan something like that out. I would have NEVER even entertained that would be a possibility. I just kept that thought to myself and went on my way.
December of 07 comes around and my boss informs me that the decision had been made to start up the international adoption program. I was ecstatic as you can imagine. It didn't promise me that I would go anywhere and I knew that--I honestly didn't really expect that because another lady we work with has been a missionary for years and at the time was in a position to be the one to travel for that purpose. Then, the middle of December came and my boss came into my office and sat down. First thing she asked was if I had a passport. I hesitantly told her I did. She then let me know that there was a trip planned to Ethiopia and Kenya with a number of couples wanting to adopt and that the other lady we work with couldn't go and Jami didn't have her passport and wouldn't get it in time. She then said that management okay-ed it for me to go. She didn't get through the sentence before I yelled. " I"LL GO!!!" She laughed and told me that before I made any decisions I need to check my school schedule and pray about it. She then told me that the trip would be in about a month. My mouth just dropped. So soon.
I prayed. Then, I prayed some more. I was going. The next week and a half or so was so crazy. I found out the details of the trip the exact dates, etc. I was pumped and told everyone! Then I was informed that the contact person had filled my spot and they were going to try and see if they could get another spot for the trip so it wasn't a done deal. I was floored. I hadn't been so disappointed in a long time. I wanted to cry. Wait, I did. Yet again, "Do you trust me??" I heard a soft, sweet voice saying "You JUST prayed for Me to close any doors if it's not My will...and now you're upset because I'm doing just that?! Rest in Me, child." I was told there was a pretty good chance it'd work out and I didn't have much time to raise support. I need A TON of support. $5,000 worth. The amazing thing is that didn't concern me one bit. I just knew that He would provide. After all I had been though on the journey to obey when he commanded, I didn't freak out about the money. (Trust me, others sure did) I made the decision to send out support letters and send out support letters is just what I did. A lot of them.
Then, came the news. The Baptist Home had made the decision for a number of reasons that the International Adoption Program wasn't' something they were going to pursue at the time. I couldn't believe it. Yet, I had a peace. Then I was told that the trip was still a go. I was still going to be able to go to Ethiopia and Kenya.
Then in January, the chaos in Kenya changed everything. The trip was postponed. (much to my parents' great pleasure!) I will flat out tell you that I would have still gone if I was allowed to. But, it wasn't the Lord's will. That's when I began wondering what in the world the Lord was doing. It happened fast, it stopped fast. Door WIDE open, door SLAMMED shut. The whole time..."Obey, rest, trust...". Don't get me wrong, there were times I was weary. Hence the need for the reminders.
February went by and there was word that the Ethiopia and Kenya trip was most likely rescheduled for March but it wasn't set in stone considering the unpredictability in Kenya. I had started to look into other options for trips going to Africa. I just wanted to see what was out there...different organizations, different countries, different mission opportunities. I began to pray again that the Lord would reveal His will specifically to me. (I've prayed the burning bush prayer one too many times to count) Then, I went to church on a Sunday and my at the very beginning of the service the announcements were being made and it was about the mission trip opportunities. I was looking down at something and heard them say Uganda and I got that same 'feeling'. Ya know, that feeling I ignored so many times in college? Out of everything that was being said that was the only thing I heard. Uganda. So, I asked about that trip and found out there was an informational meeting coming up for the trip. I knew I would be in attendance of that meeting. I mentioned it to my boss and asked all the job type questions pertaining to going on a trip. After praying a few days and talking it over with a couple of people I knew. THIS is what the Lord had for me. Of course I joked and laughed because I thought that about the other one, too. I knew He could change the plans at any minute but until He did I knew this was for me.
If someone would have seen me from the window, they would have thought I was crazy. I got the call from my boss saying that all of my requests for time off were approved--the last thing to seal the deal. I hung up and started screaming shouts of joy and jumping up and down and running around the living room yelling "YES YES YESSS!" (I was home by myself) and then I collapsed and fell to my knees and bawled thanking the Lord for his sovereignty and faithfulness even when I have such little faith.
The rest is history. I took care of all the support stuff (remember I sent out support letters months back for a completely different trip) and the Lord provided just as He said he would financially. I couldn't be more excited. Oh, and the people I'm going with (4 others) are so fun. Crazy fun. He amazes me. Truly amazes me.
If you don't take anything else away from this, please take away the truth that God is sovereign and KNOWS what is best for us. He protects, loves, and stretches us for our own good and ultimately for His glory. He asks us to obey him REGARDLESS of the cost, and doesn't take that light. He rejoices with us in our joy!!!
Hopefully, the next time for this will be once I'm in Africa!! I can't wait to share God's trip with you!
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