Friday, April 23, 2010
New Year in April, Part 2
· January
o I get a call at 2 in the morning that my sister’s apartment complex was on fire and she made it out with her dog, the clothes on her back, and her purse. That’s it. Her dog woke her up barking and that’s the only reason she woke up.
o I was involved in a very weird (or as a friend of mine reminded me, just unfamiliar) situation that looking back was a total blessing to me as a mere vessel.
o My older brother got in a pretty bad car wreck, as a result had tests done and an unrelated mass was found on his kidney
· February
o It was confirmed that my older brother had kidney cancer.
o My roommate began an extremely difficult process unexpectedly
· March
o Boy stuff--I’ll just leave it at that :)
o Finally approved to counsel as an LPC-Intern
o Really really really really really taxing situation with someone very close to me
o My oldest nephew, Grayson gave his life to Jesus!!
o My older brother has surgery to remove the cancerous mass and a ¼ of his kidney (couldn’t have gone better!)
o Offered a director’s position at work-told I had until end of may to decide and with circumstances changing, was told two weeks later told they needed to know by Monday if I was going to take the position (it was Thursday)
o great uncle dies
o Accepted director’s position
o March 30th—my dad and I had a conversation that led to me being made aware that he truly grasps the saving power and grace of Jesus in his life and what the looks like for him now in a relationship with Christ. (10 years of prayer and Jesus saw it pleasing to allow me to see this beauty)
o April 4th- It was a very special Easter -dad came to church with me!
· APRIL
o Transition with work…finishing up current job while training for the new position
· May 1st.
o HAPPY NEW YEAR! New position officially
So, as you can see there has been a lot. As before, this will have to be continued...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
New Year in April, Part 1
However, right now is a time for typing.
I have found myself it this place many times before—wrapped up in the whirlwind of the life the Lord has given me. It takes effort, sometimes painstakingly so, to stop, sit, be. I’ve had to chew on this for a while and no doubt, will continue to.
I feel like a new year started this month. It’s my new year. I read something today and it talked about a spiritual awakening. It just sat with me. There’s something fresh coming and I think the Lord has been preparing me for quite a while now. Happy New Year to me!
Change—it’s a comin’. (Actually, it’s already come)Will it ever lose its scariness? I mean, it’s different for different people, but overall that 6 letter word just does something to me. It’s like I want to conquer it and never fight it again. Not in the, “I don’t want it to ever come my way again” sense, but the “I want to conquer the desire to run from it” sense. Maybe one day. I’m getting better (way better), by God’s grace alone.
This may seem off topic, but can I just say that I literally have the best friends in the world. I’m not exaggerating, either. God has made me abundantly clear on this. It was a year ago this Month (yet again, New Year—not so off topic) that I began going to a Bible Study that a friend of mine invited me to. I didn’t want to go that night. I really didn’t want to go. I remember being so tired and worn out and not expecting much, yet felt the need to make myself go, knowing how desperately I needed the fellowship with people my age. There are not words to express how genuinely glad I am that I dragged myself there. These people aren’t just my friends, they are my family. Truly. God has fed me in ways I didn’t know I needed and has allowed me to in return feed others. God’s blessing is on this group. I’ve never seen anything like it.
More to come...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Without the Gospel
Without the gospel everything is useless and vain; without the gospel we are not Christians; without the gospel all riches is poverty, all wisdom folly before God; strength is weakness, and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God. But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made children of God, brothers of Jesus Christ, fellow townsmen with the saints, citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven, heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom the poor are made rich, the weak strong, the fools wise, the sinner justified, the desolate comforted, the doubting sure, and slaves free. It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.
It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone. For, he was sold, to buy us back; captive, to deliver us; condemned, to absolve us; he was made a curse for our blessing, sin offering for our righteousness; marred that we may be made fair; he died for our life; so that by him fury is made gentle, wrath appeased, darkness turned into light, fear reassured, despisal despised, debt canceled, labor lightened, sadness made merry, misfortune made fortunate, difficulty easy, disorder ordered, division united, ignominy ennobled, rebellion subjected, intimidation intimidated, ambush uncovered, assaults assailed, force forced back, combat combated, war warred against, vengeance avenged, torment tormented, damnation damned, the abyss sunk into the abyss, hell transfixed, death dead, mortality made immortal. In short, mercy has swallowed up all misery, and goodness all misfortune.
For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit. If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation [life] is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things. And we are comforted in tribulation, joyful in sorrow, glorying under vituperation [verbal abuse], abounding in poverty, warmed in our nakedness, patient amongst evils, living in death.
This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Swing
Today, I swung.
All of these things flashed in my head as I went up and down, up and down. The park I was at sure has served a lot of purposes through out the years. All the way from being a toddler when my mom would take my siblings and me on perfect weather days so we could get all of our energy out to days like today as an adult, when I simply needed to swing. Driving home from an adoption celebration today, with all the emotions that are involved, I found myself pulling into the park where I’ve pulled into many times before. I wanted to swing. I tried to think back to the last time I had and couldn’t remember. That bothered me.
Simply walking up to the swings brought joy to me. Hearing the sounds of little kids running around and laughing brought me joy, looking to my left and seeing a father running around with his daughter brought me joy, and looking to my right and seeing children climb the same random metal object that I use to at their age brought me joy. The simplicity of it all was overwhelming and I wanted to swim in it. I sat down in the swing and was quickly reminded how much more comfortable the swings were as a child with a child-like body. Nevertheless, I began. Swing my legs forward, swing my legs back. It was comforting—the rhythm of my legs swinging, the creaking of the metal chains with the same tune each and every time, and the way my hair would fly forward and then back.
I don’t think I realized how still the trees were before. They were solid, secure, and bold. Then I realized how everything seemed so still—but me. Purposeless? Never. He speaks to me in such neat ways. I could hear him saying, “I love you, child. Rest in Me.” As I’ve heard so many times before when I cry out to him, I heard again, “Wait. Be Still. I have great things planned for you.”
I closed my eyes. The air smelled so sweet and fresh. Hair forward, hair back. Feet forward, feet back. I was drawn back to college. There was a park a few blocks down from where I lived. It was at Chicago and 27th-ish. I loved that park. I used to go there frequently, usually by myself. I would go to swing. The best times were right before it got dark because hardly anyone would be there. I would swing and sing as loud as I wanted until my little heart was content. Man, I miss those days. I had many conversations with the Lord at that park while swinging. What a blessing that little park was to me.
I snapped back to now and wondered how many times I’ve missed my times to swing. Often. I’m always busy. Always. If I’m not busy, I’m often distracted by things that are pointless for what actually matters. I didn’t have to even say it out loud, He knew my heart—I was sorry, asking for forgiveness again. Beautiful grace, mercy, and forgiveness were waiting for me.
My swinging was over and my heart was lighter.
Today was a good day for a swing.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Home
Torn between two places,
Jess
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Elephants, Giraffes, Hippos, Oh, my!
I have just a few minutes because my time is about to run out. We left early this morning for Murchison Falls Game park.....already we've taken our boat ride down the Nile.....beauty at it's finest I must say!!! We've seen some of God's beautiful creations!! We even got rained on ...a lot. I don't think i'll ever mind getting rained on while riding in a boat down the nile river as i'm taking pictures of hippos, HUGE alligators, birds, water buffallo, etc.... :)
Early in the morning we head out for our safarri...i'm praying we see a lion!! That would be AWESOME!!
K...gotta run...it won't be long and we'll be home...
Love,
Jess
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Kipak Lubang
I'm learning a bit of Acholi and it's so fun!! You should see the Acholi people's faces when I bust out with a few sentences. haha...good stuff.
Yesterday we went out to a IDP camp and got to share the Gospel from hut to hut. It was wonderful and one lady we shared with surrendered her life. For time's purposes I'll keep it short but God was glorified and the truth was shared.
Today we got to hang out for a long time with Fransisco the Administrator for Favor of God. He told us his whole testimony. It's awe inspiring. God has a plan and that plan will come to fulfillment. Praise the Lord!!
OH I am so excited..I had an African dress made for me. It's beautiful. :) I cannot wait to wear it!!!
Okay, headed to dinner with some friends of Norma's. I can't believe our time here is almost up. It's so hard...but God's grace is totally sufficient.
Keep praying!
Jess
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Front and Center
The day started out with us going to to Gulu Bible Community Church (Norma's church). Man, it puts worship into perspective. I love the freedom to dance and sing to the Lord. So fun. After church we grabbed lunch at the mission house really fast...and can I say it was my favorite meal from last year. I was so excited!! Simply, it's pretty much like scrambled eggs with onions and peppers and tomatoes. Then we had noodles and beans--staple food here. Then we headed with Sam and a few others to the military barracks--the hospital there. The team split into two and one team went on one side and we went on the other. I was blessed to share the Word with a number of the soldiers and their families. I spoke on Prov. 37:3-8. I was glad the Lord gave that to me this morning in my quiet time because I wasn't planning on speaking. I love that--God says speak, and I speak. No question about it-He always provides the words-His words. Then, Sam ( a wonderful guy who loves the Lord that works for Favor of God) shared his testimony and shared the Gospel clearly. When he asked those to raise their hands who wanted to surrender their lives to Christ..to live for him the hands flew up...about 10. I couldn't help but rejoice and praise God!! We were then able to go to each individual -believer and not and pray for them specifically..for their sickness, etc. It was amazing.
Then, from there Norma had told us that there was supposed to be a women's march through Gulu town-"March for Jesus" to begin a conference that was starting in town. I told her it would be amazing to get to record some of that. So, we found where it was going to start and sat in the van for a little and watched as they were praying. Then, a couple of the lady's from Favor of God came to us and asked if we wanted to march with them. Of course, I was in. What an opportunity. But you just wait...it gets better. Eric was going to as well...haha..march for women. :) (there were a few men, too but it would have been funny if there weren't any..but mazungu Eric) Anyways, Kristine had us get in line and kept telling me to go up to the front. It is so embarrassing at times to be such an honored guest..i would rather just blend in..but that's how it is here so you just accept it and say thank you. So we went up to about half way. Then Kristine and Mama Joyce asked if I wanted to hold a banner. They had a banners for all over East Africa. I was so humbled and of course, said YES!!! So they handed me a banner (on a stick aka a huge flag) So, I was just so honored and SO excited...what a privilege. AND THEN I'm standing there just basking in how awesome God is and I clue in on the fact that everyone is looking at me and I'm thinking "hmm what does that mean?!" and then Kristine said, "Go, Go..they want the Gulu banner in the FRONT!" ....that's when I looked up and I realized I HAD THE GULU BANNER....my mouth just dropped open as the 2 lines of women gently pushed me forward.
I LED THE MARCH. I WAS IN THE VERY FRONT WITH THE GULU BANNER. A MAZUNGU FROM TEXAS LED THE WOMEN'S JESUS MARCH THROUGH GULU TOWN. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!!!
I am still just so amazed. I can't help but laugh. God is just so wonderful...it was so powerful and I was just so honored. I couldn't help but repeat over and over..."Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus." Being a part of something like this is definitely something that I will NEVER forget...and Eric was so nice to capture it ALL in pictures..and Sherry captured it all on film!!! You just wait...the pictures are wonderful. I'm giddy. Seriously.
After a couple hours we walked out of the march...it was going to last over 4 hours. Then we went to the coffee shop that is owned in Gulu by a sweet couple from Austin, TX. True austinites bringing the coffee shop to Gulu. Imagine that. :) It was wonderful and relaxing.
When we got home to Norma's we were just hanging out and it wasn't long before we heard little knocking on the gate. The twin boys and a friend of theirs were back. They wouldn't talk to us for the first 20 minutes they were here... They were hungry again...they had only tea today. So, we fed them and their friend and Eric loved on them. They are more hungry for love and affection than they are for food I think. Oh, and get this. I was so angry earlier. I found out Norma talked to the woman that they kids live with and just like we suspected...the older people and her took the food we we sent them home with yesterday and today. I hate that. With a passion. I thank God He knows when to spare me from certain opportunities because if I were there when Norma had ran into her I probably would have opened my mouth and been rude because that just burns me to no end. It's this culture and I am NOT okay with it and honestly, I don't apologize for that. Children are precious to the Lord and they DO NOT deserve to be neglected and purposely left to the side. Sheesh. Okay, I'm done with that for now. I trust the Lord will provide for them. He loves them more than I ever could and HE is the judge of everyone. Thank you, Jesus.
We had some wonderful avocados tonight. Yummm. My favorite.
Today was absolute wonderful and memorable. I give all glory to you, Jesus.
Love. Love. Love.
Jess
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
I do pray often that the Lord will break my heart for what breaks His. Today that was accomplished. Thank you, Jesus.
Friday, July 3, 2009
I ate a piece of meat...
So, I spent all day in prison. I would spend all my days in prison if they consisted of what today's consisted of. I find myself continually thinking, "How do I expain this in words??" It's so hard. Favor of God Ministries goes to the Ugandan Government Prison often and ministers to the inmates there. They bring them Bibles and other reading materia. They bring absolute TRUTH to those that are hungry and thirsty for change...for Jesus. Yesterday and today they did what they call a conference. They had a number of different pastors and speakers come to speak on the theme of the conference.."Let my people go." Oh, man, the spiritual and literal meaning was abundant. I am so full right now I just can't stop thinking on all of the Truth that was shared over the number of hours we sat there. First off, let me explain what it looks like. You walk up to this HUGE SOLID metal door. There is no handle on the oustide. You have to stand there and wait for the guard to let you in a small door in the center of the HUGE SOLID metal door. You can only take in your Bible and water. That's it. They lock you in a center area and close one door ..when that is bolt locked they then open the other one to enter into the prison courts. It's just a huge open field with the buildings in a squre around it. We walk straight across the field to the new building build specifically for the prison fellowship. (aka the church) You can hear the voices of praise before you even get into the Prison....it just draws you in. Once we get to the building they have plastic lawn chairs (which are really good chairs here) up in the front for their guests to sit. Everyone else sits on the floor on rice mats. So, we americans get the nicest of nice. It's so humbling and I hate it. But, out of respect we do as they wish becuase it's a privledge for them....we get served the bottled cokes...no one else. It's just amazing...
Okay, lacking time...more later.
Jess