Insurmountable & Undeniable

It was decided that I would head out with half of the team (Rebecca, Andrew, and Ami) to a village called Lukalili to do a church plant on Friday the 17^th.  Of course, I was excited to get out there and see all the Lord had in store for this first day out in Lukalili.  Plus, how cool of a name is Lukalili?! Go ahead, I know you want to try and say it out loud….LUKE-UH-LEE-LEE.  The other half of the team headed out to a different village called Longira to plant a church.

We arrived and were welcomed by dancing and singing.  It never gets old.  Everyone introduced themselves and off we went.  Rebecca shared the Gospel to everyone there while Andrew and Ami walked around, each with an Evangecube so everyone could see.  I went around taking pictures at this point.  Rebecca came to the end of the story and asked if there was anyone who wanted to surrender to Jesus. 

Silence. 

Again, she reworded and asked.

 Silence.   

It would be so easy to be discouraged at this point…if you fell into the trap of thinking that silence meant a lack of success, failure.  Not so.  Not even close, actually.  If there’s something I had learned in my time there, it was that those listening almost always have questions, but because of one reason or another (most specific to their culture) they are hesitant to speak up.  They need time.  They need a little pushing and prodding.  They need things to be asked in a way that they understand.  They need loving patience.

So, I stepped in and began to ask if there were any questions and pushed a prodded a bit in a way that prior to coming I can promise you I would not have felt comfortable doing.  A few began speaking up. Then, I noticed a man who walked up and joined the group, sitting in a chair on the end of the group of people.  After there were a few who were willing to speak up and ask questions, I asked if there was anyone who simply realized their need of Jesus. 

His hand rose.

The man I saw walk up and sit on the outskirts of the group raised his hand.  He began to explain to us that he had just walked there directly from the bar and from drinking.  He explained that he was drunk and just knew he was supposed to come in the direction of where we were.  He found us there and expressed that he and his family needed Jesus. 

Immediately, just as in the groups I was a part of, I knew God had sent this young man not only for his sake, but for the sake of everyone else who was sitting there listening and watching.  I felt so powerfully led by the Spirit to go to over to the man personally and let him know that he was and is loved.  I knelt down in front of him, looking into his eyes that were so evidently filled with pain and brokenness and told him 3 of the most powerful words that I have found myself privileged to say over and over to so many. 

Jesus loves you. He loves you.

What a reminder that He indeed loves me, too.  I am beyond humbled each time.  I am never in a place in my life that I don’t need to be reminded of His insurmountable and undeniable love for me. It is constant.

I spoke to Simon for a few minutes and loud enough so everyone else could hear, too.  Remember, it wasn’t just for Simon that Jesus sent him there.  Simply, the Gospel was shared again, but this time in a more personal, intimate fashion.  Simon confessed that he needed Jesus.  He confessed that his family situation was bad, that there was a lot of fighting, and that he knew it was because Jesus wasn’t a part of him or his family. 

He wanted to pray to receive Jesus.  I looked up and Rebecca, Ami, and Andrew were walking over to come pray with Simon.  I asked Andrew if would mind being the one to lead Simon in prayer.  It was beautiful…..and everyone watched Jesus’ love conquer.

We finished up and split into two groups to go evangelizing hut to hut and inviting those we shared with to come to the afternoon discipleship time. Ami and Rebecca headed one direction with a couple translators and Andrew and I headed the other direction with Kenyi, our translator.

Since I felt completely comfortable, I wanted to purposely let Andrew take the lead to “get his feet wet”.  Let me tell you, it was just so encouraging to see someone else with the same passion I have, ministering to the people I literally adore, glorifying our sweet Jesus.  He got pretty much every major cultural barrier and excuse thrown at him in regards to religion—an elderly lady sharing that she had her name on a list at her specific denomination’s church which guaranteed (as she was told) she’d have someone to bury her which meant she was going to Heaven, a middle aged woman saying that she drank alcohol so she couldn’t be a follower of Christ, another woman saying that she wanted to wait to confess Christ, sometime in the future, and then a 15 year old boy named Isaac who had never heard of Jesus before.  It was so good for him to just be thrown in like that.  It was also fun to see him be stretched as these people genuinely shared (a huge blessing in and of itself) the truth of where they were at.  Oh, by the way, Isaac surrendered his life to Christ right there after simply hearing what Jesus did for him.  When I asked Him if He wanted to know Jesus, he responded with, “Yes.” as if to say, “How could I not knowing what I now know?”  ….innocence of children, I tell ya….

After visiting with them it was time to head back and we finished up our day in Lukalili with a time of discipleship.  Simply, this is a chance for everyone to get together for iron to sharpen iron.  It was a Q&A format.  So many great questions were asked. They don’t hold back and I love it.  It was yet again a really great introduction for Rebecca and Andrew, who will be living there for a year to hear a lot of the questions that are commonly asked and issues that are often having to be worked through.  This  can be anything from alcoholism to sanctification to polygamy to church discipline to spiritual attacks.

Before heading out to Lukalili I had tried to arrange things so I would be able to go to Kiri for my last group and to say my goodbye’s that afternoon.  The Lord is just so good.  It ended up that we finished in Lukalili at the exact time we would need to leave to head to Kiri.  Not only that, but our driver and everyone else were gracious enough to go along with me so we could make it happen.    

Be on the lookout for the next post.  You don’t want to miss out on what the Lord accomplished in Kiri with Yaba and Abuba Poresi….

He's Always Got More in Store

Before I knew it, I was lying under my mosquito net, about to fall asleep, and the reality that it would be my last night in “my” room hit me.  Sleep became the last thing of importance at that moment, replaced by a whirlwind of memories, prayers, and tears.   Could it be that all that was between me and the day that seemed so far off—Jenn and Ami’s arrival (along with the rest of the team)—was a sunrise? It was so surreal. I was overwhelmed with thanksgiving at all the Lord had done in and through me.  It was quite literally too much for words.  Only tears would do.

 I was excited and I was mourning.  I was excited for all that was to come and mourning all that was soon to be the past. There is just something so beautiful in that to me…something I fear so many miss out on.

So, I got up the morning of June 16^th and had to tell myself it was actually happening.  The little bit of comfort that had naturally formed and what little bit of a routine (it’s bound to happen no matter where you are) I had were about to be done with!  Wake up call, anyone? Along with that, I was about to have the opportunity that not very many get—sharing my love (Sudan and ALL that includes) with those I love. Blessings upon blessings.

How MAF (Missions Aviation Fellowship) works is you call their number about 9 a.m. to find out when the plane is arriving that day.  It is usually anywhere from 11-3.  I was hoping they’d get in on the front end of that window.  The Radler Foundation had a short term trip that week, this day being their last day.  So, it made sense that the plane flying in with my people would be the one the Radler team would fly out on.  I decided I’d go ahead and hang out with them, Norma, and Grant that morning, waiting to find out the details, knowing there was no way I could accidently get left behind and miss getting to the air strip! (I may have told Kaya more than 5 times that he better not forget meJ)

ETA: 10:45 a.m. That is exactly when I heard the familiar sound of the small plane flying over our heads.  Oh, how much simpler life would be if flying simply consisted of waiting until you heard the plane flying over you, jumping in the vehicle, and being at the air strip 4 minutes later.  I digress.  I quickly said my goodbye’s to the Radler team and jumped into the land cruiser with Grant and Stephanie (she was also expecting a family coming in to visit).  I can vividly remember jumping in, looking over at Grant, and telling him I was nervous.  Of course, he asked me why I was nervous in the friendly and caring way that simply defines Grant.  Know what I said?  “I think because I know everything is about to change.  It’s reality.” Oh, how much one sentence can hold.

The plane had landed and as we drove up I immediately saw my red headed friend standing on the airstrip. I mean, she didn’t exactly blend in. J I remember Steph saying she couldn’t tell which one’s were going to be Ami and Jenn and I quickly informed her she’d know…they’d be the ones running towards me.  Sure enough, it took 1.3 seconds for that to be the case.  I could barely get out of the vehicle before Jenn and I were hugging mess of tears.  Right after her, Ami.

I made my way around and hugged everyone’s necks…and…it was weird.  It was amazing…and weird.  I mean, having two worlds collide is just odd…surreal…like a dream.  Have I gotten my point across?  I found myself just staring at everybody and am pretty sure I kept saying out loud, “You’re here.” as if to keep reminding myself they were in fact there.

We ended up going up to the church compound since Andrew ended up on the flight that was coming in about 20 minutes later (the one the Radler team was flying out on) and I was able to show everyone around.  Do I need to tell you yet again that it was excitingly weird? We headed over to the Water Harvest Compound where everyone ended up meeting the Radler team right before the headed off and Ami and Jenn got to see Norma! We had a little Waxahachie Bible Church Reunion right there! I can promise you that never in Norma’s (or my) wildest dreams did she think that the 4 of us would be chit chatting at her home in South Sudan.  I love God for that!

Andrew got in and joined up with us and we all headed for the very first thing on the agenda.  Steve and I had kept it a secret, so I was super excited for everyone.  Insert: chimpanzees!!  Everyone was so excited and enjoyed themselves.  I mean, the chimps are just too precious. There are plenty of pictures and videos on my facebook if you care to see them!

So, since it was Thursday I had my group in Mondikalok to go to that afternoon.  It was going to be my very last one with them…emotions were on the forefront.  I had hoped that maybe there might be a chance that Jenn and Ami would get to see what it was I had actually been doing while there.  Right away that was the case as Steve gave the go ahead for Jenn, Ami, and Andrew to head out with me to Mondikalok.  I was so excited to share that with them.  Jenn got to ride out there on the motorbike with Scovia and we 3 headed out in the big van.  Come to find out Scovia was set to do an education seminar that day also, so when we arrived there were way more people there than usual. 

I wasn’t exactly sure what the Lord had in mind because I had planned on washing the group members’ feet while sharing the story of Jesus washing His disciple’s feet.  There are usually like 6-10 people that come to the group.  There were easily 20-25 people there.  After Scovia asked me what I wanted to do, I stood there with a wash basin in one hand and soap in another literally asking God (silently), “Okay, what’s in store this time, God? There are so many more people… am I really to wash every one’s feet??” Ami walked over to me in that same moment and says to me, “Jess, we can all help you wash feet…you don’t have to do it all…we can help.”

I can’t even type that without tears welling up. Do you see how loving of a God I serve? Not only that, but a God who knows all…and it’s all in His timing, in His way..and it’s FAR better than what I could ever conjure up in this head of mine.  He sent them to join me in that moment, in serving those people.  He sent that many people for a reason.  It wasn’t just a coincidence.  It never is.  What occurred next was stunningly beautiful.

No one had the slightest clue what was going on…but it didn’t take long.  I asked Andrew if he minded being the first one to start washing feet…beginning with a specific man first.  To no surprise, Andrew lovingly and willingly accepted.  He bent down on his knees at the feet of Wani, washbasin beside his feet and I gently asked Wani to please take off his shoes.  You could have heard a pin drop and all eyes were on Wani.

Let me explain why I purposely asked Andrew to wash Wani’s feet first.  All of it was intentional.  Wani is a man who was at the very first group meeting in Mondikalok and barely spoke 2 words.  He said just enough for me to be clear that he was not born again and not ashamed of that.  He came to almost all of the meetings, but was also the ring leader of the group of men who decided to inform me that what I was doing was a waste of their time. He always came with a bad attitude.  He would sit with his arms crossed, only talking really if it were to say something controversial or with the intention of instigating.  Yet, he kept coming.  I kept welcoming him, going above and beyond to be as friendly as I could to him.  He was watching and I knew it.

So, as soon as I saw Wani sitting on the end of the bench beside a number of other men, I just had this immediate confirmation in my Spirit that he was to be the first one.  Not only that, but Andrew was to be the one to start the washing-a man washing the feet of men.  I don’t think I have to say that there is Biblical significance to that (wait, I just said it).  Not just that, but a white man washing the feet of a hard hearted, Sudanese man.  Like I said, I couldn’t have dreamed it up.

He looked at me like I was crazy.  Perfect. All of the men sitting beside Wani began to laugh.  Even better.  So, Wani hesitantly slips off his sandals and Andrew begins washing his feet.  I began telling the story of Jesus washing His disciple’s feet.  Andrew continued on to Simon, who was also very open about not being born again.  God knew those two would sit by each other.  On and on and on.  Ami began washing the feet of the women and I continued to share as Jesus gave me the words-His Words.  I saw Jesus before me as Ami gently poured the water over their feet, washing away the dirt, and drying their feet with her skirt.  Jenn did the same.   After a number of people had their feet washed I could help but laugh at the beauty of what I saw.  No longer were they hesitant, but the women were forming a line in excited anticipation of having their feet washed.  More people came.  They got their feet washed. I then put my knees to the dirt and did my last physical act of Love for those in Mondikalok as I washed the last few dirty feet, drying them also with my skirt, speaking blessings over them.

The main group members expressed their gratitude to us and to me for the past 4 months, I walked over to both Wani and Simon, looked them in the eyes, and told them I was going home and anticipating the day I get the news they have finally surrendered their lives to Christ, I encouraged Moses (the very first and youngest person to actually lead a group) to continue strong in His walk, we said our goodbyes and we began walking back to the van.  Ami, Jenn, and Andrew were walking in front of me and then I hear my name being called out. 

I turn around and see Moses running towards me.  I didn’t know if I could handle it, about to fully let lose all of the emotions inside of me.  He simply wanted to know how he would ever be in touch with me.  Sweet Moses, I think he got more than he bargained for. Haha I told him how, and continued to the bus, overwhelmed yet again with the mixture of joy while also feeling like a piece of my heart was ripped out to be left behind.

I turned the corner to see Ami, Jenn, and Andrew talking with a man that I could instantly tell was drunk.  I couldn’t help but start laughing, y’all.  I thought, “Welcome to Sudan.  Welcome to what my life has been the past 4 months!!—excitingly unpredictable!” I joined their little group discussion to find out that they were all trying to figure out what in the world he was talking about.  Yes, I’m laughing as I type this.  So, I ask him his name and he says, “My name is Alleluia Amen!” My response? “You’re name is Alleluia Amen?!” “Yep.” I mean, the only appropriate response to that is, “Well, praise the Lord!!” haha. I think you may have had to be there for that to be as funny as it is to us.  Come to find out that’s what he had been trying to tell them but none of them could tell that’s what he was saying.  Long story short, we ended up talking to him for a while and he became fully aware of the fact that He needed Jesus to save him from his sins.  He surrendered his life to Christ right there in the middle of the road.  I was so thankful Jesus sent him to us, especially for Ami, Jenn, and Andrew to see the beauty and simplicity of the Gospel in action. It never gets old…ever. Oh, and right before we are leaving I decided to ask him again what his name is.  Peter. We went through this whole long drawn out ordeal of trying to figure out his name and he just decides to finally tell us, “My name is Peter.” Of course it is! J

Now, God accomplished all He intended to in Mondikalok for the day and we headed back to Kaya’s compound to share of His goodness with the rest of the team.

I had already decided that I was going to move out of my room so Rebecca could get moved in her first night there.  I was personally so blessed to have the chance to get settled into my “own space” while also having the comfort of the short term team there with me, so my conflicting desires of wanting to stay in there as long as I could only to try and be in denial that I was leaving, were easily overcome when it came down to it. 

Do I have to tell you it was hard? Didn’t think so.  I procrastinated until I couldn’t anymore and packed up my room, moving everything into the large room with Jenn, Ami, and Sarah.   Moving has always been such a hard thing for me.  I am so very sentimental when it comes to stuff like that, but I praise God I am because He is then able to swoop in and remind me that there will soon be a day where I will finally be Home for good. There will be nothing bitter about it.  Oh, how I long for that day! I took my time, thanked God for all He allowed to be accomplished in that blessing of a room, and gave Rebecca the key.  Well, of course, not before having my little cry session in which David Kaya comes in and successfully tells me that it was not time to cry yet. I just love him and his uncomfortable with crying self.   J

I found myself lying under a mosquito net that night that was literally 3 inches from my face, in a much different room full of 5 beds, two of which had 2 of my best friends sleeping in them, all of my things spread out everywhere, fully aware that my transition back home had already began…

What a week can hold...

Where has the time gone? As usual, I intended to write this post a lot sooner, but let me tell you, jet lag had other intentions.  As I fully expected, I didn’t have the time to sit down and write out what my last week in Kajo Keji looked like while there with the team and then once I got home I was literally useless.  I was simply exhausted and have had no motivation to do much of anything.  But, I’ve been told it typically takes a day per each hour of time difference to recover.  Sudan is 8 hours difference from Dallas, and I’m actually feeling pretty good today, so I’m more or less on schedule!  More about my transition later.  First, I want to fill you in on the last week or so of my time in South Sudan. 

I will likely do a number of posts simply because I have so much to share. I’ll start with the day the team arrived soon....stay tuned!