One Stone at a Time

“What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task.  I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.  So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.  The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.  By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it.  But each one should be careful how he builds.”  1 Corinthians 3:5-10

I took this picture the second or third week I was here.  It’s a picture of the foundation of the building that will soon be finished showers and toilets that is right beside my room.  I found myself completely intrigued by the process starting from the ground up.  I walked out one evening to see what progress had been made that day and saw this and for some reason found it to be just beautiful. 

Sitting here, over 3 months later, I know why.  He wanted to make a very clear point to me, and has brought me back to this picture, and more importantly, the message of this picture time and time again during these past 4 months.

  

 I am a big ‘ol boulder.

In a country that has the history such as South Sudan, there is much, much work to do…on so many levels.  I’ve found myself day in and day out going about the work God prepared the way for so long ago.  Many days I struggled with the tediousness of it.  Others, I was absolutely blown away by the unexpectedness of it all.  All of the days, I was being used as a boulder. 

One stone at a time His Kingdom is being revealed.  One stone at a time His Kingdom is growing.  One stone at a time lies of Satan are being extinguished.  One stone at a time the Holy Spirit is being welcomed.

To Him be all the glory, forever.

Can you believe it? Jenn, Ami, and the rest of the team are in route as I type this.  It’s so surreal.  I’ve got butterflies.  This time tomorrow, Lord willing, I will have welcomed them to my home here.  I am just so overwhelmed with just how sweet Jesus is to me.  He didn’t have to allow me the privilege of coming here.  He for SURE didn’t have to allow me the privilege and enormous blessing of having two of my closest friends joining me for the last week.  I would consider Him no less good if Jenn and Ami weren’t coming, but it just goes to prove that He knows how to woo me. He loves me so!

It’s bitter sweet, for sure.  Those are just words though.  They can’t really explain what’s going on in this heart of mine. I have so many loves in so many places, with one physical body.  This is life here, and makes me that much more excited to reach my real Home.  Nothing will be bitter. Only the sweet. 

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Please pray for this next week.  I will be finishing up with my groups.  It will be so sweet and so hard.  I plan to wash their feet as one last way of serving them and being Jesus to them.  There a whole blog post on why I am choosing to do so; maybe the next one. I just know God has much in store.  I can’t wait to see all the Lord accomplishes in and through everyone.  Late night chats, star gazing, PJ praying time, and I’m sure many tears are in the VERY near future!! J Oh, and I’m not sure if I’ll get one more update in before heading home, so if not, I’ll see you on the other side!

LOVE!

Hearing with the Heart

We hopped on the bike, challenging the rain, and off we went…headed in the direction of Mondikalok as Thursdays here entail.  About half way there, the rain found us. So, as many others chose to do as well, we stopped and waited under a tree that was easily a thousand years old.  About 10 minutes went by and we decided to continue on our journey, trusting the rain was finished for the time being. 

I’m so grateful we didn’t turn back.

Upon arriving, we greeted all those we came across and made our way to the shop we always go to first.  We were quickly informed that no one from the group was around.  So, we visited.  Then, as God is always so faithful to do, He sent a woman who looked to be in her 60’s our way.  I knew upon seeing her that the interaction was going to be interesting.  To no surprise, she immediately walks straight up to me and tells me to give her money.  She grabs a package of biscuits, as if I had already told her I would.  Before I could even respond, Scovia tells her that if she has the money she’ll buy them for her.  She did, and the Abuba got her biscuits.  That wasn’t enough for her, though.  She them came to me and told me she wanted 10,000 shillings.  This is when the 2 men we were sitting there visiting with stepped up.  They began talking to her and Scovia began telling me what they were saying. 

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they were explaining to her that she should be thankful for what was graciously given to her already.  Instead, she wasn’t satisfied and was asking for more.  They were telling her that by asking for more she was saying that what she was given wasn’t enough.  I was listening, knowing God could very well be setting the stage for me to step in at any moment and turn the focus on my sweet Jesus.

The time soon came. 

In the midst of this woman saying so many things that were out in left field and telling me like 5 different names when I asked her, shoving something in her mouth and spitting  (I found out  it was some fresh tobacco mixed with ashes…so gross), she began saying that Jesus followers are happy. It was go time.  So, I attempted to ask her who Jesus was to her.  She then began singing a popular hymn sang here.  She really was pretty funny and seemed so random.  I knew different.  I feel pretty comfortable in saying that it wasn’t just Kiden (what I was told her name was) I was speaking to. 

Confusion isn’t of God.

She wouldn’t respond to anything I said to her, but just kept asking for money and taking my arm and putting it next to hers, comparing our skin.  I just kept looking at her, specifically her eyes, and couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with the Truth that Jesus loves this woman.  He loves her fully.  I wanted nothing else but to love her the same. 

The men began telling her she needed to go.  She was now beginning to annoy them.  I sat there praying that she wouldn’t leave until Jesus was finished with what He wanted accomplished…regardless of what that looked like.  She didn’t leave. 

Scovia asked me what I wanted to do since none of the group members were there.  So, I told her we could just visit for a bit more and then head back to the office.  Right then another old woman walks under the awning of the store where we are all sitting. She was beautifully tall, wearing a bright African printed dress.  She was using her hands and Scovia leaned over and informed me that she was deaf.

Of course she was.  I smiled as I watched her talk to the men with the same noise for each word as she used her hands to convey what she was saying.  I can’t help but be amazed at the fact that we as humans always seem to find a way to communicate…and here, without the gift of sign language.  It’s signs alright, but ones that they have just had to figure out over time and adapt to.  So, it wasn’t but a minute or two before the woman who was deaf picked up on what was going on with Kiden. 

Then, a moment in which I could not hold back my laughter happened.  The deaf woman turns to Kiden (as she is continually putting her hand out and asking for money from me) and motions with her hands, “What is wrong with you? Do you not have ears to hear? She has told you already she doesn’t have money to give you!!!” It was perfectly understandable and beautifully done so quickly.  I found myself in awe.

The deaf was asking the one with hearing if she had ears to hear.

 Powerful. I was trying to drink it in. It was another one of those moments.  One of the moments where time seems to stand still and Jesus is so tangible and real. The truth of the situation was that Kiden had physical ears to hear alright, but the deaf woman pointed out that she simply wasn’t listening.  But, the deaf woman heard it loud and clear.

Scovia and I got up after that and decided to walk back to the motorbike.  I took 3 steps, Kiden took 3 steps.  She was my shadow.  She wasn’t leaving my side.  The deaf woman was close behind her.  Followers. The physically deaf and the spiritually deaf.  We stopped at another shop to greet one of the Mama’s and so there we had all of us standing there.  The deaf abuba decides to take her opportunity to now gently ask me for money for what she signaled to be for food.  Y’all, it became comical at this point.  This is when Kiden looks at her like she’s crazy for now asking me.  This whole time the deaf abuba would jump back any time Kiden would touch her.  She was very clear she didn’t want Kiden touching her.  It broke my heart.  It was clear that Kiden had a reputation in the village of being “crazy”.  So much so that her touching people caused a reaction. 

So, we’re standing there and Kiden leans into the deaf abuba and she shakes her finger at her telling her to stop touching her and then realized that Kiden has a package of biscuits and signs out for Kiden to share with her.  What does Kiden do? She graciously says okay.  So, I proceed to open the package for them and the split it in half.  The next thing I know I’m signing to convey something that I knew was something Jesus wanted to say to this deaf abuba.  It had to be of Jesus, because the message got across the first time loud and clear.  I told her, “You don’t want her to touch you…but you are okay with her sharing her food.  How is that okay?” She smiled and put her hand up and crossed her two fingers telling me that she and Kiden were now one and she was okay with her.  Right.  Regardless, I got my point across. Rather, Jesus got His point across.

Scovia and I continue on and as we’re walking by a number of men who are working on bikes and such they say something to Scovia.  She turns to me and tells me that they asked her if we could teach them something from the Word.  They wanted to learn about Jesus.  The next thing I know there are people gathering under the tree.  How can one turn away from people wanting to learn about Jesus.  I just couldn’t justify saying no.

Up walks a boy who closely resembles Yaba.  There was more clarity to this boy, but walked like him, talked like him, looked like him.  He wobbled his way over and sat under the tree.  The deaf woman sits next to us on the bench.  Kiden sits on the outskirt of the group of people as she was told to by the men.  Men, women, and children, about 20 in number, sat there, waiting to learn about Jesus. 

I sat there for a few seconds just looking around, looking at the faces before me, asking the Lord to show me what it is He wants to say to them.  Sometimes I just feel like I am transferred back in time.  Sometimes I think God clears everything out of my mind and shows me how He saw things, how He sees things.

Self-righteousness.  Sinners. Humility. True repentance.  The Pharisee and the Tax Collector, again.  Luke 18:9-14. Go.   

We finished and one of the men spoke up and thanked me for sharing Truth with them.  He then introduced himself as the chief of the village and a born again believer.

Wow. I get to do this.  I get to do this.

Everyone dispersed after praying and Scovia and I finished our 3 minute walk of a journey to the motorbike.  Kiden followed close behind, of course.

We drove off…with me praying that many are that much closer to knowing Jesus than prior to us coming.  I pray that God will give them ears to hear and eyes to see….spiritually.  I pray that the chief of that village will be purposeful to encourage the Word of God to be shared there.  I pray so many things…but mostly that Jesus will be truly known for who He is.    

Jesus is not like going to Juba.

Time is closing in and my time here is soon to be finished. 

It’s an interesting thing, doing the day in and day out life here while knowing in the back of my mind (okay, some days it’s in the forefront of my mind) that in two and a half weeks life will be drastically different.  You would think that it’d make sense to say that things will return back to “normal”.  I’ve long known that there is no such thing.  I will return alright, but I will never go back to what I was like prior to leaving.  Things will, yes.  Circumstances, maybe.  Me, no.  I praise God for that beautiful truth.

Things have been a bit slower as far as the groups go since getting back from R&R.  2 of the groups actually met while I was gone, which I thank God for.  There’s always a moment when I find myself wanting to be disappointed that more didn’t “happen”, but right there along with that temptation is the Truth that ONE of these groups successfully meeting-without me-is something to sing to Jesus about!  The week I got back it was like I had been gone for a year and people were just thrilled to see me again.  It was pretty sweet, I’d admit.  I just had to laugh though…

The first day I went to Wudu market after getting back Scovia and I were just walking down the road…hand in hand..chit chatting about life and God and simply enjoying each other’s company(reminder: totally culturally acceptable) and not one or two, but three people either came up to me or yelled out my name as I was walking and expressed just how much they missed me and the group meeting with me! I would greet them and then they’d walk off and I looked to Scovia and asked, “Who was THAT?!” haha…she and I just both laughed, because 2 out of the 3 we both hadn’t the slightest clue.  The other person was someone who hadn’t come to the group in months. 

Now, there are so many things you can take away from this.  Did it feel good to be missed? Yes.  Do I think it was really me they missed? Nope.  I didn’t know them.  I think they missed what it is that I carry around with me…Jesus…rather, things of Jesus. They missed it while it was gone, but aren’t willing to take advantage of it while it is literally at their fingertips.  In their homes. At their workplaces.  In their churches.  So many people in Jesus’ time wanted to see Jesus.  They loved it when He was in their town performing miracles and sharing Truth.  But, how many of them dug through roofs to get to Him? How many people worked their way through the crowd just for the chance to grasp the edge of His garment?  How many were willing to leave the comfort of their lives for a life of reckless abandonment for Him? I think you know the answer.  

I just can’t help but feel (in a very small way) what Jesus felt.  They so often wanted what benefited them, but not the Person who was able to give it so freely.  I’m done with wanting what Jesus can give me and totally missing what it is I really need: Him.

Here’s another insight into what a day so often looks like for me: I had my group this past Wednesday in Wudu and one of the member’s sister was in town so she joined us.  She was very outspoken (a breath of fresh air) and did such a great job of encouraging everyone else to share as well.  Everything she had to say was completely Biblical.  I found myself Amen-ing a lot! J The scripture we were discussing was the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector in Luke 18.  (Go ahead and give it a read if you need a refresher).  So, we were talking about the character that Jesus seeks.  We discussed judgments and what it is Jesus wants us to offer to Him. We also talked about our hearts and motives and how we could know the law perfectly, but relying on it for salvation isn’t what the Gospel is about, etc. Let me remind you, this lady that was visiting didn’t say anything I wouldn’t have said, or wasn’t already thinking. We get finished with the group, everyone is saying their goodbyes and Scovia is talking with this lady as I’m standing there.  She tells Scovia that she is SDA.  Now, I’ve heard pretty much all of the abbreviations for the denominations here, but hadn’t heard of this one until now.  So, they are talking and I’m just standing there thinking...”S..D…A…what is that? SDA…?”  Scovia leans over and whispers “Seventh Day Adventist”.  Ahhh.  Hmm…and then as the lady is walking off she decides to conclude everything by saying, “Yeah…faith is like going to Juba.  You can go through Yei…you can go here..or there…but all the roads lead to Juba.  That’s exactly what faith in Jesus is like.” And walks off….leaving Scovia and I standing there.  It was like I was hit in the face with a brick and I was like, “Wait. What?!!” and she had already walked off and I just stood there dumbfounded and looked at Scovia and said, “No. That’s wrong.  That’s the OPPOSITE of what it’s like to have faith in Jesus!!!”  Scovia and I literally just stood there letting it sink in, totally not expecting that, and both just started laughing out of sheer surprise. 

Do you see it?

This lady was a living example of the Scripture we studied.  She had all of the “right” things to say.  She dressed the part.  But, she didn’t get it.  While I don’t know the denomination through and through, I do know that Seventh Day Adventists follow the law.  How appropriate.

So many people here seem to know Jesus on the surface. But, that’s where it stops.  They know of Him.  They know about some of the things He does.  They know what they have been told they are supposed to look like and act like and say and do to be a Christian.

They don’t know Jesus and it is painstakingly heartbreaking. 

This in no way detracts from the fact that there is Bible believing, Jesus proclaiming, Gospel living, born again believers here.  There are. I give all glory to God for His saving grace on the lives of those He has called.  Some have come to know Jesus through these groups.  Some who were already born again have grown in their relationships and have been challenged. Some choose to reject the Truth. 

You know, I can’t wait to get to Heaven and find out what God has done, even with me being here, that I can’t see.  I can’t wait to see what He chooses to do in the future with all of the seeds that have been planted now.  It brings me so much encouragement to know that nothing I’ve done while being here has been done in vain.  Has it been hard? Goodness yes.  Has it been worth more than I can express? Yes, eternally so.