Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Compassion Comeback
Have you ever imagined what life would be like if there was no such thing as compassion? How awful. As I mentioned in my prior (sleep deprived) post, I have been barely able to even tread water and hold my head up lately. Along with that, my compassion seemed to go right out the window. Of course, in the midst of chaos it wasn't something I noticed, but looking back it's so obvious. (along with the help of a concerned boss who pointed it out to me) It makes me so sad, but it's true.
What if Jesus had lost His compassion when things got chaotic and tough? Man, reality check 101. Sheesh...if you look in Scripture His compassion is all over the place!
Psalm 103:4 ..."who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion"
Isaiah 49:13 "Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."
Matthew 9:36 "When he saw the crowds , he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."
Mark 8:2 "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat."
James 5:11 "....The lord is full of compassion and mercy."
..and that's not nearly all of them. I started thinking about all of this after I read this article I came across today... http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=dw-wakeupcall092908&prov=yhoo&type=lgns . My heart just filled with joy at the hope a living God can bring. Tears filled my eyes and I read this and I was just so thankful that He is everywhere and reveals Himself in such powerful ways.
Thank you, Lord Jesus for your compassion and may we ALL have compassion towards each other!
What if Jesus had lost His compassion when things got chaotic and tough? Man, reality check 101. Sheesh...if you look in Scripture His compassion is all over the place!
Psalm 103:4 ..."who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion"
Isaiah 49:13 "Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."
Matthew 9:36 "When he saw the crowds , he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."
Mark 8:2 "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat."
James 5:11 "....The lord is full of compassion and mercy."
..and that's not nearly all of them. I started thinking about all of this after I read this article I came across today... http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=dw-wakeupcall092908&prov=yhoo&type=lgns . My heart just filled with joy at the hope a living God can bring. Tears filled my eyes and I read this and I was just so thankful that He is everywhere and reveals Himself in such powerful ways.
Thank you, Lord Jesus for your compassion and may we ALL have compassion towards each other!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Peace Please
It is so so so easy to get caught up in myself. I hate that. With a passion. I was reminded to the full extent of that when I read this today... http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2008/10/there-is-rescuer.html
My heart just breaks for all of those that will continue to grieve the loss of not only loved ones, their possessions, but also the life they knew.
Do you ever make a decision and for some reason have this 'feeling' that you just can't shake? That's the case for me here lately. Logically, it seems like the best thing to do. However, it isn't until later that you realize it was a lack of peace and of the HOLY SPIRIT! I praise Jesus for those things that I can't just shake. At the time it's weird and confusing but in hind site it's a blessing and protection. The past few weeks have been a time of trial and decision making for me. You know, the kind where you just want to close your eyes and pretend you are a kid again so you don't have to make grown up decisions and deal with grown ups? Ok, I'll just speak for myself, but that was (is) me. Or, just curl up into a ball and disappear? OR just drive off and not tell anyone where you were going? Ok. You get my point. (All passed through my mind many times)
I don't know what in the world I would do with out my family and friends who allow me to be crazy. I mean it. I've been pretty crazy here lately...either not wanting anything to do with anyone or talking at 100mph barely stopping to even consider if what I'm saying is making any sense or is understandable from any one else's perspective outside of my head. Total unconditional love. Undeserved and desperately needed.
Peace--I've got it now. If I may use the phrase...A weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Thank you sweet, sweet Jesus...I can breathe. Finally.
This is really vague and really random. I'm too tired to make any sense right now, anyway. Good enough for now!
My heart just breaks for all of those that will continue to grieve the loss of not only loved ones, their possessions, but also the life they knew.
Do you ever make a decision and for some reason have this 'feeling' that you just can't shake? That's the case for me here lately. Logically, it seems like the best thing to do. However, it isn't until later that you realize it was a lack of peace and of the HOLY SPIRIT! I praise Jesus for those things that I can't just shake. At the time it's weird and confusing but in hind site it's a blessing and protection. The past few weeks have been a time of trial and decision making for me. You know, the kind where you just want to close your eyes and pretend you are a kid again so you don't have to make grown up decisions and deal with grown ups? Ok, I'll just speak for myself, but that was (is) me. Or, just curl up into a ball and disappear? OR just drive off and not tell anyone where you were going? Ok. You get my point. (All passed through my mind many times)
I don't know what in the world I would do with out my family and friends who allow me to be crazy. I mean it. I've been pretty crazy here lately...either not wanting anything to do with anyone or talking at 100mph barely stopping to even consider if what I'm saying is making any sense or is understandable from any one else's perspective outside of my head. Total unconditional love. Undeserved and desperately needed.
Peace--I've got it now. If I may use the phrase...A weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Thank you sweet, sweet Jesus...I can breathe. Finally.
This is really vague and really random. I'm too tired to make any sense right now, anyway. Good enough for now!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
One Year
So much can change in one year.
I've been finding myself looking back here recently at just how much has changed in my life the past year. It's humbling yet a blessing also. What's crazy is the fact that I'm reminded that the Lord doesn't work on a time schedule. He isn't defined by days, weeks, months, or years. Praise Jesus for that. Seriously. I am so so so thankful I have serve a God that sympathizes with each and everything I go through, but isn't defined by the things I go through. Does that make sense? It does in my head. God is not circumstantial. Can I get an Amen?
I thought I'd look at some of the things that have changed from September 20th, 2007-September 20th, 2008:
So, a lot has changed---I have changed. He has not. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Gosh to think that one day I'll actually get to be WITH HIM! Now, that my friends, is something to rejoice about.
I've been finding myself looking back here recently at just how much has changed in my life the past year. It's humbling yet a blessing also. What's crazy is the fact that I'm reminded that the Lord doesn't work on a time schedule. He isn't defined by days, weeks, months, or years. Praise Jesus for that. Seriously. I am so so so thankful I have serve a God that sympathizes with each and everything I go through, but isn't defined by the things I go through. Does that make sense? It does in my head. God is not circumstantial. Can I get an Amen?
I thought I'd look at some of the things that have changed from September 20th, 2007-September 20th, 2008:
- This time last year I was ecstatic about flying to Minneapolis for the Desiring God Conference. Boy oh Boy was I excited. I was experiencing new things, praying new prayers, and stepping out in faith. Now I find myself wishing I could have gone to the conference this year because it is going to be AMAZING but SO SO SO extremely grateful for the opportunity last year along with the long list (like in the movies when Santa is holding the list of those naughty or nice and it unrolls and drops to the floor) of lessons I learned at or from that weekend.
- I have a second nephew, Hudson, who is his favorite aunt's pride and joy (me of course!) along with his big brother, Grayson aka Grayman.
- This time last year I was doing my best at waiting on the Lord to go to Africa and now I've gone, been changed, and desperately want to go back.
- This time last year I was on the second half of the semester in grad school in what seemed like the never ending, hair pulling, did I hear God wrong about what I'm doing? semester. Now, I'm in my last semester (ever) and finding it weird that class will be no more come December.
- This time last year I had a beautiful HUGE black lab aka my baby, Tobie...and he was healthy. Well, as far as I knew. Now, well...I don't. (yeah, no better way to end that one)
- Over the past year I've grown in my relationship with my sis...and she is quite honestly my best friend.
- This time last year was tough. Right now is tougher.
- I have grown in my boldness to share the Gospel. (absolutely nothing of me)
- This time last year I was scared to death at the thought of actually counseling someone for fear of messing them up and not knowing what to do! Now, I see 3-5 clients a week and while I still get a bit anxious at times I am able to rely on the Lord for His guidance and feel more comfy.
- 2 of my best friends have gotten married and one has had a baby.
So, a lot has changed---I have changed. He has not. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Gosh to think that one day I'll actually get to be WITH HIM! Now, that my friends, is something to rejoice about.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
I just know everyone out there in the blog world has been biting their nails in anticipation on my next blog. Yeah, right. Really though--it has been a while. There is a reason for this....
I have had NO TIME! Ok, usually I might exaggerate a little bit...but I'm not kidding when I say I've had no time. Between a serious kickin' my butt workload, Grad School, and other commitments I've made here and there I've been plum worn out. (I've always wanted to say that) If you were to look at my day planner (which has become my life-I'm honestly lost without it) you would think my 2 year old nephew had got a hold of it and just scribbled all over in every single little box. They are full. Just when I think that one inch by one inch box can't get anything else crammed into it, low and behold I do. I've been busy before, but not like this I don't think. It's not a day by day status, but a minute by minute. I literally have my days planned minute by minute.
8a.m. Dive into the work that was supposed to be done 3 days ago
8:01 a.m. Oh, wait...Call the person I forgot to yesterday
8:06 a.m. Fill out form needed by someone in 4 minutes
8:08 a.m. Breathe
8:09 a.m. Be reminded by the Lord that He is in control..
Ok, ok..you get the point. I should probably be more serious in letting you know that I love my job. I am so so so so blessed. You just don't even know. Is it stressful at times? Yes. Is it emotionally draining at times? Yes. Is it frustrating at times? Yes. Is it one of the many ways the Lord reveals Himself to me and how he shows me just how much he loves anyone and everyone regardless of their circumstances which then forces me to my knees in awe of an Almighty Creator? Absolutely. Despite not being able to sleep well because I'm so stressed, randomly bursting out in tears sitting at my desk, and having circles under my eyes, God is good!! He's more than good...He's marvelous! He's been allowing me to be apart of things that I will never be worthy of and revealing Himself to me through it all! He consistently reminds me that when I'm on empty is when I realize just home much I need Him for strength and sanity...for EVERYTHING!
OK, so this is going to make me sound old, but I don't care. I am so excited for tonight. You may be thinking I have some huge plans, might be going out, or wait...maybe even a date! Nope. I am picking up a movie on the way home, changing into comfy clothes, eating dinner, putting in a movie and eating popcorn. Gosh it's going to feel good to just sit and do nothing. Would it be awful of me to think that I deserve it? Well, regardless....movie and popcorn here I come!!
I have had NO TIME! Ok, usually I might exaggerate a little bit...but I'm not kidding when I say I've had no time. Between a serious kickin' my butt workload, Grad School, and other commitments I've made here and there I've been plum worn out. (I've always wanted to say that) If you were to look at my day planner (which has become my life-I'm honestly lost without it) you would think my 2 year old nephew had got a hold of it and just scribbled all over in every single little box. They are full. Just when I think that one inch by one inch box can't get anything else crammed into it, low and behold I do. I've been busy before, but not like this I don't think. It's not a day by day status, but a minute by minute. I literally have my days planned minute by minute.
8a.m. Dive into the work that was supposed to be done 3 days ago
8:01 a.m. Oh, wait...Call the person I forgot to yesterday
8:06 a.m. Fill out form needed by someone in 4 minutes
8:08 a.m. Breathe
8:09 a.m. Be reminded by the Lord that He is in control..
Ok, ok..you get the point. I should probably be more serious in letting you know that I love my job. I am so so so so blessed. You just don't even know. Is it stressful at times? Yes. Is it emotionally draining at times? Yes. Is it frustrating at times? Yes. Is it one of the many ways the Lord reveals Himself to me and how he shows me just how much he loves anyone and everyone regardless of their circumstances which then forces me to my knees in awe of an Almighty Creator? Absolutely. Despite not being able to sleep well because I'm so stressed, randomly bursting out in tears sitting at my desk, and having circles under my eyes, God is good!! He's more than good...He's marvelous! He's been allowing me to be apart of things that I will never be worthy of and revealing Himself to me through it all! He consistently reminds me that when I'm on empty is when I realize just home much I need Him for strength and sanity...for EVERYTHING!
OK, so this is going to make me sound old, but I don't care. I am so excited for tonight. You may be thinking I have some huge plans, might be going out, or wait...maybe even a date! Nope. I am picking up a movie on the way home, changing into comfy clothes, eating dinner, putting in a movie and eating popcorn. Gosh it's going to feel good to just sit and do nothing. Would it be awful of me to think that I deserve it? Well, regardless....movie and popcorn here I come!!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Weekend Wrap-Up & Stuff
So it's 6:30 p.m. and I haven't left work yet. In the midst of finishing up some things I have decided I want to blog, and I can, so I am. There.
So on Friday I drove to Katy, TX after work to my sis' new apartment. I went for work, but stayed to hang out and spend some time with my sis since she just so happened to move to Katy just a little bit ago. It worked out perfectly. After I did my work thing all Friday morning and afternoon and she did her work thing also, I headed up to her school to help her with some last minute things before classes start. My sister has her own classroom. Crazy. It was really neat to see her being able to stress over her own classroom!! Well, of course not the stressing part, but the 'own classroom' part. I am so proud of her. Katie, I'm proud of you. She is going to be an amazing Art teacher and I just can't wait to hear about all of the lives she touches and molds. We were up there for a number of hours and decided to go shopping (since it was tax free weekend) at the mall.
If you know me, I'm not typical a mall person. It was fun though! Oh, and I got to see my sister use her charm and influence on 3 employees at one of the stores. (2 who just so happened to be younger, cute boys that seemed to do whatever she said) She would be able to get the manager to give her HIS 30% off discount as well as the 'seasonal blah blah something discount of 10% PLUS the AARP/Senior Citizen discount of 10%. Trust me...you want to hear this. She said, "Yeah I was a Senior in may (IN COLLEGE) and I'm an American CITIZEN!" and he said....OK, that works for me! So, all in all she got a 38.00 pair of pants for 8 bucks. All this because she asked if they gave teacher discounts and they said no and she worked them from there!! I had half the mind to say "Hang on a sec."..and just go randomly grab clothes to buy for ME knowing it'd be like 5 bucks for anything the way she was going! haha. I didn't, no worries. She was proud, needless to say. I think if we stayed a little longer she would have been able to just walk out the door with those pants.
So we shop some more and then the mall is about to close and we are rushing because we were heading to a movie that was starting soon (warning: those who are not use to going to 10:30 p.m. movies and are usually sleeping by then should probably reconsider the idea. AKA my sister who was falling asleep after the first 45 minutes. ...you know you were, Katie. haha) So we are walking pretty fast with bags in our hands and my sis is in front of me and next thing I know I'm practically doing the splits and my right foot is sopping wet. How many people ACTUALLY slip in melted ice cream while walking in the mall?! That would be me. It was so gross. Katie missed it, but I'm sure she would have been laughing really hard if she hadn't. I jerked so fast to catch myself and shook my foot in an unproductive effort to sling the melted ice cream off of my now completely sticky foot. As I walk off I realize my 3rd and 4th toe are now successfully stuck together. I really thought about just how awesome that was when I got to the car and sat down and realized my back hurt a little bit right along with my right knee. Go figure. Some things you just have to laugh about. (my back and knee feel fine now thank the Lord)
Saturday we ran errands, hung out, watch 1 1/2 movies...yet another warning: DO NOT BUY THE $3 DOLLAR MOVIES THAT ARE ON SALE!! What can I say?? I'm cheap sometimes. Don't blame me, I get it from my dad. The second one was so awfully boring I just couldn't make myself finish it. Like how I left those for you to keep, Katie?! Haha. Enjoy.
Sunday was awesome. I went to church with Katie at First Baptist Houston. (her church) I just loved it. Besides it being amazing worship music, a solid message, friendly people (which was just so refreshing) I got to worship just 5 seats away from Beth Moore. That was just a neat little blessing. Church on Sunday made me really aware of a couple of things. I'm still thinking on them and might get back to you later on those. Overall, I was extremely blessed and encouraged.
This weekend was good. I needed it. Thank you Jesus for always knowing what I need, especially when I don't' have a clue!!
So on Friday I drove to Katy, TX after work to my sis' new apartment. I went for work, but stayed to hang out and spend some time with my sis since she just so happened to move to Katy just a little bit ago. It worked out perfectly. After I did my work thing all Friday morning and afternoon and she did her work thing also, I headed up to her school to help her with some last minute things before classes start. My sister has her own classroom. Crazy. It was really neat to see her being able to stress over her own classroom!! Well, of course not the stressing part, but the 'own classroom' part. I am so proud of her. Katie, I'm proud of you. She is going to be an amazing Art teacher and I just can't wait to hear about all of the lives she touches and molds. We were up there for a number of hours and decided to go shopping (since it was tax free weekend) at the mall.
If you know me, I'm not typical a mall person. It was fun though! Oh, and I got to see my sister use her charm and influence on 3 employees at one of the stores. (2 who just so happened to be younger, cute boys that seemed to do whatever she said) She would be able to get the manager to give her HIS 30% off discount as well as the 'seasonal blah blah something discount of 10% PLUS the AARP/Senior Citizen discount of 10%. Trust me...you want to hear this. She said, "Yeah I was a Senior in may (IN COLLEGE) and I'm an American CITIZEN!" and he said....OK, that works for me! So, all in all she got a 38.00 pair of pants for 8 bucks. All this because she asked if they gave teacher discounts and they said no and she worked them from there!! I had half the mind to say "Hang on a sec."..and just go randomly grab clothes to buy for ME knowing it'd be like 5 bucks for anything the way she was going! haha. I didn't, no worries. She was proud, needless to say. I think if we stayed a little longer she would have been able to just walk out the door with those pants.
So we shop some more and then the mall is about to close and we are rushing because we were heading to a movie that was starting soon (warning: those who are not use to going to 10:30 p.m. movies and are usually sleeping by then should probably reconsider the idea. AKA my sister who was falling asleep after the first 45 minutes. ...you know you were, Katie. haha) So we are walking pretty fast with bags in our hands and my sis is in front of me and next thing I know I'm practically doing the splits and my right foot is sopping wet. How many people ACTUALLY slip in melted ice cream while walking in the mall?! That would be me. It was so gross. Katie missed it, but I'm sure she would have been laughing really hard if she hadn't. I jerked so fast to catch myself and shook my foot in an unproductive effort to sling the melted ice cream off of my now completely sticky foot. As I walk off I realize my 3rd and 4th toe are now successfully stuck together. I really thought about just how awesome that was when I got to the car and sat down and realized my back hurt a little bit right along with my right knee. Go figure. Some things you just have to laugh about. (my back and knee feel fine now thank the Lord)
Saturday we ran errands, hung out, watch 1 1/2 movies...yet another warning: DO NOT BUY THE $3 DOLLAR MOVIES THAT ARE ON SALE!! What can I say?? I'm cheap sometimes. Don't blame me, I get it from my dad. The second one was so awfully boring I just couldn't make myself finish it. Like how I left those for you to keep, Katie?! Haha. Enjoy.
Sunday was awesome. I went to church with Katie at First Baptist Houston. (her church) I just loved it. Besides it being amazing worship music, a solid message, friendly people (which was just so refreshing) I got to worship just 5 seats away from Beth Moore. That was just a neat little blessing. Church on Sunday made me really aware of a couple of things. I'm still thinking on them and might get back to you later on those. Overall, I was extremely blessed and encouraged.
This weekend was good. I needed it. Thank you Jesus for always knowing what I need, especially when I don't' have a clue!!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Giggles and Yucky Bugs
I am amazed at how much joy these two little boys bring to my life. There is nothing quite like it. Having nephews is simply fun. Not to mention funny. I got to visit them this past weekend and soaked up all of the hugs, kisses, snotty noses, and pictures I could!! Here are just a few of many pictures taken...I hope you can enjoy them as much as I do, but I doubt it. :)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Rejoicing in Salvation
So, the Lord continues to place things on my heart and allows my life circumstances to reflect what He wants me to learn. It is a really neat/tough/eye opening/humbling thing to experience.
I found out on Monday morning that the 17 year old who was in the serious four wheeler wreck and who was adopted just over a week ago, accepted the Lord and surrendered his life to Christ on Sunday night. Man, just typing that makes me want to do two things. One, shout for joy and two, bawl my eyes out because of the wondrous power and sovereignty of God. Rest assured, that is exactly what I did on Monday morning when I read the email. To give you a mental picture, this is how it happened.....I open my work email first thing sitting down at my desk on Monday morning, still getting in the mood for a new week including all of the new experiences, new trials, new blessings. I read the words "bowed his head with me and asked Jesus into his heart and life" and proceeded to scream(yes, loudly) and threw my hands in the air (as if I were saying GOAAAAALLLLLLLLLL or if you prefer American football--TOUCHDOWN!!!), scared the secretary to death as she's staring at me wondering what in the world was going on with me, get up and run into the main office area literally jumping up and down and start bawling at the same time while telling her what I just read. I then ran down the hall and shared it with the president and other office workers. I then went across the street and shared it with everyone over there. It has been a long (short in time) road and I just KNEW it was a matter of time. I knew it-without-a-doubt, 100% knew it was just a matter of time. I sit here and wonder why in the world I don't have that kind of faith all of the time? With this situation, I felt as if the Lord specifically told me what I needed to say, when and how exactly He wanted to use me and that through that He was going to not only be glorified but receive a new son. Thank you Jesus for giving me that faith--I know it's not of me, it never is. The Lord faithfully gave me words to speak and love to share. Oh, Lord for blind faith in every single thing--big and small.
Here is what has been running through my head since Monday. Why don't we (true followers of Christ--including me) rejoice like that all of the time when learn of the salvation of a soul?? I was REALLY bothered on Monday. Think about it--i know 98% (my own statistic pulled out of no where) of the American population has been and will continue to be addicted to the Olympic games. There are many, many who are up on their feet shouting and cheering for whatever American it is competing in whatever event. For example, the American relay swim the other night...yeah--awesome. I was right along with everyone else up on my feet in awe of the sheer ability to swim and win like that. I ask myself, do I cheer for Christ and His work like that?! Do I rejoice in salvation like that? In my walk with the Lord, if I truly strove to talk, think, act as He did, wouldn't I also rejoice as He does?! I am positive Jesus wept in joy when Trey called out to Him. The Heavens REJOICED!!!
"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sleep.'" Luke 15:4-6
Why don't we want to be a part of that?!! Why are Christians able to go to a sporting event and cheer their heads off yet fail to realize the importance of the salvation of a soul? All I know is God has really laid this on my heart. I tend to be an emotional person and in no way to I expect others to react like me--I'm me and you are you, but as believers we are united at the cross. The cross that our Savior died on for the Salvation of our souls. I told myself on Monday that I would not allow myself to feel embarrassed at my sheer Godly joy and reaction to the email that I now have printed out and sitting up on my desk as a reminder of just how good the Lord is. I refuse.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the gentile." Romans 1:16
I have also been faced with just how much of a blessing it is to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. The Lord rubs me raw with this. It is so taxing, yet as much as it is taxing it is more rewarding. I found myself praying to stay raw the other day. When I think of something raw I think about when a sore is raw it is extremely sensitive to touch, you can't help but to be aware of it all of the time. It may hurt, but it is tended to. I want to be raw for Jesus. I want to be sensitive to His will and the small whispers of the Spirit. I don't want to think I can do things on my own. I want to seek the Healing power of my Savior day in and day out.
Lots of opportunities have fallen in my lap to serve the Lord in many different ways. Prayers for discernment would be great! :)
I found out on Monday morning that the 17 year old who was in the serious four wheeler wreck and who was adopted just over a week ago, accepted the Lord and surrendered his life to Christ on Sunday night. Man, just typing that makes me want to do two things. One, shout for joy and two, bawl my eyes out because of the wondrous power and sovereignty of God. Rest assured, that is exactly what I did on Monday morning when I read the email. To give you a mental picture, this is how it happened.....I open my work email first thing sitting down at my desk on Monday morning, still getting in the mood for a new week including all of the new experiences, new trials, new blessings. I read the words "bowed his head with me and asked Jesus into his heart and life" and proceeded to scream(yes, loudly) and threw my hands in the air (as if I were saying GOAAAAALLLLLLLLLL or if you prefer American football--TOUCHDOWN!!!), scared the secretary to death as she's staring at me wondering what in the world was going on with me, get up and run into the main office area literally jumping up and down and start bawling at the same time while telling her what I just read. I then ran down the hall and shared it with the president and other office workers. I then went across the street and shared it with everyone over there. It has been a long (short in time) road and I just KNEW it was a matter of time. I knew it-without-a-doubt, 100% knew it was just a matter of time. I sit here and wonder why in the world I don't have that kind of faith all of the time? With this situation, I felt as if the Lord specifically told me what I needed to say, when and how exactly He wanted to use me and that through that He was going to not only be glorified but receive a new son. Thank you Jesus for giving me that faith--I know it's not of me, it never is. The Lord faithfully gave me words to speak and love to share. Oh, Lord for blind faith in every single thing--big and small.
Here is what has been running through my head since Monday. Why don't we (true followers of Christ--including me) rejoice like that all of the time when learn of the salvation of a soul?? I was REALLY bothered on Monday. Think about it--i know 98% (my own statistic pulled out of no where) of the American population has been and will continue to be addicted to the Olympic games. There are many, many who are up on their feet shouting and cheering for whatever American it is competing in whatever event. For example, the American relay swim the other night...yeah--awesome. I was right along with everyone else up on my feet in awe of the sheer ability to swim and win like that. I ask myself, do I cheer for Christ and His work like that?! Do I rejoice in salvation like that? In my walk with the Lord, if I truly strove to talk, think, act as He did, wouldn't I also rejoice as He does?! I am positive Jesus wept in joy when Trey called out to Him. The Heavens REJOICED!!!
"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sleep.'" Luke 15:4-6
Why don't we want to be a part of that?!! Why are Christians able to go to a sporting event and cheer their heads off yet fail to realize the importance of the salvation of a soul? All I know is God has really laid this on my heart. I tend to be an emotional person and in no way to I expect others to react like me--I'm me and you are you, but as believers we are united at the cross. The cross that our Savior died on for the Salvation of our souls. I told myself on Monday that I would not allow myself to feel embarrassed at my sheer Godly joy and reaction to the email that I now have printed out and sitting up on my desk as a reminder of just how good the Lord is. I refuse.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the gentile." Romans 1:16
I have also been faced with just how much of a blessing it is to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. The Lord rubs me raw with this. It is so taxing, yet as much as it is taxing it is more rewarding. I found myself praying to stay raw the other day. When I think of something raw I think about when a sore is raw it is extremely sensitive to touch, you can't help but to be aware of it all of the time. It may hurt, but it is tended to. I want to be raw for Jesus. I want to be sensitive to His will and the small whispers of the Spirit. I don't want to think I can do things on my own. I want to seek the Healing power of my Savior day in and day out.
Lots of opportunities have fallen in my lap to serve the Lord in many different ways. Prayers for discernment would be great! :)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Grocery Stalker?
Am I alone in that grocery shopping by myself can be extremely relaxing and enjoyable?! I suppose if I was married with 3 kids, had a crazy schedule, and was always on the run I might feel a little more able to say that. It's funny how I feel the need to be justified in that. Hmm. Well, regardless, this single with no children, working full time, (about to start the new semester--LAST semester of Grad School, praise Jesus!) girl enjoys grocery shopping by herself at times. I like the simple pleasures.
Well, tonight I was doing just that. As I walked into the store I remember smiling at a gentleman as I walked in right beside him. I typically look people in the face, and try to smile just because you never know who the Lord will place in your path and for what reason. So, I'm going along getting the items I need and I get to the sausage. I look up and this specific gentleman is next to me. I don't necessarily know why I noticed that, but I did. I tend to remember faces pretty well. I didn't think anything else of it. Then, I'm getting some shredded cheese and sure enough right along side me is this man. I look up and he was looking at me-kind of in a 'trying to not catch your eye' kind of way. I thought "huh-surely he's not making a breakfast casserole too!!" haha. OK, I didn't really think that, but it makes the story better. I did think, "what are the chances?" Before any of you get any ideas, this wasn't a "I think you are cute" look. If this guy had been maybe 20 years younger and I knew he loved Jesus this story would be totally different all together! :) Needless to say, that wasn't the case. So I go on my way to the yogurt/egg section. I head over to get the eggs and I'm looking down and in my peripheral vision i see the guy RIGHT next to me. Now, I'm not thinking about chance happening and my mind is starting to think, "What the heck? Anything is possible, but this is weird." I'll be honest--this is when 2 words came to mind. Grocery stalker. So, now my fight or flight has been notified and I'm thinking in terms of specifically going somewhere else to see if he follows me, praying he doesn't. I decide I've got what I need and I head to the register. I'm checking out and kind of looking around trying to be inconspicuous of my paranoid self and I'm thinking I'm clear. Then....duh duh duh......i see the guy at the register RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Did I mention that when I noticed him there he was looking at me?! Now, some of you may be thinking "Well, um Jessica-did you ever think that maybe he thought you were looking at him and that's why he was looking at you?" That is a great question. However, I would have never looked at him (outside of my first glance walking in the store in an attempt to show the love of Jesus) if my intuition wouldn't have given me the feeling someone was staring at me over and over...and over. Thanks for asking though. All logical thinking is out the door by this point and I'm thinking the guy is going to some how follow me out of the store, see me get in my car and possibly follow me home. I check out, head out the door, get in my car, look around unashamedly obvious, and head out. As I'm pulling out I see the guy in my rear view mirror walking down the same isle I parked on. Yeah, I know. So, needless to say I'm home safe and sound. So, to you grocery stalker, be aware. I have a loving dad--and I'm a daddy's girl. Get the drift? Oh, and a mean, ferocious miniature long haired weenie dog named Gracie. She's killer.
(A little drama added here and there--never hurts anything. No, I don't really think some random guy is sitting outside my house.)
Well, tonight I was doing just that. As I walked into the store I remember smiling at a gentleman as I walked in right beside him. I typically look people in the face, and try to smile just because you never know who the Lord will place in your path and for what reason. So, I'm going along getting the items I need and I get to the sausage. I look up and this specific gentleman is next to me. I don't necessarily know why I noticed that, but I did. I tend to remember faces pretty well. I didn't think anything else of it. Then, I'm getting some shredded cheese and sure enough right along side me is this man. I look up and he was looking at me-kind of in a 'trying to not catch your eye' kind of way. I thought "huh-surely he's not making a breakfast casserole too!!" haha. OK, I didn't really think that, but it makes the story better. I did think, "what are the chances?" Before any of you get any ideas, this wasn't a "I think you are cute" look. If this guy had been maybe 20 years younger and I knew he loved Jesus this story would be totally different all together! :) Needless to say, that wasn't the case. So I go on my way to the yogurt/egg section. I head over to get the eggs and I'm looking down and in my peripheral vision i see the guy RIGHT next to me. Now, I'm not thinking about chance happening and my mind is starting to think, "What the heck? Anything is possible, but this is weird." I'll be honest--this is when 2 words came to mind. Grocery stalker. So, now my fight or flight has been notified and I'm thinking in terms of specifically going somewhere else to see if he follows me, praying he doesn't. I decide I've got what I need and I head to the register. I'm checking out and kind of looking around trying to be inconspicuous of my paranoid self and I'm thinking I'm clear. Then....duh duh duh......i see the guy at the register RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Did I mention that when I noticed him there he was looking at me?! Now, some of you may be thinking "Well, um Jessica-did you ever think that maybe he thought you were looking at him and that's why he was looking at you?" That is a great question. However, I would have never looked at him (outside of my first glance walking in the store in an attempt to show the love of Jesus) if my intuition wouldn't have given me the feeling someone was staring at me over and over...and over. Thanks for asking though. All logical thinking is out the door by this point and I'm thinking the guy is going to some how follow me out of the store, see me get in my car and possibly follow me home. I check out, head out the door, get in my car, look around unashamedly obvious, and head out. As I'm pulling out I see the guy in my rear view mirror walking down the same isle I parked on. Yeah, I know. So, needless to say I'm home safe and sound. So, to you grocery stalker, be aware. I have a loving dad--and I'm a daddy's girl. Get the drift? Oh, and a mean, ferocious miniature long haired weenie dog named Gracie. She's killer.
(A little drama added here and there--never hurts anything. No, I don't really think some random guy is sitting outside my house.)
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